


Persona

by St_Ciel



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Dark, Demon Ciel, Drama, M/M, New Orleans, Original Character(s), Psychological Drama, Voodoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-01-18 16:24:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 63,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1434988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/St_Ciel/pseuds/St_Ciel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Teach me how to live successfully in this world and I will break our contract and set you free." Newly turned demon, Ciel, has made a deal with his former butler on how to properly be a demon. However, after each kill he makes rather than become more empowered he discovers he has entered dangerous territories and has less and less control over his own existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Death After Life

August 26th, 1889

Isn't it a natural reaction? To be scared?

It all happened so quickly; the reaction was taken from me before I even had the chance to blink. I suppose I should be grateful to Hannah and Alois. Their wretchedly selfish behavior saved me the trouble of wondering what it would be like when Sebastian finally devoured my soul.

In a way, I do pity Sebastian, he was dutiful and held up his end of the contract with such honor, even though something as powerful as he had to serve as a lowly butler to a child. Now, though – all of that work, all of that effort – gone. I know how much he was looking forward to tasting me. After all, he made it very clear that he was saving himself for my ripe, depraved soul. He carefully cultivated me, primed me to make me the best meal he would have ever sampled.

Still, as I plummet into this sea, I know he's following after me, foolishly. Completely ignorant of the fact that his endeavors to save me are all for nothing – you see Sebastian, you're too late – I am already dead.

...

 

"My lord?" I hear his voice, calling me, beckoning me to wake, to open my eyes – to reveal whether I am alive or dead – I don't. "Master, are you alright?" He asks, I listen to him as he speaks to me, I can feel my lifeless body pressed up against his. There is no heart beating in his chest, there is no oxygen filling his lungs – he is dead like me. There is something else behind his words, behind the sentiment attached – he seems genuinely worried about me. Well, this is  _novel_.

"Young master?"

"What is it Sebastian?" I inquire briskly, still keeping my eyes closed.

I don't mean to sound as harsh as I do but for one moment, I just wanted quiet, peace and serenity; I just wanted to know what it felt like to be dead. I could feel Sebastian lay me out on the deck of a wooden boat and felt his body hover on top of me.  _Ah_ , he's checking if I'm breathing – I'll play along – I drew in a sharp intake of breath, letting my chest rise and fall with each inhalation. Seeming satisfied, he moves off of me.

"My lord, are you all right?"

"What do you think?"

"I – I don't know what to think." He pauses, placing his bare hand on my forehead, probably to check my temperature. "After what Hannah had said, I just thought that-"

"I'd be a demon?" I decide that now would be a good time to open my eyes.

Sebastian falls back, looking at me incredulously. Was it worry? Was it sadness? Was it shock or perhaps it was horror? I don't know what I must look like nor do I know what caused his reaction but I'll never forget that look on his face for as long as I exist in this world.

"You tried to kill me." I say snidely as I glare over at him, lifting myself up to my elbows. Indeed he did, when he caught me in the water, he punched a hole straight into my chest. I start to sit up with his assistance; he pulls me forward by grabbing my arm and bringing it towards him. "Were you trying to do it before I awakened? Before I could live as a demon?"

"No. Killing you wasn't my intent. I just had to see if you truly had become a demon." he reasons. In that case, what was this entire pretense for? Checking if I was breathing, checking my temperature – he has already confirmed his suspicions in the water. I run my fingers underneath my bloodied shirt – smooth, not even an indentation from the fist he plunged into me. I healed quickly.

I look around as we float along; this area is unfamiliar to me. Where were we? I think it is some kind of dam but I'm not sure. I look up to see the night sky give way to the discoloration of morning as the sun starts to rise in the sky.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get home – wait, home? I can never go home again – damn you Alois! You're the gift just keeps on giving.

"My lord, what do you wish to do now?"

What do I want to do now? I don't know.

"Sebastian, you needn't address me as such anymore. I am no more an Earl now as you are a butler." Well, I am dead after all – what was I going to do with a title in hell? Sebastians' eyebrows were knitted, as he was deep in thought.

"This has never come up before," He began, drawing his right index finger to his lower lips and stroking it lightly.

"What do you mean?"

"My contractor has died before our deal was complete.  _This_  has never come up before."

"So you heard what I ordered whilst in the labyrinth?" He nods. My final order to him was that he was to remain my butler until the day he eats my soul.

Dropping his hands and holding them out in front of his face, he looks at the backs of them. There it was, on his left hand, the letters of the Tetragrammaton written within our pentagram contract seal. It seems that my death didn't break our contract – he is still bound to me. Well, this is unfortunate… for him.

"It appears that I am still your loyal servant." He says solemnly. I scoot back, trying to stagger to my feet. Sebastian, much swifter that I am, gets to me and offers to help me up.

I swat his good intension away as I meander on my own.

"I don't need your help Sebastian." I hiss.

"My lord?" his voice is soft, as if he can see that I am struggling with my current predicament.

Well, what was I going to do? I am dead; my parents have died long before me, I have no manor to return to, I'm completely alone. Well, not completely.

I could feel my right eye start to itch and burn; so, my contract seal is still there too? I now know what I'm going to do.

"Sebastian, this is an order, teach me how to live in this world." I command.

Within the instant, he is down on one knee in front of me, his ungloved right hand crossed over his chest and his head bowed, all he utters is: "Yes, my Lord."

I feel his compliance is reluctant, to say the least. I reach over and place my hand on his head, which causes him to look up at me, his eyes demonic - carmine retinas with black pupils narrowing into thin horizontal slits.

"Teach me how to live successfully in this world and I will break our contract and set you free." I attempt to soothe him. If I can be successful here, then I won't need to go to the underworld and I definitely won't need him any longer.

Sebastian nods, seemingly satisfied with my terms. He gets to his feet and curtly bows in front of me.

"Where would you like to go now?"

"Do you know, I don't much care." I reply dryly.

And it's true – I don't.


	2. Me and the Devil

The warm sun fell over my face, basking me in its glow. I could feel the familiar comfort of my bed as I nestled deeper into the inviting cocoon of sheets. I wasn't really all that tired, in fact, I'm not really sure that I slept. I just lay here, trying to relax my mind from all of the thoughts that wore themselves out by racing around inside me.

"Good morning Master, it's time to wake up." He calls over to me, "For breakfast we have milk poached salmon with steamed asparagus topped with a hollandaise sauce." I open my eyes to see him stood at the head of the bed with an ornate silver service trolley. He opens the small mauve cylinder tin and sifts out a few spoonfuls of the loose dried leaves into the teapot, fills it with hot water and flips over a small hourglass timer. I recognize the scent, pungent and strong; it was a Ceylon tea with the perfumed citrus scent of bergamot – Earl Grey. The smell was so vivid I start to feel nauseated with each overbearing whiff.

Sebastian walks over to me and draws the layers of my self made cocoon off of me. I whine, not wanting to leave the sanctuary of my bed and I spy Sebastian from narrowed eyes as he set about to prepare me for my day. I've never observed him before - he is very interesting to watch. I never noticed how well he had adapted to being my butler, how much he had to learn and how much he had actually achieved. It was amazing how we slipped back into our routine as though nothing had changed but it was blatantly obvious to the both of us that everything had.

I sit up in the bed, stretch and allow him to undress me, just as he always has. He unbuttons and slips off my nightshirt, he then swiftly and with absolute ease pulls a pair of black wool breeches up around my waist. He then slips my arms into the sleeves of a black dress shirt and buttons it at the front. Tucking the tails into the waistband, he fastens the top of my breeches together; the coarse fabric grates against my skin.

Sebastian does everything at such speed and with such grace, I wonder why I've never noticed this before – I didn't even have to move an inch and I'm dressed. I couldn't even feel the cool morning breeze on my skin, it happened that quickly. I lean back slightly on my elbows as I watch him prepare my tea – the smell is still slightly sickening but I try to ignore it. Placing a small tea strainer onto the rim of a porcelain cup, Sebastian pours the freshly brewed liquid into it.

He puts it onto a saucer and hands it to me. I sit up, moving off of my elbows and accept the tea. I go through my usual motions of smelling the fragrant vapors – over powering and repugnant, I scrunch my nose up at the stench. I take a sip – it was horrible!

"This tastes revolting!" I hand the cup back to Sebastian as he smiled wryly at me.

"Well, we have no taste for human things after all."

"Then why make it?"

He places the cup and saucer down on the trolley and grabs a long thin black ribbon from the side of the bed.

"I would say force of habit but actually, it is necessary for your current well being."

"What do you mean?"

"I do this to help you adjust you from your former life into your new one."

"I think I'm adjusting well." Sebastian smirks at my comment as slips the ribbon around my neck. "What?"

"You haven't even begun to understand what it means to be a demon Ciel. Everything inside you has changed or is changing. All of your senses will start to heighten, you'll see things brighter, you'll hear things louder and everything will become illuminated."

"You make it sound so nice." I smile sardonically at him as he straightens out the ruffled material around my neck for the tie.

"It can be nice. We are faster and stronger than we would have ever been if we were human." He loops the fabric together to tie a bow.

"Would you prefer to make it even tighter?" I jest dryly; he looks down at me and into my eyes.

"No." he sighs bluntly. "We'll have to each you how to control that." He pulls the ribbon into a bow.

"Control what?"

"Your eyes."

 _My eyes?_  I leap off of the bed and sprint to the mirror on my dressing table; I lean over it and stare at myself hard in the reflection, my black nailed fingers pulling at my eyelids as I examine them. My eyes were like his from the other day - carmine retinas with thin horizontally narrowed black pupils.

"Have they always been like this?" I was nervous to hear the answer. I can't hide these eyes, it was already bad enough that I could see out of both eyes now but I had to keep up the charade of using my eye patch.

Placing both of his hands on my shoulders, Sebastian leans over, watching our reflections in the mirror. His own eyes kept changing from ruddy to carmine, showing off I would suspect.

"Take a deep breath and focus on changing them back to blue." He advised me calmly, his voice vibrated through me as he held my gaze in the reflection.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I think about my eyes, focusing on them and actively think about changing them back to blue. Opening them again, I see that it's worked – my eyes have changed back to their normal hue and I sigh out in relief.

Wiggling out of Sebastians' grip, I stroll back over to my bed and sit down. He follows after me and finishes readying me for the day, grabbing a pair of black under knee socks and my thin leather calf suspenders. He slides the stocks over my feet and up my legs as I prop them on his upper thigh. I cannot image what he must be thinking at this moment in time, I don't recall a time I ever cared – but for some reason, I do seem to care now.

"Sebastian," I began, I knew what I was going to say to him but the words felt jumbled in my mouth. He looks up at me as he starts to hook the small round buttons of my ankle boots. He doesn't skip a beat in between the buttons and looking at me. "I am sorry you couldn't, uh -" I still can't get the words out but being the ever dutiful butler, he seemed to understand what I was trying to say.

"It doesn't matter anymore, my lord, what's done is done," is all he says.

...

 

It has been one month since I turned.

Sebastian had thought it would be best to keep up the appearance of being 'alive' for the time being so we stayed at the manor. It would allow me to learn from him and it would allow him to get things in order for my eventual human demise. I was happy to do so, after all, it was my home and I was comfortable in it.

I chose not to engage in any social activities until I could control myself. The desire to devour my servants alone was incredibly strong, Sebastian had to run regular interference between them and myself, especially as I was starving and human food had the taste and texture of gritty sand. I'm not really sure how I am meant to live the rest of my existence like this.

Sebastian brings me what he can but I'm horrible at it – the slaughter, the kill, the taking of a living beings life, their essence and their soul. It has become overwhelming and hard to bear – I decided that, for the time being, to just not eat - which has its problems all of its own. I'm tired, I'm weak and I feel useless and destitute.

Was this guilt? A residue left over from my own deleted human existence? I can occasionally hear their screams in my head, their pleas to be spared, their prayers to God.  _God_ , I don't believe in God anymore – what good was he if he couldn't protect these innocent creatures from being snuffed out by a grotesque being like me?

I think of this often, especially now as I lay face down on my desk in my office. No one dares come into this room, as this is where I do my work and I hate to be disturbed. These days, it was the only place that I could have a moment of solace and quiet reflection on the things that weigh heavily on my mind. There was a soft knock on the door, interrupting my contemplative thought.

Sebastian enters the room with a tray of tea and cakes –  _oh, cakes_ , how I miss the sweet sugary taste of cakes. He sits the tray next to my head and I roll over to see it and sniff the fragrant chocolate emanating from the spongy mass – this is torture for me.

"Sebastian why do you keep taunting me with tea? Especially as you know I cannot drink it." I hiss, still face down on the cool wooden surface.

Sebastian grins at me; I can see a faint glimmer of amusement in his eyes. This has become a habit. As loyal as he still was to me, bound by our contract of course, I could see him starting to gain amusement by torturing me. He would make all of my favorite dishes and bake all of my favorite cakes knowing that I can't taste them – they hold no flavor in my mouth.

"My, what would the servants think if you didn't take your afternoon tea?" He asked as he pours the hot liquid into a teacup and places it down in front of my nose.

"And the cakes?" I huff.

"Well, what would the servants think if you didn't have your favorite cakes with your tea?" He chides me with a wry smile as he passes the chocolate cake over to me.

"This is hell – I cannot bear it. You're a sadist." I groan. I understand keeping up the false pretense in front of everyone but we are currently alone and I'm starving.

"Well master, considering that I was acquainted with the Marquis de Sade, I'll take that as a compliment." He smirks, sometimes; I wish I could slap that smug look from off of his face. "I suppose it's time I teach you to hunt." He concludes.

 _To hunt?_  I haven't thought about this – I need to learn how to take a soul. I sit up and straighten myself out, staring ahead; this wasn't something I actually thought about doing.

"Why would I need to do that when you bring me what I need?" I don't look at him; I know what he's going to say before he opens his mouth.

"My lord, your orders were clear – I have to teach you how to successfully live in this world. If you want to survive, you'll need to learn how to hunt – on your own." He moved to stand right in front of me; I can see his torso and his hands as they sit at his sides. I know that when he teaches me to hunt and I become good at it – I will need to uphold our end of the bargain and release him from his contract. I knew this time would come but I was hoping that it wouldn't have happened so suddenly.

It wasn't as though Sebastian and I had formed a bond – probably the opposite of that really. He seemed to live to punish me, putting me in challenging positions that I cannot fight my way out of. One of the meals he fetched for me was a prostitute – vicious little thing and a biter at that – but he knew that it would bring up memories of my Aunt that I had managed to suppress for such a long time now. Although he didn't say it, I knew with every waking moment that Sebastian Michaelis hated my existence. Still, at this moment in time, I would much rather be hated than to be alone and I will be alone for eternity.

However, it was a part of our current deal so I must honor that in exactly the same way as he had honored ours when the original deal was struck.

"All right." I sigh, "Teach me how to hunt."

...

 

He hovers over me, tightening his grip on my throat. I feebly struggle underneath the strength of his arms.

"Se-Sebastian!" I choke out, I have no air in my lungs and yet I feel like I'm suffocating, his face remains stoic and focused on mine.

"Get off me!" I yell.

"No." He replies flatly.

"Sebastian, get the hell off of me!" I struggle to get out of his vice like grip.

"No." He squeezes tightly around my throat, I can feel the tears welling up and burning my eyes.

"You're h-hurting me!" I cry. He only looks down at me unsympathetically as I struggle. Is he really going to kill me? I know that he must want to but -

"My lord, you'll have to learn how to defend yourself. I'm only attacking you with half my strength.  _Now_ , push me off." His voice is cold and detached.

We've begun hunting practice and by that I mean he attacked me. Catching me off guard and throwing me to the ground. He had already hurled many punches that had landed fiercely onto my face and

I buck violently beneath him, I can't escape,  _I... can't..._

"I-" I'm starting to lose consciousness as I can hear the bones in my neck give way and crack under the strain.

"There will be those that wish to do you great harm, you'll have to protect yourself from them."

 _Crack_.

"I-I can't."

_Crack._

"Yes you can -  _try_ , try to concentrate, focus your strength and push me off of you."

I squeeze my eyes shut even tighter, hot tears roll from my lashes, down my cheeks and into my ears as I struggle to bring my attention from the searing pain in my throat to my arms. I can feel energy pulsing through me, taking the place of the blood that once flowed through my veins. It courses and it surges and I can feel myself getting stronger.

Lifting my right leg up, I maneuver my foot onto Sebastians' chest. I take a moment to concentrate my thoughts and I visualize pushing him off of me. Within that second and with all the power I can muster, I thrust my foot into his chest and he goes flying. I struggle to my feet as I watch him collide into the nearest elm tree, causing it bow and break. I roll my shoulders, cracking the swiftly healing bones back into shape. I feel powerful and it feels magnificent.

With my newly acquired speed, I appear before him and watch as he tries to stand. I leap on top of him, tackling him back onto the ground and I pin his shoulders down. I can feel my eyes changing to the demonic ones as I hold his gaze.

"How's this?" I inquire as I bash his head repeatedly into the shattered trunk of the tree. With one fell swoop, he takes his arm and swipes me off of him with the same ease of a kitten batting a fly. Instead of colliding with another tree, I position myself midair to bounce off of it, using my legs to absorb the landing and propel myself.

Sebastian is already back on his feet, waiting for me to attack. Lunging forward, I hug my arms around him and we both crash into another tree, causing it to fall. I squeeze his waist tightly as I can feel him kneeing me in the chest. Bending backwards, I swing him up and over me, his head collides into the ground and I let him go.

"You fight dirty." He growls as he rolls over onto his side and pushes himself up to his knees.

I can sense that this lesson hasn't yet finished and I sprint over to one of the fallen trees – I wrap my arms it and hold it over my shoulder. I can't help but smile, this is amazing – I have never felt so strong in all of my life. I was a sick child, an asthmatic sheltered from the outside world, sheltered from harm and I had no ability to physically fight back. Something that Sebastian would always point out whenever he had to come to my rescue. Now,  _now_  – I feel like I can take on anyone, take on anything and I'm going to prove it.

Running towards Sebastian, who was just starting to get back to his feet, I take the tree and hurl it around like I was swinging a cricket bat. The motion swept him up and sent him flying – I throw the tree down and delight in my efforts – but – I'm tired. With as swift a motion as I had over taken him, I feel all of my energy is leaving me, causing me to drop to my knees. I feel light headed, dizzy and strained as I fall forward onto my hands.

"Young Master?"

I smirk; of course he came back so quickly. As much as I boast, I could never be as powerful as Sebastian is. In my mind, he is a pure demon, one who had ever experienced the life of a human. He doesn't realize that at times our bodies can be weak or rather he does realize it but never points that fact out to me.

I can feel his large arms engulf me as he lifts me to my feet. I would struggle and try to do this on my own but I feel that it would be futile; I am much too tired and much too hungry to try. Sebastian picks me up, cradling me in his arms and pulling me close to his chest. I rest my head on his shoulder as he takes me back home. I know I shouldn't but I do find great comfort in the familiarity of this motion. How many times have you held me like this, I wonder? More times than I could possibly imagine at this point but still, you won't have to for long. I will learn how to stand on my own, how not to be weak and I will learn how to defeat you.

"My lord, you're smiling." His tone was soft and sweet.

"Am I?" I guess I was, I think it was that last thought that tickled me -  _I will learn to defeat you_.

...

 

I feel sated.

I rest my aching back against the warm porcelain of my sunken bathtub. I rest my arms along the edge and drum my fingers against the sides. I close my eyes but still see the warm golden glow of the candlelight flickering throughout the room. Fluttering them open again, I look at my chest, legs and arms – not a bruise or scratch from this afternoon's dalliance, not that I thought there would be but as my body ached a little I thought there might be a sign that there was a least something a little human about me left.

I close my eyes again and relax into warmth of the water. I hear Sebastian padding around outside of the bathroom and the chortle of the other servants down the hall. Things have started to settle down for the evening and everyone was getting ready for bed. There is a knock on the door and I hear light footsteps come in – judging by the smell, I can tell it is Sebastian – demons give off a particular smell that differs from humans, it's sweet but oddly spicy.

"I was able to get the blood out of your waistcoat, my lord." I hear him pull a small wooden stool behind my head. It was my dinner – a farm girl this time. Her soul tasted sticky and tainted, it was bitter but satisfying nonetheless.

"Well that's good. I wouldn't like to explain to Nina why I go through so many clothes these days – especially as I'm not growing." I hear him hum in agreement as he gently takes a washcloth, dampens it in the water and lathers a bar of soap onto it. I can smell the overpowering floral smell, which nauseates me – another thing he does to torment me. I've told him time and time again that he no longer has to bathe me but he insists as it's in keeping with his duty as my butler. I think that it's another way he can punish me by using the sickliest sweet things he could find, knowing that I haven't been able to control my sense of smell.

"This won't do my lord." He sighs.

"What won't?"

"The way you killed that girl, it was incredibly sloppy."

I snort, "I got the job done didn't I?"

"That may be but in order to dispose of the body a little more easily and without arousing suspicions – you'll need to learn how to do a cleaner kill."

"Why when I have you to take care of it for me?" I goad, as I know what his reaction will be.

"My lord, have you forgotten our deal?" Knew it.

"No, of course not." I open my eyes and tilt my head back, looking up at him. "A deal is a deal Sebastian, I haven't forgotten." I bring my head back the front and sit up as he washes my back with that fowl smelling rag. "Although, if you keep trying to test my temper with smells like this, I may be forced to change my mind." I growl.

"I think your next lesson will have to be how to seduce your prey." He purred into my ear, I whip around to face him.

"What are you talking about?"

He raised his eyebrow and looked at me incredulously, "Seducing your prey." He states again, flatly.

"Why would I need to learn how to do that? I'm a child!" I interject.

"You are no more a child than I am a butler." He smiles playfully as he dips the cloth back into the water and draws the warm liquid over my chest. He used my own rhetoric against me. I am no longer a child - I am no longer anything. I have never even had my first kiss, let alone the ability to charm someone – I can feel my skin burning.

"You're blushing my lord." Sebastian grins – I want to smack that look from off of his face. "Surely you've kissed a lady before?" He continues to poke at me, I quickly turn my back to him but I can feel him lean over me. "Not even Lady Elizabeth?"

" _Oh God!_ " I groan as I put my head in my hands – I don't know what has just come over me but I feel horribly embarrassed, which I know is amusing Sebastian to no bloody end.

"Come on my lord, not even a peck?"

"Stop it!"

"Hm, well I guess that makes sense then. I'll have to teach you from scratch."

"What if I don't want to learn?" I mutter through my hands.

"You don't have much of a choice here Ciel." Even though I asked him to address me as such, it is still strange to hear my name uttered by him, he rarely calls me that but when he does I know he's serious.

"Why don't I have a choice?"

"It's obvious you're hungry, especially by the way you devour your prey – it's a mess. By seducing them and enticing them, you can remove their souls in the quickest, easiest and most elegant way possible, through their mouths." His voice was honeyed and kind. I sit up straight, taking my hands from my face.

" _Is that how you do it_?" I whisper solemnly.

"My lord?"

"Is that how you get these woman to come home with you, to come here – you seduce them?" I look over my shoulder to see him; he seems to have stopped dead. His eyes were empty and vacant.

"Well yes, I suppose it is. It comes so naturally I forget that I'm doing it." He shrugs and I turn back around.

"Was that how you got me?" I asked honestly.

I was trapped in a room, caged, desperate and alone. I never called on him but he appeared to me.

He denied the others, the predators, and the ones who beat me, enslaved me, and killed my parents. The ones who took my future and my life from me. Those seeking eternal life – using me as sacrifice but he declined them, ignored them and came only to me. His appearance was muddled, his hazy dark figure incomplete but his smile was broad as he set his sights on me.

When he spoke to me, his voice was calm, cool and collected and emitting a low growl but not a threatening one. He could see what I had been through, he could see my bloodied clothes and my anguish and he knew I was not afraid of him. It was at that moment, he chose me – I accepted – I shouted my revenge and he heard me and acquiesced - branding me - and then he freed me.

"I did not seduce you Ciel." He was firm but gentle; "I knew what kind of soul you would be from the moment they summoned me. I wasn't looking for them – I was seeking you."

I shudder at the thought – my fate was sealed the moment they took me and it was sealed again the moment I met you. Bound together, forever, until the grave.

I feel a warm towel wrap around my shoulders as Sebastian covered me securely. I start to stand on my own but Sebastian helps me, allowing me to use his arm to brace myself as I exit the tub. I stand there motionless as he dries me off; I think I may miss you when you're gone.

You understand me fully, the hatred in my heart and my desire for revenge. I am not so childish, not so naïve not to know that you were only with me to take my soul and you're only with me now because of our contract  _but…_

"Young Master, are you all right?" He spoke so gently, it sounded almost like concern.

"I'm fine, just tired that's all."

"That's only natural – after our lesson and your feeding, it's bound to take a lot out of you."

Sebastian drapes my nightshirt over my scrawny frame and kneels down in front of me to button it. I suppose this is just one more thing I'm going to have to learn how to do on my own.

"My lord, if you'll permit me, I think after I teach you the art of seduction, I think we should trial you out."

"Excuse me?"

He now stands, walking over to the candelabra by the countertop and escorts me out.

The hallway was dark and silent; I couldn't hear a thing stirring in the manor. Entering my bedroom, I crawl into pre turned down sheets and draw them over me.

"The Viscount Druitt is hosting a Masquerade Ball and I think it might be the perfect opportunity for you to hunt and capture your own prey. Especially as no one will recognize you."

I nod; I suppose it is time that I learn how to fend for myself.

"Will you be there?" I don't look at him; I just sit and stare forward.

"If you wish, I will be with my Master every step of the way. From a respectable distance, of course." I can hear the amused smile in his voice.

"Fine. I'll go." I said resolutely as I tuck myself into bed.

"I'll make the preparations tomorrow. Good night my lord, pleasant dreams."

Still, he taunts me – he knows that I'll never be able to sleep again.

 


	3. Her Hollow Ways

Our carriage pulls up outside the Kensington townhouse estate belonging to the Viscount Druitt. I sit inside for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts – this was it, I was going to do this, collect my first soul.

Sebastian looks over at me, his face covered in an elaborate mask. It has a large plume of black feathers on one side and a beak at the front. He opted to stay in his butler's uniform - save for a corsage of dark purple roses and black raven feathers – to match his mask, I suppose.

A wry smile is on his lips as he passes me my mask, an ornate gold Venetian facemask with several white and blue roses along the side. It matches my outfit, a long military styled dark navy blue wool coat with gold trimmings and buttons; it is so overflowing with fabric that it actually resembles a dress, much to my chagrin. I wear my usual shorts and matching waistcoat with a white blouse completely covered in frilly ruffles. The one thing I like the most about this costume is the tri corner hat that Nina has designed to match – it has the same black-feathered plumage as Sebastians' mask and a white and navy blue bow.

I tie the mask behind my head and I look over to him.

"Are you ready?" He asks me, that was a loaded question. I think I am but how can one ever be truly sure?

"I am as ready as I am ever going to be." I state – well, at least that much is true.

"Just remember what I taught you and you will be fine." He reinforces.

What he taught me, hm, the words were still fresh in my mind.

...

 

"Do not go for the weakest person. It may seem to be the easier option but that's not how we hunt. The more enticing the prey – the more delicious their soul." Sebastian advises me. It was our first lesson in seduction – or rather, how to use seduction in order to track our kill.

I was more than uncomfortable with the subject matter but I did need to know this to survive. I was more determined than ever to get this down so that I may be able to stand on my own. At this point, I was ready – I could start to feel my humanity finally slipping away, although there were some lingering inclinations left over which, according to Sebastian, was only natural. I wanted them to leave me; I wanted to have control over myself again. These remnants of my past only hinder me and I want them gone – this now includes Sebastian.

He continues to torment and punish me on a daily basis – hating me for being a demon – now I want him to go. If that's what he also wants, then he should leave. I think about this as he is trying to instruct me on what to do, I am sat at my desk, watching him as he paces back and forth in front of me, reeling off protocol like he invented it – he's wearing his reading glasses to mark the fact that he's a serious lecturer. Where did he get that concept from, I wonder, as I notice that he's been doing this since he became my butler. He doesn't need his glasses, I don't need my eye patch – I guess it's just one of those things we continue to do to make ourselves feel we are grounded in something normal, whatever that means anymore.

"Make eye contact, hold their gaze and draw them in. Make them feel like they are the only person in the room. Why is this important?"

I groan aloud and place my face flat down on the desk.

"I don't know."

He places his hands down on both sides of my face and bends over.

"I need you to learn this, my lord, how are you ever going to survive if you don't?"

I sit up and make eye contact with him, "Fine. This is important because this is how we lure them into a false sense of security before we attack."  _Like a spiders' web_  – those words came crashing into my thoughts, I shake them off as they weren't mine but there they were, in my head.

Sebastian nods, seemingly happy with my response. "Compliment them, not anything too trite but be sweet and kind. The key to this is to make them feel special, like you understand them."

"Why's that?"

"Because my lord, when you can get them to feel like you care, they become more willing. If they are more willing then it's easier to entice and to overpower. Soon you won't need to even think about it. It'll come as naturally to you as it does me and you can attract anyone to you. We can trap anyone with a look, a touch or words, if we have to. We can subvert them and make them ours without even bothering with a contract."

"If you don't need a contract to get a soul, then why did you make one with me?"

"Because, I was bored of sampling the worthless cuisine around and I wanted something I could really sink my teeth into." His eyes narrow as he looks at me, I can feel them burning holes straight into my head. "I worked to make your soul the most desirable it could possibly be." He bends over the desk, his face right in front of mine as he locks eyes with me. Reaching over, he delicately touches my cheek.

"I wanted to make a contract with you because your soul was so sinister, so tainted, it was going to be such a euphoric high, like the very best glass of Absinthe with the perfect cloudy louche – I worked so hard to cultivate you, exact your orders and let you smell the blood of those who wished to harm you – most of all, I could not wait to kill you." He growls. I can't help but shudder under his touch – he has never actually told me how much he wanted to take my soul before now, I don't know why I'm nervous but I now realize where the hatred over my existence may come from.

...

I decide that it is time to leave the carriage. Sebastian drapes a long black woolen cloak over his shoulders as he gets out first. He slings it partly open, smoothing one side over his shoulder, revealing his corsage pinned to his chest.

He holds his hand out for me and I accept it, walking down the steps of the carriage and down to the ground. He leads me into the front as if I'm some kind of dainty doll but I find amusement in this, I don't know what he was trying to do but I found it humorous enough.

Entering the house, I instantly see the Viscount has exquisite taste – everything is white, white marble columns and floors, white wooden walls and large white roses and lilies in white porcelain vases. Everything looks clean and opulent.

Leading me into the main reception, Sebastian and I see the room is flooded with party revelers, all clad in the most fantastic masks I have ever seen. This was my first Masquerade and I am already enjoying it – I love the anonymity of it all, I could be a demon here and no one would know the difference, in fact, there were many here with red and black faced 'demon' masks on – if only they knew the actual truth.

Sebastian and I stand to the side and watch everyone enjoying themselves. The purpose of being here is that I need to hunt and seduce my own prey – but I need to find someone worthy of my efforts. So far, there wasn't anything I was interested in at all.

My sense of smell is extraordinarily heightened; I am trying to sniff out the very best soul that so that I can trial my newly acquired skills. No one here seems to hold any worth, just the run of the mill – I don't know what I was hoping for? Someone like me, perhaps? I want to taste what Sebastian has desired all of this time – maybe I am being too hopeful?

"My lord…" Sebastian pulls me aside and behind a pillar, standing right in front of me, he holds me close, blocking me.

"Sebastian, what on Earth are you doing?"

"Lady Elizabeth is here." He states. I start to become nervous, Lizzie will blow everything for me but still, I haven't seen her in weeks. I push Sebastian off of me and move him aside. I peer around the pillar to get a better look at her.

She is unmistakable, her golden blond ringlet curls are bundled up into two neat pigtails and her signature cowlick falls over her masked face. She is beautiful in her favorite pink dress that she only wears during parties. She looks miserable as she stands speaking to Paula, her ditzy but meaningful maid.

"Should we go?" Sebastian questions me from behind; I can't help but just stare at her.

"No."

"What do you want to do?"

"I think – I think that if I am to have my first kiss with anyone, I want it to be with her." I couldn't be more matter of fact.

I hear Sebastian chuckle behind me, he's jibing me – I know it.

"My, I wouldn't have expected such sentimentality from you."

"Shut up." I bark.

I have been avoiding Elizabeth since I turned; her overwhelming desire to do anything to please me would feed directly into my desire to devour her. As much as I pity Sebastian for having to be stuck with me, for the time being at least, I hold such sorrow in my heart for Elizabeth – a feeling that won't last long, I know but it's there nonetheless.

She still clings on to the past me, the physical me that had died even before my psychological self did. She knew me when I was just a small child, a little sickly slip of a thing but no matter what, I was happy. I remember being happy. She remembers me being happy.

It must be hard for her, when I returned I was callous and I was cold to everyone around and especially to her. I was only focused on exacting my revenge on those who wished to shame my family name, and me. I wasn't the same and she knew it. She tried her hardest for me; everything she did was to make me smile, to make me happy – to make me the way that I was when she remembered me. That was her first mistake, she tried to change me back to whom I once was – whom I could never be again.

That was also  _my_ first mistake, I never told her what I had been through, what I had seen – I indulged her attempts when I should have told her the truth. Perhaps she would have left; maybe even run, but I doubt it.

I know that even if I told Elizabeth everything, she would have just held my hand and smiled; she would have tried her hardest to understand and would have done her very best to assure me that everything was going be all right and that I was safe now. I know that that's what she would have done, had I have given her the opportunity but I didn't.

I thought that I was protecting her but now I realize that I was in fact protecting myself. I couldn't bear to harm her or to make her sad – I could never be the boy she once knew, grew up with and came to love, despite all of her efforts. I couldn't bear to break her heart like that, maybe it was sentimentality as Sebastian had put it but it was a feeling that I have held onto since my return. I loved her, in my own way and I knew that she loved me.

"This is the last thing I can do for her, the last gift I could give her." I reason aloud. I start to walk over towards her, I can smell Sebastian following behind me, I wish he wouldn't but I know he doesn't want me to do anything reckless. She is still talking to Paula, and she still looks seemingly sad for some reason, after all, she was at a party – something Lizzie loves.

"My Lady, would you care to dance?" I ask, bowing slightly in front of her and holding out my hand.

"No thank you." Her voice is distant and sad.

"Please forgive my Mistress Sir; she has been all out of sorts these last few weeks." Her brown haired maid tries to explain to me. Doesn't she recognize me? Of course not, I'm wearing a mask. Straightening myself out again, I move closer to Elizabeth and think about what Sebastian had taught me. I smile and hold her gaze.

"Apologies my lady, I could see that you looked sad but I only wished to share a dance with the most beautiful woman in the room, my apologies." I reach out and lightly stroke her cheek as I try to pour on the charm; I'm not very good at this but Lizzies' eyes light up – seriously, this is working? I can see her skin flush and her eyes look away coquettishly – all good signs.

I extend my hand again, "My Lady, if you will please indulge me?" She curtsies and takes my hand as I lead her out into the dance floor. I slip my left hand around her corseted waist and grip her left with my right as we begin to dance. A waltz, it is appropriate. Elizabeth is studying my eyes, they must be blue for the moment, and I know she wants to ask me something but she keeps biting her lower lip to stifle it. As we turn I glance over to see Sebastian, leaning against a marble column, watching me with an amused smile on his face.

"There's something – um, familiar about you." So she has decided to ask, "Have we met before? Do I know you?"

I smile, "One question at a time Lizzie."

She stops.

She breaks away from me, studying my eyes and the smile on my face – now she knows who I am. Lunging towards me she throws her arms around my neck, squeezing me tightly.

"Ciel! Ciel I've missed you so!" She squeals, and I don't fight her off, as I normally would do; I just let her embrace me. I can smell her skin, salty but sweet like salt-water taffy from Brighton beach,  _I will miss you Lizzie_. Letting me go, she looks at me again. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you wearing your eye patch?"

I don't have an answer for that, not a pre-prepared fake one anyway. Instead, I take her by the hand and lead her out through the ballroom and into the immaculate courtyard.

There are grey marble benches on the side next to the oval manicured trees. I bring her over to one and sit her down. I can hear her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She is nervous, although I don't know why. Sitting down next to her, I take her hand as we look up at the moon, large and full, bursting at the seams. We sit like this for a moment and then I release her hand, taking both of mine behind my head I unravel the knot from the strings of my mask and take it off.

"Were you sad because of me?" I wonder aloud to myself, she looks over at me, she has heard.

"You have been so distant lately and Sebastian wouldn't even let me see you."

"I wasn't really feeling all that well." I lied; her face went from worry to joy in a matter of seconds.

"Well, you're here now and you look well – that's all that matters." Her smile is like a beacon of light, I suppose now is as good as any to attempt my first kiss.

I scoot over closer to her, I can hear her heart pounding ferociously as I hesitate, what should I do, should I lean forward, take her face into my hands,  _God, I hate this_. I decide that the best option is to just turn to her, which I do. Her eyes are as big and as bright as the moon; I reach over behind her head and tug at the ribbon that attaches her mask to her face. Unraveling it, I draw it down, sitting it on my lap. She looks at me with a mixture of such joy and sadness in her vivid green eyes, I can see the tears starting to form.

"Don't cry please Lizzie." I try to soothe, I don't understand where this is coming from.

"I'm sorry Ciel, it's just that – this is perfect. I missed you so much and here you are." She wept softly, her tears starting to roll off of her cheeks. I gingerly place my hand on the side of her face and use my thumb to wipe the fresh tears away. I know eventually I was going to have to hurt her, I just didn't expect it to be in this way. I as I stroke her cheek, I realize that this will have to be the last time she ever sees me – it would be much too hard on her otherwise. She watches me study her face and she places her hand onto my wrist as I sit frozen, memorizing each freckle and each feature - trying to take it all in.

"Ciel?"

I don't know what comes over me but I lean over and I kiss her full lips. She breathes out into me as I move my hand from her face to the back of her head, bringing her closer into me. My tongue starts to take on a life of its own as it breaks the seal of her lips and enters her mouth. She struggles a little but then subsides as I search deep within her –  _ah, there it is_  – this taste, this sweetness that I find within her. I pull her into me tightly, using my other hand to wrap around her tiny waist – she tastes delicious, like all of my favorite desserts. I can't help myself as I start to devour her from the inside, drawing out her essence, sucking it from the very depth of her - she is heady and addictive. I start to feel her body go limp in my arms but I just cannot stop.

"Young Master, stop." Sebastians' voice is firm as he snatches Lizzies' wilted body from my grip. I can feel my eyes have switched over to the demonic ones as I glare at him angrily.

"You interrupted me." I snarl at him, I couldn't help it.

"You were about to kill her."

"Isn't that the point?"

"Ciel, I cannot let you kill her." His tone is strict as he gathers her in his arms, and starts to walk back into the house, I watch him as he goes trying to calm down my bloodlust. What was that? It was intoxicating. Standing to my feet, I dust off the folds of my suit coat; I place my mask back over my face and tie it. Collecting Lizzies' mask I quickly follow Sebastian in.

...

Finding an empty room wasn't actually a problem in this grand townhouse as I soon found out. Sebastian had darted into one rather quickly and I closed the door behind us. He delicately laid Lizzie out on top of the bed as gently as he would do a china doll, to which she did at that moment, in fact, resemble.

Then it hit me –  _Lizzie!_

"What have I done?" I gasp as I rush to her side, leaning over her, I check to see if she's still breathing, she is –  _good, I haven't killed her_. "Sebastian, will she be all right?" I am more than worried about her.

He places his hand on my shoulder as I stand over her, watching her chest rise and fall.

"She will be very confused when she wakes but she will be fine."

"You stopped me just in time." I sigh, then it dawns on me, I whip around to face him, "What took you so long, why did you let me do that to her!"

"I wanted to see how far you would go – if you could do it."

" _You knew_? You knew I would do this to her?" I spit as I throw myself on top of Lizzies' lifeless body. I would cry but for some reason I can't, there are no tears forming in my ducts but I do know that I am upset, Sebastian used her as bait, another way to torment me – hasn't he had enough?

Sebastian comes over to me and pulls me off of her, I kick and fight but he has many years on me so my efforts go unnoticed. "I could have killed her!"

"I would not have let you do that." He finally speaks as he puts me down on a nearby chair.

"When will you stop punishing me?"

"My lord?"

"I didn't want this, to be a demon; I wanted you to take my soul – I wanted to die – why are you punishing me for my existence?" I cave in. He has been tormenting me all along and for what? To get back at me over something I had no control over?

Sebastian kneels down in front of me, taking my face into his large hands.

"I am not punishing you Ciel, I am trying to teach you – isn't that what you ordered of me?" His voice is measured and calm as he speaks.

"What are you trying to teach me?"

"Soon, perhaps sooner than you realize, you will start to lose whatever is left of your humanity. These feelings you have now will be nothing but a distant memory that you will never reflect back on. Why are we here? We're here to hunt and to capture your prey, not to play happy families. She is the last thing that holds you back in this world and you have to let her go."

I know that Sebastian is right; I am starting to shed my former self faster than I would want to but - but to use Lizzie as bait to see how far I would go? I give up and stand to my feet, I side step Sebastian and walk over to Lizzie. She looks like a sleeping princess from one of the fairy tale stories Madam Red would read to us as children. I have nothing else for her, nothing to offer – I didn't want this to be the last thing she sees of me but at least I can go without a fuss.

"Good bye, Lizzie." Leaning over, I place my lips onto hers and then I stand again, regarding her kind, innocent beauty. I truly did love her, in my own way.

Walking past Sebastian, who holds the door open for me, I know that this will be the last time I see Elizabeth but I will always remember her, even if I lose every ounce of myself and become the demon I'm surely meant to be. I will remember you, Lizzie.

 

...

Walking back into the party, I can feel my annoyance and anger towards Sebastian start to wane. I don't know why but I feel lighter, cheerful and excited. Was this the thrill of the hunt.

Sebastian follows behind me as we weave in and out of the mingling crowds to find a good vantage point. I know what I am looking for, someone dark with a past I could exploit – after tasting the sweetness of Lizzie, I now hungered for something more dense and savory. Walking and scouring, I stop dead as I see her, causing Sebastian to nearly crash into me.

She is a little taller than I, long jet black hair with a bow on her head band, skin so white it looks like freshly fallen snow, full ruby red lips that never smile and crisp blue eyes with a withdrawn far away look. She wears a superb ebony ball gown with little pearl embellishments along the seams and the sleeves - her dress is so becoming, it compliments her dark features flawlessly. I have never seen anyone so beautiful in my whole life.

She is standing by a column looking more than a little disinterested in the conversation she is a part of. She glances over to me, as if she could sense me watching her – she bats her eyelashes as she smiles faintly, and then she turns away. Was she summoning me? Teasing me?

"Her dress is  _so_  cute." I mutter and instantly furrow my brow at that ridiculous remark. Why would I say that? Perhaps it was just nerves, even though I am the stronger being, looking at this girl makes me nervous.

"My Lord?"

"I chose her - I  _want_  her." I whisper over my shoulder to Sebastian.

"Excellent choice Master, I can smell her from here – intoxicating, isn't she?"

I don't bother to respond as I push people aside to get to her. I could smell her too, it was prevailing and exhilarating – it drew me to her like a pull from the chest. She's perfect; she looks as desperate and as sullen as me.

I approach her and press my back against the pillar, waiting for her to finish her conversation, not wishing to interrupt, as I want her full attention. I listen to her melodic voice, it's deep for a person her age – I can tell there was a darkness lurking behind it. Sebastian stood a distance away from me, watching me – I must be a sight, I am just simply enjoying listening to her speak. His eyes narrow on me, as I glance over at him – what was his problem? Was I doing something wrong?

No matter, I bow my head slightly and close my eyes in an effort to listen to her better but she seems to have stopped. Has she departed? No, I can still smell her pungent soul near me. Suddenly, I can feel a soft touch on the palm of my hands and I look over, there she is, leaning against the column and pulling me. I follow her as she leads me out into the hall.

"I've been watching you." She starts.

"Have you?" I titter.

She nods curtly and looks around, "Where's your little blond friend?"

"She wasn't to my taste." I smile, looking straight into her eyes – holding her gaze as instructed. She comes closer to me, I have a better opportunity to breathe her in, my mouth waters - if Lizzie was an appetizer, then this is the main course  _and_ dessert.

"What is to your taste then?" She seems to be seducing me; which is a wonderful change of pace to what Sebastian had taught me – I think I will just follow her lead.

"I think  _you_ would be more suited to my palate." I let the words roll off of my tongue, languid and purring. I can see her breath hitch in her chest as I move closer to her. "What's your name?" I ask her, pulling her over to the wall and leaning against her, my normally small figure would typically be no match of anyone but I was different now, stronger and more powerful. I nuzzle her throat as I inhale her decadence. I can feel her heart beating into my chest as I stand so close to her – I hold back my overwhelming desire to tear her apart and demolish her soul right here and now.

"My name is Alice, Alice du Bois – what's yours?" Her voice is like velvet as her breath brushes the fine hairs on my neck and falls over my shoulders.

"My name is of no consequence." I smile at her as I move away from her abruptly, what I want to do I know I can't do here. I take her hand and tighten my grip around it as I playfully drag her along the corridor and back outside to the moonlit courtyard.

She giggles as though she thinks that this was nothing more than a game – well it is to me Alice, and it's one I will win.


	4. Redrum

"Where are we going?" She asks me, still giggling – betraying her youth.

"To the courtyard, the moon is beautiful and full, I just want to see you under that light." Sebastian was right, the words flow out of me easily and freely – I was getting the hang of this after all. She didn't smile at all when I first saw her but ever since we came together, she hasn't stopped.

Giggling a little louder, Alice slips her other arm around the one holding her hand and hugs it as I lead her out. We both laugh and gleefully skip out into the courtyard, what a merry looking pair we must be.

There was something about her that drew out my faded adolescence, something so sweet but equally sour – bitter and tart. I wonder if it was her soul that took over, she had such a hold on me and I could smell her so vividly the back of my mouth started to salivate, I was famished.

Drawing her out and standing in the middle of the courtyard, I can still hear the stringed symphony emitting from the ball room, I flick her off of my arm and twirl her around in front of me, grabbing a hold of her waist I bring her close as I begin to dance with her. She chuckles lightly as she looks into my eyes – hers, a color of ice blue, pierce me.

"Why won't you tell me your name?"

I smile at her, "My name is Ciel."

"Ah, Ciel, Ciel…" She feels the letters on her tongue as she repeats my name.  _"Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…"_

"Why do you keep saying my name?"

"I'm calling you to me." Her voice is calm but thick with honeyed tones.  _God, she is alluring_.

"There's no need to call, I'm here."

" _Hmm._  I love the sounds of words forming in my mouth – you should try it."

I think for a moment, and then I try it, " _Alice, Alice, Alice_." It is nice, I think – well, nice enough. I let her name roll off my tongue with each inflection.

"There, you see, how did that feel?"

"Wonderful." I try and flash her my most charming smile, it must have worked because she reciprocates.

"You know, I can't remember the last time I was happy, truly happy."

"Really?" Well, neither can I.

She hums and nods as she presses her warm cheek against mine, I know my skin is ice cold but she doesn't flinch, she just holds it there, seemingly enjoying our closeness.

"May I be honest about something?" She poses.

"Of course." Who am I to say no? Especially, if she wishes to be confessional – I cannot give her absolution but I can listen.

"In this moment, right now, I am truly happy."

"I'm pleased."

She purrs to herself and I can feel the vibration in my chest. " _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel_ … Your name is beautiful, it means 'Sky' or 'Heaven', yes?"

"Yes."

"I prefer heaven." She coos.

"Why's that?"

"It's nicer, isn't it?"

There was something so distant about her; even though I held her so close to me she felt miles away – like she wasn't intended for this world. I feel like she wants me to chase her but I'm unsure if I'll ever be able to catch her. However, I will try to catch her, I am finding myself curiously drawn to her.

"So, you were watching me?" I conclude, she had mentioned it before but I didn't know what she meant.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I saw what you did to that blond girl earlier."

I stop – did she know what I was? What was she going to do? Was she a demon too? I couldn't smell that particular sweet and spicy aroma of a demon on her but then, I am only used to Sebastians' scent.

My mind races as I slowly back away, my eyes dart around the courtyard, looking for Sebastian, desperately trying to seek him out – I can't find him, where was he?

"Don't worry, that's what drew me to you." A wry smile etched on her tempting, pouting lips as if she knew she had spooked me. " _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel_ …" She spoke my name slowly and in such dulcet tones, it was disarming.

"I don't think I'll ever get to heaven Ciel." She continues. "They tend to frown upon suicide."

"Suicide?" I whisper aloud as I back up from her. With each step I take back, she advances towards me, slowly but steady – certain. Her cold, narrow eyes focus on mine.

"I watched you from the moment you arrived and I saw what you did to that little blond girl - I want you do to the same thing to me  _but_ … I don't want you to stop until you have finished your work."

"I-I don't understand."

"I think you do." Her smile was felicific but it didn't work on me, "I think you understand me perfectly. You see Ciel, I was seeking you out because you are my death."

The backs of my knees hit an ice-cold marble bench causing my legs to go weak and I fall back. My eyes still scan the area for Sebastian but he's nowhere to be seen. Was this another way to test my humanity?

Alice leans over me, her hands firmly planted on the tops of my thighs as she stares deeply into my eyes. Her ebony hair cascades over her milky white shoulders, her skin glitters under the moonlight as though it had never seen sun.

"Do it." She commands softly, almost whispered to me. "I want you to kill me.  _I need you to kill me_."

"Why?"

She is so close to my face now, I can smell her pungent soul permeating from her mouth as she breathes.

"If only you knew the life I have led – if only you knew the things that torment me, destroy me from within. I am not afraid – I'm ready." She pauses to examine my face. "You're doing me a favor."

 _The life that she lead? The things that torment her_? I doubt she has seen anything nearly close to what I have – has she?

"You don't want to die, trust me." The words flew out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop them. She was my target, my quarry and she was going to die today. Why would I try to have her appreciate her life now?

Moving off of me, Alice sits down beside me, her hands on mine as she looks towards me but her gaze is right past me.

"I thought you would understand. I thought that you were here to take me – to free me." She sounds quite stern but equally her voice was so fragile.

"I am here to take you but I cannot offer you any freedom. I can only offer you death."

"My death is my freedom."

Her words are resolute, poetic and powerful and they shoot through me like a bullet – I had in fact found a soul almost like mine. It was no wonder that Sebastian found her intoxicating right from the start; she seems as desperate and as broken as I must have been when he first laid eyes on me, when he found me as desperate as I found her.

I want to pity her, I have the lingering need to comfort her but I don't. I can feel that I no longer want to comfort this other human being, what I want… I want to tear her to pieces and rip out her soul. I want to wipe her blood from my chin and toss her emptied body to the floor.

"If that is what you wish, then I will grant you your freedom." I concede, I want,  _no_ , I need to have her.

Her eyes meet with mine for a second, and then she glances down.

"How will you do it?" She asks, not a trace of hesitation or fear in her alto voice.

"However you like. I can make this quick and painless or as gruesome and violent as you'd like." I speak to her in pleasant tones; this is the most frank conversation I have ever had about killing someone. Most of the time, when they come before me, I am unable to control myself, no words are spoken just their futile screams as I rip them apart – clawing at their chests and plunging my hands deep inside to squeeze their souls from their hearts. Now, I'm here, just talking to her as though we were having the most polite conversation about the weather.

"If it would suit you, make it quick." She states matter of fact. I am taken aback – was this what I was like when Sebastian came to me?

"Very well, I shall make it quick then. Before I do, I have to ask – why? Why do you want to die?"

"It is quite simple, really." She turns her face to mine, "I was never meant to live in the first place. Now, will you grant me my wish?" Her words were so guileless, so honest – I decide that I don't need to ask her any more questions; it was only to sate my morbid curiosity in any case. It's not as though I actually care.

Like a tiger, I pounce, swiftly swipe my hand from under hers and grab her by the elbow, pulling her close. My rosette eyes fixate on hers as I listen to her heart race – I don't think I will ever grow tired of hearing that rhythmic pulsating beat. It was as if everything has gone into slow motion as I can see her come towards me. Her hair wafts and floats around her face and her head. Her skin flushes and prickles, her body jerks and shudders, she moistens her lips as they part and she falls forward onto me. Using my other hand, I propel her into my chest and hold on to her tightly.

I kiss her, greedily and hungrily as I force her soul from within her. It tastes debauched and depraved - simply delicious, like the most savory tawny port. She doesn't fight me, she doesn't struggle, and she just collapses into my kiss. I can taste that she was haunted, that she has experienced so much. To honor this delicious meal, I savour her and let my eyes roll back into my head – sucking hard – drawing out every last flavorful drop she has to offer. Her body becomes limp and heavy, motionless and dead as I wring her dry.

It was like an enraptured hit to the skull, I feel exhilarated and alive. I let go of her lifeless body and it falls across my lap. I push the corpse off of me and watch as it tumbles to the ground. It is amazing and oh so satisfying.

I lean back into the bench as I absorb her soul within me; this is much different than before, better. Slaughtering someone held no value to me; it was messy and undesirable but this? This is marvelous. I hum to myself with pleased satisfaction as I sense someone is near.

"Well done young Master." His voice is warm and I can sense that he is smiling even though he approaches me from behind, was he proud of me? "How was she?"

"Wonderful." I reply with a droll smile. I hazily start to sit up, it was potent and I'm dizzy.

"I watched you the whole time. You looked quite adorable with her, like you were having fun."

" _Tch,_  fun? I did exactly as you taught me and nothing more." I scoff.

I look down on her dead body with such reverence, "Thank you Alice – I hope you found the freedom you were looking for." I smile as Sebastian collects her body from the ground. He looks at me curiously as I utter those words. I suppose they were indirectly aimed at him as well. Do not worry Sebastian, I will be true to my words, I will set you free.

As he carries her off, I watch her body bounce along as if she were simply asleep. She still looks quite beautiful, tranquil and dead.

...

 

I lazily slouch along my ruby red velvet chaise longue in my townhouse. Sebastian thought that it would be best to relocate here after the ball as the servants would still be at the manor and I could be alone to enjoy whatever high was left over from my dinner from the other night.

He wasn't wrong. I feel utterly useless at the moment as I lounge here, I feel so weak but in a pleasant way – bloated and satisfied. I sprawl out on the long flat surface; putting my right arm behind my head and letting my left dangle down to the ground I close my eyes and attempt to enjoy the silence. It had been two days since I demolished Alices' soul but the effects of her were still lingering on my palate.

I'm lost in thought but I'm not thinking of anything at all, my mind is completely blank. I can still hear Alices' melodic giggling ringing through my ears as loud as if she was sat beside me but she's not. I try to concentrate on something, anything else, but I can't. Her laughter, her voice, her words are within me - I can hear her so loud and clear. It was different than all the other times, I could quiet the screams of my other victims before and never hear them again but now, she just won't leave. I groan in displeasure –  _please go away Alice._  Was this residual guilt?

Whatever it is, it's clear - she's haunting me.

"Young Master, are you all right?" Sebastian stands beside me; I can feel the fabric of his trousers brush past my left hand. We're alone but still, still he calls me that.

"It's nothing." I sigh. I let my hand touch the fabric of his trousers, just above his knee, feeling the texture underneath my fingertips and Alice seems to have quieted down now.  _Thank you_.

"How do you feel?" He questions me; I only open my left eye, out of habit. I watch him looking down on me, a wry smile etched on his lips as I pull on his leg, dragging him down to his knees in front of me. I have become remarkably strong over the last few weeks, much to my amusement and to his displeasure.

I have yet to over power Sebastian but I do try. We train daily to help me get used to my newfound strength and he doesn't topple me as easily as he used to. I think he can sense it; the balance of power is shifting. I am no longer a sad, desperate little child that he has to look after, watch and guard. I think that even though he resents me as a demon, I resent him for failing – he failed to uphold his end of our contact, he failed to protect me and he failed to save me. If anyone is going to be bitter here Sebastian, it's me.

"How do I feel? I feel more alive than I do dead." I stare at him. His face is unwavering as he stares back at me, it was soft but stoic as he tries to get a read of my purposefully blank expression.

"Sebastian, you want to leave me don't you?" I ask plainly.

"That was the deal of our renewed contract."

"When do you want to leave?"

"As soon as my young Master feels able enough to live on his own."

I hum an acknowledgement at his reply, it was as expected. I close my eyes again and tilt my head towards the ceiling.

"What if I told you I was able to now?" I let go of the fabric and trail my fingers down his thigh and back to my stomach, resting them there.

"I don't believe you are ready yet my lord." He spoke quite earnestly, I open my eyes again but I don't want to look at him, I didn't expect him to say that to me, I thought he would be glad to be rid of me - finally.

"What more do you have to teach me?"

Sebastian ignores me and stands up, moving away from me he goes to the window to draw the drapes; I guess it must be getting late.

"I'm going to draw your bath now."

I roll my head over to him; I can't help but be dumbfounded by his behavior.

"I don't feel like a bath now." I start to sit up, pulling at the back of the chaise long to lift myself up. I look over at him as he pulls on the cords of the tiebacks, releasing the drapes and shaking them out to ensure no outside light can come in through the gaps. "Furthermore, there are no servants here, there's no one – you do not need to be my butler here." He ignores me again – this is becoming quite an annoying little habit.

"You've had a long day today – you will need to relax. Which is why I am going to draw you a bath." He says as he leaves the room.

Perplexed, I glare at him as he leaves. I am aware that his style of teaching has actually been to torture me – I have half a mind to torment him in return but what would that serve? I feel less and less attached to him as the weeks go on; I have come to depend on him less and less.

I can do many things on my own now, such as draw my own bath, I can even dress myself – which may not seem like a big deal to some but it is to me. Still, even though I can now do all of these things for myself, he still continues to do them, he keeps pushing me to be more adult and a better demon but in the same notion he keeps infantilizing me.

Most interestingly, he doesn't push for me to release him. He must know that he still here out of mutual resentment. Was he still here to absolve for the current state that I am in? Does he pity me? Possibly not, we no longer have the capacity to care for such trivial things such as pity, not to mention that my hatred of him has started to subside, surely he can sense that.

I can't hate him any more than I hate myself for being this way. I came seeking death, just like Alice had but unlike her, I am cursed to live forever. She was fortunate, her death did in fact give her her freedom. I understand Alice so much more now, she got to be free – Sebastian is fortunate as well, he will eventually be free. Me? Well I get to watch my life disappear and die right before my eyes – just as I'd seen three years ago when they burnt down my home, when they killed my parents – I get to relive my life over and over again. This is entirely your fault Sebastian – you failed me. Still, I can't seem to let him go. Was this sentimentality or familiarity? I don't know – I can't help but keep fighting with myself over this.

We are in darkness and we are bound. Sebastian and I are bound together in the darkness, never wishing to seek out the light, but hand in hand together for all eternity. I know he won't admit this to himself but I think he needs me as much as I need him – but there is a problem, even though I can't seem to let him go, I no longer need him and I think he knows it. However, here we are, attached, stuck still relying on one another. Which one of us will release the other, I wonder. Which one of us will pull the trigger to this loaded gun?

" _Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian.._." I say silently to myself in my empty room, I feel the syllables and letters drip off of my tongue, now  _that_ , feels better.

"Yes my lord?" Of course, he hears me; he stands beside me – just appearing from nowhere.

I wave him off. "Nothing. It was nothing."

I hope I'm the first to pull the trigger.


	5. Lost

' _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…_ '

Please go away.

' _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…_ '

She's here, I can feel her, and I can smell the perfume of her skin, the warmth of her cheek as it presses against me. Her thoughts are my thoughts as I hear her utter my name, constantly, repetitively – she is unyielding and will not let me go.

' _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…_ '

Deep within me, she's in me; I can feel her, penetrating and clawing at my psyche. Tugging, pulling, ripping and wrenching me apart from the inside.

' _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…_ '

Please Alice, please leave me. I did what you asked, I gave you your freedom now just give me mine.

Suddenly, she's quiet and finally silence descends upon the room.

I lay here, motionless and numb. It has been six months since I turned and now everything has been put into place for my death. I sent Sebastian out to deliver the news to my so-called friends and my family; he added the elegant touch of giving them each the gift of candy, as it was one of my favorite human vices, something to remember me by.

Everything is prepared for my human demise, I have changed my will, given the servants Phantomhive manor, the townhouse will be sold, my family ring has been gifted to Lizzie, Funtom has been moved into the charge of a factious holding company that I will still control – except I will be using a proxy for the time being. I've also stipulated that I do not want a funeral – that was mischievous foreshadowing on my part – why have a funeral when there won't be a body to bury? In any case, there is nothing left for me here anymore, Sebastian took care of all of that and I can now 'die' in peace.

Pulling the sheets up to my chin, I snuggle in deeper, taking a moment to enjoy this time alone. It's boring. I decide that it's time to get up; I can see the sunlight find its way through the cracks in the drapes and spill over everything in my empty, packed up room. I don't know why I bother to keep up the pretense of sleep; ever since I changed I never need to. I never feel tired or exhausted but now I just lay here, awake and being tormented by the melodic voice of Alice constantly calling my name.

Sitting up in bed, I stretch out, I can feel my bones and muscles snap into place and start to work. Yesterday was another training day as I've learned to become much stronger. I can now command with my voice, my touch can now tantalize and even though this body is young, I hold so much power within me that I have even started to frighten myself – it was exhilarating – I am now a demon.

Getting out of bed, I walk over to my wardrobe, which holds only one outfit, as I wasn't intending to stay here in this townhouse for too much longer. I take it out, tossing it onto the bed and as I start to walk towards it, I unbutton my nightshirt – preparing to dress myself. He's back, I can smell him. I've grown accustomed to his familiar scent and I can sense his presence a mile away.

"Can I help you with anything my lord?" Sebastian asks as he appears in the doorway. He leans against it with smug smile as he crosses his arms, watching me.

"No. I can dress myself just fine thank you." I shrug. Even though, in my mind, our newly revised contract is now coming to an end, Sebastian still hasn't mentioned anything about our deal. I am more than surprised by this as his treatment of me hasn't changed – his disdain for me hasn't either.

I know I'm like a bitter taste in his mouth – one he cannot seem to get rid of but still, he hasn't killed me so I suppose this is what they would call progress.

Although in this time, he has slowly started to stop being more of my butler and more of, well, I don't know what to call us – our mutual distaste for one another doesn't exactly make us friends but here we are. We train together; hunt together and more often than not, we kill together.

Sliding my black wool breeches up and around my waist, I tuck in my white shirttails and fasten the waistband around me. I gaze over the rest of the ensemble, thinking to myself, waistcoat, no waistcoat – waistcoat. Picking it up, I slip it on over my lithe frame and quickly button it. Reaching down for my ribbon tie, I can't find it – I'm pretty sure it was just sitting here. Sebastian holds out his hand with my tie dangling in his fingers and smiles. He moves so swiftly, it's impressive. Slowly moving towards me, he stops in front of me, reaches out and lifts up my collar. Gliding the ribbon around my throat, he starts to tie my tie. I frown at this notion as he only lets me get so far and then he takes the rest from me – as if I still need to be coddled. I don't but I don't hate the familiarity of the routine either.

I realize that I will miss him, the camaraderie, the acquaintance and the company. I have been thinking about this a lot over the last few months and I believe that I am ready to say good-bye. As I let my mind become pre-occupied with this current thought, I look up at him, his face seems worried – almost sad – this is amusing.

"Well, spit it out." I demand as I know there is something weighing on his mind.

"My lord, I know you didn't want a funeral but the Marchioness has decided to override your wishes and is holding a memorial service for you." He sighed heavily.

"She what?" I huff and stare back at him, trying to read his facial expression.

"When I went to deliver the news, she demanded that we had one as it was only proper – you were an Earl after all."

I move over to my bed and sit down. I pause for a moment and then continue to finish dressing, grabbing a sock from next to me and pulling it over my foot.

"Typical Aunt Francis  _– honestly_." I exhale as I start to pull my socks up underneath my knee.

"She's also asked me to give the eulogy because she said that I was the closest person to you." Sebastian couldn't help but let his face show how completely charmed he was by the whole thing.

Groaning loudly, I throw myself back onto the bed, my hands covering my eyes as I try to process all of this. The weight on the bed starts to shift as Sebastian leans over me, pulling my hands from my face.

"Don't worry; I'll say wonderful things about you my lord." His grin was something the Cheshire cat would be proud to boast.

"I don't doubt that." I push him off of me; he stands to his feet and straightens out his tailcoat. I sit up, sharply; the motion causes Sebastian to step back a bit. "I want to go." I announce.

"My lord?"

"To my funeral, I want to go."

 

...

 

Southwark Cathedral is beautifully decorated in my favorite white roses. It is absolutely elegant as they have lined the rows of pews and the pulpit. As there was no body, Aunt Francis has opted for a simple floral display of white roses and white calla lilies on an exquisitely laid out table, the most striking thing on that table being the massive silver cross that sat just behind the flowers and the two matching candle sticks on either side.

It was strange to be in this house of God when I was one of the things that the devoted despise – a soulless demon, evil itself – or that's at least what I like to believe I am now. Still, it was comforting to be here, sat by myself in the back corner pew. It was dark here as all the light that poured in through the stained glass windows was concentrated at the altar – not a lot of work had gone into the back so I was sat quietly in the shadows. I wonder, just how many Phantomhives have been memorialized in this church? I am the last – the name dies with me.

I had to disguise myself, for obvious reasons, so I was wearing a black top hat with laced tulle that draped over my head and face but I could still see out. Sebastian was at the front having his life squeezed out of him by a wailing Prince Soma. I chuckle as I see his servant Angi struggle in his attempt to peel him off of him. I half expected Soma to gnash his teeth and render his garments, as they would have done in biblical times but, alas, no such luck as Angi managed to get a firm grip on his lord and yank him off.

I continue to look around the room and my eyes land on Lizzie; she sits so still and lifeless, almost just as I'd left her several months before. She is sitting in the front pews alone, even her maid Paula was not with her, but sat in the row directly behind her. I could see the sadness in her once illuminated green eyes – now they looked very dull. She was wearing my ring on her black-gloved left ring finger, it suited her so well. Aunt Francis who was also sitting right behind Lizzie was stoically shedding a tear or two – no doubt because I was the very last of the Phantomhive name, especially as she was now a Midford and the remains of her brother – whom she never spoke about after his death – are now being buried. She would never show or speak of it but I think my fathers' death had a profound effect on her. She was always a stern woman but when her brother died, I think a part of her died too.

This must be what it's like for Lizzie.

Sebastian is right, her part in my relatively short life will be nothing more than a distant memory to me and in the future she'll be fine, she'll forget about me soon enough. She'll grow up, become betrothed to someone else, marry that someone else and bear his children. Her mind will be preoccupied with the thoughts of her new life and her new family and I will just be nothing more than a distant memory. At least I can take some kind of solace in that.

Sebastian went over to the pulpit to give his eulogy. He refused to share any of it with me as he wanted it to be a surprise when I first heard it but surely even he must have realized that I wouldn't be giving it my full attention. I would just be watching everyone's' reactions, I was quite sure that this place would be filled with nothing more than people who wanted to prove to themselves that I was actually dead. No such luck, the people here seem genuinely saddened by their loss – it was pathetic. One of the things I realized is that death is an inevitable part of life and there is nothing you can do to stop it or prolong it. I knew that from the moment the fire engulfed the manor – I knew that death was always in my future.

" _Well now_ , fancy meeting you here."

"What are you doing here?" I hiss under my breath not bothering to turn to him.

"I could say the same of you." He replied drolly.

"This is my funeral."

"And I've come to pay my respects. Although, I can't say that I'm not disappointed you haven't actually died – after all, I had a coffin made up especially for you. You would have liked it." Undertaker giggles lightly to himself. I can't say that I understand him or his eccentricities but he has been kind to me in the past.

"Will you miss me?" I smile dryly at him, even though I know he can't see my face.

"Possibly, you've provided me with endless hours of entertainment. Well, you and your butler. I wonder – what's going to become of him once you're gone?"

I turn to him, "He'll do what he's always done and move on. I imagine it would be the same had he have taken my soul. What a ridiculous thing to ponder over." I scoff. I never knew how but Undertaker was always either keenly perceptive or incredibly well connected in the underworld to know most of my secrets and especially of my new deal with Sebastian. Even though he was thoroughly obnoxious, he could see things that others couldn't – always one step ahead.

Undertaker puts his hand on my knee and lightly taps it as if trying to console me, for whatever reason – I'm not even the slightest bit upset.

"I warned you. I warned you not to give away your soul and look what's happened to you." He was quite serious, something I had never seen before, his face didn't budge as he kept his head and his eyes forward. "I knew – I knew all along but it was too late for you I suppose." He seems to be thinking aloud as he whispered that final thought. I can't help but shrug.

"I'm not going to say that this was what I wanted, I would have much rather have been buried in one of your coffins but I made my deal and sealed my fate."

"You wanted to become a demon?"

"No – this fate was chosen for me. Completely taken out of my hands."

Undertaker hummed at my response. "I suppose it always was." He moved his hand from my knee and to his chin.

"What do you mean by that?"

"What? Oh, nothing really – it's just that in a way, you were always a little like him." He nods his head towards Sebastian. "So, I suppose this was always meant to be your fate – whether you realized it or not." He stops, contemplating something but he wasn't about to let me in on it. Instead we both sat in silence as we watched my former butler give the eulogy of a lifetime – my lifetime at least.

Perhaps Undertaker was right; perhaps I was fated to be a demon. I don't know, it was never anything I wished to dwell on, especially over these last six months. Whatever, it doesn't actually matter, I don't believe in fate or destiny in any case. What good is free will when you have fate and what good is fate when you have free will – what good is either when you don't have the power to control neither?

_'Ciel, Ciel, Ciel...'_

Not now Alice, please.

Whenever I think of fate or free will, my thoughts often return to Alice – she took both into her small hands and was able to control it – she chose her destiny by using her free will – she chose me and by choosing me, she chose death. I admire her for that, perhaps that's why she's still with me? It doesn't matter. As I sit here and listen to Sebastian pontificate about a life that was meant to be mine but didn't sound anything at all like it – I couldn't help but feel lost. Once again, I have no home to go to, no place to be and not much to look forward to. As I sit here thinking about what I no longer have, I also realize that there is something I was going to have to add to my list. I am now going to be alone as I want to release Sebastian from our contract.

This memorial service marks the end of my transition from my old life into my new one and I am ready to do it alone.

At the end of the memorial, I stand aside in the shadows and watch the people from my past approach and console Sebastian, my ever-dutiful butler. He is brilliant, quite the actor, I must say. He feigns sadness better than the actual mourners as each of them come over to pay their respects. I overhear someone actually offer him a job – to which he politely declines. Everyone once and a while, I see him look over towards me – was he checking up on me? Making sure I was alright? What a ridiculous notion.

Undertaker, who had stayed beside me throughout the whole service giggles quietly to himself as he watches the servants openly weep and hug him tightly.

"They were always like this, even when I wasn't dead." I snort as Angi pulls yet another person off of Sebastian.

"Well, I must be off – I put this whole shindig together for your Aunt you know. Now I have to take it down and over to your empty grave."

"Can I see it?"

"Your grave?"

"Yes."

" _Fufufu_ , how morbidly maudlin. Unfortunately not, you see it's at the former Phantomhive manor and you're supposed to be dead."

Ah, yes that's right – I'm supposed to be dead now.

...

 

"America?"

"Yes."

"Why can't just I stay in London?" I pout, lying down on my bed, flat out on my back. I cover my face with my pillow as, on occasion; I still like to behave like a child.

"Because my lord, you have died now – what if you were still around and possibly spotted then what would all of this have been for?"

"Fine but why not some place in Europe? Like Paris?" I suggest – well, I do speak French; it seems like the most natural place to be.

Sebastian leans over me and pulls the pillow from me. I can see his smile, bright and exuberant, he already has a place in mind.

"I heard there is a place in America that is full of sin and debauchery, I think that would be a perfect place for us to start anew." I sit up instantly.

"Us?"

"Of course, you don't think that I would let you do this on your own do you?"

"Well, yes." I pause for a moment. "Sebastian, don't you think it's time that I release you? You have upheld your end of our contract and I can now live successfully without you."

"I don't think you're ready yet." He has said this so many times to me over the last few months I feel like it's starting to lose it's meaning.

"If it's about your sense of responsibility for me being in this state-"

"Is that what you think?" He seems almost offended. I can feel him staring at me but I don't want to look at him. This whole situation was confusing to say the least.

"Isn't it why you're still here?"

"No." He sighed.

"Then what is it? You have done nothing but torture and torment me from the moment I turned and I'm now saying that you're free to leave me. You are free Sebastian – I release you from our contract." I try to reiterate as firmly as I can.

Sebastian simply stands and walks towards the middle of the room and suddenly stops.

" _Hm._  You must not mean it." He said resolutely.

"What do you mean? Of course I do."

He smirks wryly as he starts to take off his gloves. I watch him as he does this, pulling them off of his long slender fingers and looking at the back of his left hand. Holding it up, he reveals that our contract is still intact. "If you want me to be free, you have to mean it." He says solemnly.

Walking towards the door, he halts for a moment, "I will make all of the necessary arrangements and we can set sail for New Orleans tomorrow." He drums the fingers of his left hand on the doorframe as he leaves the room. I watch him leave, my eyes never deviating from the door.

I thought I did mean it.


	6. Si dur d'etre seul

It has been several weeks since we set sail towards America. Sebastian very quickly took care off all of the arrangements for us; I didn't have to lift a finger not that I had to or wouldn't have wanted to help out. Not that it matters now, I'm sat on the bed attempting to read a book in my cabin and I am alone. I feel cramped, confined, and caged, even though it is the largest cabin on this ship, but I haven't left the room and the walls are starting to cave in on me.

It was my choice to lock myself up – I haven't fed since we left Liverpool and I'm starving. When I'm like this, I don't trust myself around others, especially as if I were to feed, the ship would be a passenger down and that would raise suspicions. I don't have the patient resolve that Sebastian has to wait.  _Hmm,_   _Sebastian…_

I haven't spoken to Sebastian since we set sail from Liverpool, the train ride up was silent and the current journey is mute. Getting our own separate cabins was a stroke of genius on his part because if I had to lay eyes on him I would just as soon rip his head off – and I'm very sure the sentiment is mutual. It has become abundantly clear that he still blames me for not being able to release him from our current contract – despite the fact that since then, I have declared his freedom – both aloud and silently to myself, however, with each attempt, the results are the same.

Perhaps I should try again.

Putting the book down, I slide off of the bed and walk over to the dressing table. I place my palms flat down amongst the accoutrements that I brought along, causing some to fall over. I stare at myself hard in the mirror; my eyes have changed over to the glistening demonic version that I have become so accustomed to. I blink and change them back to blue – with my contract seal still blazed onto my right eye. I try to concentrate; I focus on breaking this seal and the contract that binds us.

' _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…_ '

Damn it, not now Alice – let me focus, I need to focus. She still invades my thoughts, holding my mind prisoner.

' _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…_ '

I hear her loudly and I claw at the wood beneath my fingers in frustration.

' _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…_ '

Alice – go away!

' _No._ '

What?

She laughs, her mocking trill a melody that I enjoyed when I first met her but currently it feels like a curse, something I am forced to endure whenever she takes over. I'm angry now, I want her to leave me be – I need to focus; I need, I need…  _what do I need_?

I grab one of the crystal objects from off of the dressing table and with a frustrated guttural shout; I throw it at the mirror. The shards fall like glittering raindrops over the tabletop and onto the floor. I clutch some of the remnants in my hand, squeezing them tightly. I feel each blade of glass pierce my flesh and I can smell the rich fragrance of iron and my blood starts to pour out. Give me my mind back. My body involuntarily shakes and quivers as though I'm going to cry – but of course, I can't.

' _Call him_.' She instructs as though she knows that he is exactly what I need in this moment in time.

" _Sebastian…_ " I whisper, my knees go weak from the pain in my hands and I slump over, crashing down to the ground amongst the broken glass.

"What on Earth have you done to yourself my lord?" He purrs, although his voice is devoid of any emotion or concern. He tries to help me up but I swat him away, this much, I can do myself.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss as I struggle to my feet amongst the broken glass. Sebastian sits down on the chair next to the bed; he crosses his legs and folds his arms as he watches me struggle.

"You called me young master – and with that, I came." He speaks smoothly, and I glance over at him to catch his raised eyebrow. I must look pathetic to him as I finally get up to my feet and stumble over to the bed. I sit down with my back to him and I look down at my hands – not a scratch, I heal so quickly now.

Moments go by and we don't say anything to each other at all. I did in fact call him but I don't know what to say, he came to me but he can't say anything either. The uncomfortable silence envelopes the room like a snug blanket on a cold winter's day.

"After the funeral, I could smell him on you." Sebastian began. I smile to myself as I know exactly who he's speaking about.

"Who?" I reply innocently.

"You know exactly who. Do not play games with me; I'm not in the mood." He says firmly, when has he ever been  _in the mood_  lately?

"What does it matter? He sat next to me, kept me company, said I was like you even before I had died." I ramble as I examine my hands again. Even when I was alive, Sebastian loathed Undertaker – all of the reapers to be precise. He found them to be cumbersome, nosy and obnoxious. However, when it came down to Undertaker, he disliked him the most – he knew of Undertakers warning to me about my soul, Sebastian was stood right there. "Why would you care anyway?"

"Do not mistake my question as concern – I don't care, not in the slightest but you should be weary of him. That man lives in the underworld and he does not do anything without motive."

Motive? What would his motive be, I wonder.

"He didn't appear to have any motive, as you put it, he just seemed sad for me." That was the truth. All Undertaker did was sit next to me, he patted my knee, he sighed and he said that he knew. At first I thought he was comforting me but I think he was really just sad that this was how I ended up, he must have seen this with my predecessor and all the Phantomhives before that as death lurked behind each of our corners – waiting to snatch us into the night.

"He seemed sad for you?" Sebastian snorts, which causes the fine hairs on my neck to stand on end – as if someone pitying me was such a bad thing.

"Truth be told, I think he did you know. I feel bad for me too."

"Oh?"

"I told him that I would have preferred to have been buried in one of his coffins and not to be like this." I sigh, leaning back onto my elbows on the bed. It's strange, this is the first time we'd spoken to each other in the last month and this is what we decide to talk about. Motive? What is he trying to get out of me anyway – my conversation with Undertaker was perfectly innocent and if he didn't care then what was this all about?

"Would you rather be dead?" He asks coldly. What? Does he now think that I've been done some sort of favor? I can hear him shift in the chair, each ruffle of fabric echoes clearly in my ears.

"You know I would." I spit, "I hate being a demon, I hate having to have left my home, my family and my life. I'm locked up in this room because I can't control myself and I hate the voices that constantly haunt me – what kind of eternity is this for me?" I bark, sitting upright again and folding my arms tightly against my chest. In truth, I don't really care either way – to be dead or to be a demon, I'm not bothered either way – I feel like I should be but what bothers me the most is the fact that I had to leave everything behind. If I were dead, actually dead, this wouldn't have been a problem – I wouldn't have had to watch my life go on without me.

Sebastian is stood in front of me in an instant; placing his hands on the tops of my knees, he kneels down in between my legs and stares at me. Is he trying to comfort me? For someone who couldn't care less about my existence, he is being quite abhorrent with the amount of feigned pity he doles out when he feels like it. I still realize that I am upset at the notion of still being alive; I thought this feeling would have gone, wasted away just like my humanity but no such luck. Every time I look at him, the hatred resurfaces, like right now.

" _Why…?_ " The word comes out in shaky tones.

"My lord?"

"Why didn't you take my soul when you had the chance?" I ask. I know we have been through this time and time again but I needed to hear it once more, I felt like there was something missing.

"I've told you before."

"Well tell me again. Tell me until I tire of hearing it." I demand. Sebastian rolls his eyes and sighs as though the weight of the world was pressing on his chest.

"You knew that I couldn't – because the arm that had our contract seal was temporarily missing."

"You told me that demons don't need a contract to take a soul – just as I took Alices' and everyone else's." This still doesn't seem right to me somehow – seal or no seal, he could have taken my soul.

"Well, before I had the chance, Claude had used the opportunity of my missing arm to take your soul from me."

"What happened to my soul?" He could have taken my soul at any time after that.

"Claude took it and hid it from me. Everything I've done from then on was to get it back."

"But once you did."

"Once I did, I gave it back to you but it seemed that you had lost your memories, especially the one where you had in fact achieved your revenge."

"Again, why didn't you take my soul when you had the chance? You knew that I had realized my revenge, you knew what had happened to me – if you took my soul – you could have prevented this, all of this from happening and you could have been free."

There it was – glaring at me in the face – so clear it was transparent, I figured it out, I didn't notice it until now but…

"You…  _lied_  to me." I spit, leaping to my feet, knocking him over. I stand above him with my fists balled tightly. It seems my knight has played me as a pawn all along. "I asked only three things of you: that you protect me and never betray me, that you obey my orders unconditionally and that you never lie – you've broken each of those orders. I ordered you to take my soul - you didn't, you were to protect me - you didn't and you were never to lie to me – you did!"

"And how did I lie to you?" He seems amused by this.

" _Alois_!" I hiss. "You lied about my revenge! You made me believe that the Earl Trancy killed my parents – you knew the truth all along – you manipulated me and you betrayed me!" I am hysterical at this point, fuming at being treated like a fool this whole time. I grab the closest thing to me; the book that I was reading which still lay on the bed. I hurl the book at him in anger, he just swats it away and looks at me with a distant, stony look on his face – it was almost as though he couldn't care less, in fact,  _I know_  he couldn't care less. What more could I have expected from a demon?

' _I tried to tell you… all along… remember?_ ' Those words, I hear them – the words…  _the voice_ … it's different from Alice, it's strange and yet very familiar. I grip my head, pressing my palms to my temples and squeezing it tightly as I try to remember, my mind searches but it cannot find that thought.

"I wanted you to realize your revenge." Sebastian starts to stand up and he moves towards me.

"I already had." I pause, " _Tch_. So this is what you meant about cultivating my soul – if I hadn't remembered that I got my revenge, then what good was my soul it to you? I thought that I hadn't and you made me re-exact my revenge – well, I wonder what that would have tasted like?  _You're no better than Claude - you both were like vultures. You disgust me!_ " I am spitting venom now.

Within a second, he is on me, pinning me down to the ground. I can feel my shoulders starting to dislocate under the weight of his pressure. Wrapping my small hands around his wrists I burrow my blackened nails into them, clawing and digging until his blood drips out and runs down onto my shoulders. Focusing my strength, I manage to pull his hands off of me and I throw him back against the dresser, causing him to land on the broken shards of mirror. Before he can move, I'm on him like a shot, using my forearm to hold him down by his throat. There is a full bottle of Claret that has fallen on its side during the tussle, I take it by the neck and smash the body against corner of the dresser, the wine spilled over the floor like a blood bath – there soon will be.

Gripping it tightly, I hold the neck and angle the jagged edges towards his chest underneath me. Can I kill him? Is it possible to kill him? He senses my hesitation and launches me back. I fly up and over the bed, hitting the wall and sliding down it, off of the bed and onto the floor. I struggle to open my eyes, when I do; I see his shoes – freshly polished - black and shiny. Perhaps he's going to kill me now? Fine – do it and make it quick.

I don't even struggle to get up and I don't bother to move. He pulls at my shirt, hauling me to my feet with one hand and heaving me back onto the bed. My body flops over like a rag doll, as I feel dazed from the excursion.

"You're weak." He says bluntly as he crawls onto the bed and hovers on top of me, his left hand pressing against my bruised clavicle, causing me to wince in pain and his right hand in on my chest, holding me down. "I could kill you right now." He growls, staring at me straight in the eyes – unflinching.

"Then do it." I snidely retort, "you want to don't you?" I take his hands from the top of my chest and clavicle; I place them on my throat, "erase my wretched existence." I press my fingers into his, pushing into my thorax, "it's what I deserve, isn't it?" I lay still as his hands tighten their grip onto my throat, his thumbs massage my Adams apple – _finally_  – he's going to end things.

Instead, he backs off of me, dismounting and standing by the bed. He straightens down his waistcoat; smoothing the wrinkles of his coat and running his hands through his inky black hair. I roll my head over towards him as I silently curse him for letting me live. His eyes narrow as they fixate on mine and weary smile crawls over his lips, "Killing you now would be a wasted effort." He snorts.

I roll my head back up to look at the ceiling as he turns and walks towards the door.

"Sebastian." I call out, still looking up; I hear his footsteps as they stop. "I will try and find a way to break this contract once we get to New Orleans. I promise – and I don't lie."

He chuckles a little under his breath.

"Since I met you my lord, all you've ever done is lie." His voice is cloying and sweet as he walks out of the door, gently closing it behind him

Undertaker was right; I am no better than him.

 

...

 

We finally arrive in New Orleans – this place is, well, crowded. Seemingly much more crowded than London to say the least. There is a whole mixture of different people; languages and cultures all huddled together in one port. I can hear the rich sounds of brass instruments being played along the dockside and smell something that is almost akin to curry being cooked in nearby restaurants. The French influence is heavy and can be seen throughout, as there is a light Provençal touch to everything. Even the clothing is different. Not the somber dark tones of England but light and airy lavenders and yellows – Lizzie would love a dress from here.

Stepping down the jetty to the dock I can see that Sebastian has already beaten me to it, my luggage has already found its way off of the ship on onto a carriage and I make my way over.

"Prendete noi lì per favore?" He asks the driver in what I think is Italian – never my strong suit but his accent is impeccable, he sounds native. The man looks at the map Sebastian is holding, nods and mutters ' _Si, si_.' as I approach. Sebastian opens the door to the carriage and helps me in; he then comes in and sits opposite me.

We haven't actually spoken since the other week when I thought he would kill me. I have been racking my brain to think of ways we can get out of our contract as, I think now, our grudge towards one another will come to one of our ends and I get the sinking suspicion that it could be mine. Still, we can't go on like this any further; he is, until I can sort this out, my companion for the time being. Even though I no longer trust him. Sebastian is someone I entrust my life to and unbeknown to me, he was the one thing that I should have never trusted at all. However, I need to make the best of this situation.

"Where are we going?" I sigh, I may as well be the first to break the silence but I'll be even more damned if I look at him whilst I do it so I keep my head looking out of the window.

"I found a rather nice hotel to stay at until I can find someplace for us to live. Which would you prefer a town house or a plantation?"

"Plantation?" I have never heard of that word before. "If it's as big as the manor in England then I would really rather stay in a townhouse." I don't think I wish to repeat the same lifestyle I had back in England – in fact, I know I don't – that me has died along with the image.

"Townhouse it is then." Sebastians' voice was different now, it seemed cheery – why the sudden change from wanting my death to now?

"Why are you so happy?"

"Oh, it's nothing really – I think it's this place." I assume he's smiling as I still refuse to look at him.

"What is it about this place that makes you happy?"

"Well, they say in New Orleans, sin is in."

I huff aloud. What a crude and vulgar thought but still – a happy Sebastian is a less menacing Sebastian and I may be able to live another day.

Looking out of the window, I think I am suitably impressed with New Orleans, it is much different than London but not something I couldn't get used to and if I'm going to spend my time, however long that may be, here then I want to explore. Everything looks so rich and vibrant; there are side streets and cafes, women with large hats and bustles and men with tight fitting waistcoats and top hats. I stare at them as though I have never seen humans before but they are a sight to see - like brightly colored marionettes.

We pull up outside a massive two storey Antebellum home. It is very reminiscent of Victorian architecture and for only a moment, I miss London. Sebastian helps me out of the carriage and we both walk into the magnificent hotel. Beautiful white columns are decorated throughout, ornate chandeliers hang above and a floor of perfectly shined black marble. I can see why Sebastian chose this place; it is ostentatious yet impressively elegant.

I wait aside one of the columns as Sebastian gets the keys to our rooms and a porter brings in our luggage. Keys in hand, we are escorted to our rooms. I can't help but be thoroughly anxious and excited about our stay here, I've only ever been to Paris – this, this was thrilling, I couldn't wait to go out and explore, to search and to uncover all of what this town has to offer.

Sebastian opens the door to my room and I walk in.

The room is discerningly decorated, almost like it was done to suit my tastes. Dark wooden walls and furniture throughout, a large mahogany desk to the right, a large bed with navy blue and white sheets and duvet – even the drapes seem vaguely familiar, they are similar to the brocade midnight blue drapes that I had back at the manor. To top it all off, to the right of the bed, there is a large vase full of white roses. Walking over to it, I realize that Sebastian has recreated the best aspects of my old home.

I touch the soft petals of the roses and try to stifle the charmed smile that was aching to be drawn on my lips.

"Why?" That was the only thing I could think to say.

"I thought that you would take your new life better if you felt at home." He shrugged.

I hum at his reply.

"How?"

"I have connections."

"Thank you." I didn't know what else to say.

"Also, you had a birthday my lord, before we left, you turned fourteen. Many happy returns." He smiles; I suppose I'm not the only one with lingering sentimentality. With my actual death and fictitious funeral I just forgot – these things mean nothing to me now and they will continue to mean nothing in the future. He takes my luggage from the middle of the room and starts to move them to the side. "You must be tired, you should get some rest." He suggests as he opens one of my luggage trunks and starts to unpack.

I turn to him, plucking a petal from one of the rose heads and rubbing it firmly between my thumb and index finger to release the oils and revealing its scent.

"I'm not tired." I state plainly, he doesn't pay any attention as he just sets about unpacking my things.

"What are you then?"

"I'm hungry." My voice is firm as I lean against the table, smelling the crushed petal.

"Are you now?" I can see him smile broadly.

"Well, you said that in New Orleans sin is in – let's see how messy we can get."

Well, I am a demon after all.


	7. Mauvaise âme

The sun is so bright; the rays blind me as I turn down the busy street corner and onto a quiet side street. I love to walk around outside – this is a new found freedom that I have never experienced before and I am smitten with the feeling. I have never had the familiarity of any area to walk around unaccompanied before and this town excites me.

Every turn of the corner leads me onto to something different, something new. Vibrantly colored wooden buildings stacked on top of one another with massive archways that turn into balconies. Rows and rows of these buildings packed full of shops; shoe shops, bookshops, hat shops and green grocers. I enjoy passing the shops as these streets always serve as a pulse to the town, coursing the lifeblood throughout. Children are laughing and playing, there is music leaking out of every pub and bar and the fragrant spicy smell of Cajun cuisine is ubiquitous

Horse drawn carriages clamor and clack over the rough cobbled pavements, there are so many different languages spoken, so many immigrants with more coming in by the day from the port - each bringing new ideas and their various cultures to this wonderful melting pot.

I love it here, I find that I am so happy that I could skip along these cobbled roads and narrow side streets and never be bored. I love it all and I love the fact that I am alone.

Sebastian never comes with me when I explore the town – it isn't that he doesn't want to, I don't want him to. I want him to stop being my butler and to stop following me around like a well trained dog. When I lived in England, he was my butler, he was obligated to follow me – probably because I was always in imminent danger but here, there is no need. No one knows me and I don't know anyone here. I am anonymous, no one, not an Earl or a Phantomhive, not even Ciel – I am just me, whoever I am now and this town accepts me for that.

However, the only way I could get Sebastian to agree to leave me be, is to promise that all I need to do is call and he will appear. I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that.

...

 

Finding a quaint café, I order a pot of tea and sit outside. I never really enjoyed the sun before but I can't seem to get enough of it these days. Perhaps it was because I had locked myself away in my cabin on the ship or maybe, even more likely, is that England harbored nothing but slate grey skies and rain.

In any case, I lean back in my chair and raise my face to the sky, soaking up as much as I can on this chilly spring day. The waitress comes over to me, interrupting my basking and sits the tray down in front of me, she offers to make my tea but I decline – let's be honest, I'm not really going to drink it anyway. Taking her leave, I look over what she has presented and I begin to prepare the tea myself. What a novel experience. I sift the leaves into the pot of hot water and allow it to steep. There is a small hourglass beside the cup and I turn it over and watch as the sand slowly drains down to the bottom.

In this moment, I cannot help myself as my thoughts drift to Sebastian.

' _You have to break the contract_.'

Yes Alice, I know I do.

' _You have to break the contract_.' Another voice repeats.

I understand.

Over these last few weeks, I have been what could be considered as happy. It's funny; the feeling is so foreign to me that I wasn't absolutely sure what it was that's come over me. When was the last time I was happy? I think it was when I was snuggled up with my parents in bed, there was as thunderstorm and I was scared. My mother reached out to me and my father smiled as he helped me up – I was so very small then. Their arms surrounded and enveloped me, keeping me warm and safe. I know then, I was truly happy.

I could feel this sense of contentment again as I was getting into the rhythm of being a demon and hitting my stride. I was even getting stronger and starting to take over Sebastian – which has only caused him to be annoyed and if I can annoy him then I enjoy myself all the more. Our relationship has become quite strained. I allow him to go off to do God knows what without me and he is the same, we try to spend as little time together as possible as it always just ends up in resentment, arguing and his overwhelming desire to snuff out my existence.

Still, he's always around me, ever present even when he thinks I don't notice. He allows me to do these jaunts on my own but I think he sometimes forgets that I can smell him, sense him close to me – I always know he's there. Not today though, today, I feel truly alone.

Even though he can do whatever it is that he does, he comes back quickly. He says it's for my benefit but I'm better off without him and now that I've learned how to exist on my own, feed on my own and survive on my own - I don't need him around anymore. However, as much as I try, I cannot seem to break our contract. Not for want of trying, I've never been so desperate to do anything in my entire life.

The timer is up. I put the strainer into the porcelain cup and pour the tea in, turning my nose up at the pungent smell. Sitting the pot back down, I lift the strainer out and set it aside and stare at the sienna liquid in the cup, I would drink it but I know that it would be disgusting. There's no one around me anyway so I just lean back in the chair, close my eyes and put my face back up towards the warmth of the sun.

I could hear footsteps approach me and stop. The clacking sounds of the shoes on the cobbles were light and staccato, which meant they belonged to a woman. I don't think to open my eyes, as I can almost be assured that it is a prostitute. New Orleans is a nice town but there seems to be a seedier side of it that I am not quite used to. I hear her ruffle her sleeves and a fragrance of patchouli emanates from her skin – well, at least she doesn't smell like a prostitute.

She clears her throat, almost as if she is summoning my attention. I open my left eye into a narrow slit and roll it into her direction. She has light brown skin and jet black, curly hair that pokes out of some strange ethnic head wrap. Her dress is black and tight at the top but the skirt is belled out. She smiles at me as she adjusts the gold embroidered orange shawl that is draped around her shoulders. She tilts her head from side to side as she examines me, and then lets out an airy chuckle.

" _Well now_ , who is hauntin' you demon?" She asks. Both of my eyes fly open and I quickly sit forward – stunned.

"W-what?"

" _I said_ , who is hauntin' you?" She grins as she folds her arms across her chest.

"No, the last part."

"Demon?" I nod at that word.

"Why would you call me that?" I hesitate and look around to see if anyone had heard her, of course not, there's no one around. The woman chuckles and takes the empty seat next to me. Who is this woman and what exactly is she doing? She places her elbows on the table and leans over.

"Well, that's what you is, right? You a demon." She points at me. Her voice is heavy with a French accent and drawls, I stumble for words but my mind can't seem to reach them. "Com'mon mon petit chou, you can't deny it – I can tell."

"A-are you one too?" I hesitate. Does she want to fight? I've never gotten into a fight with another demon other than Sebastian before. She leans back and shakes her head no, I don't think is going to do me any harm but I didn't know what she was and how she knew that I was a demon. Looking down on my cup of tea, she picks it up and swirls it around, then draws it up to her nose and sniffs it.

"Oh, this is no good." She laughs as she sits the cup back down.

"What is no good?"

"This here. This is no good for a demon – you can't taste it, right?" Her voice is cheerful and nonchalant, as though speaking with a demon is just an everyday occurrence.

"N-no, I guess I can't." I reply.

Laughing again, she slaps the tops of her knees and stands to her feet, moving back in front of me, she holds out her hand for mine.

"Come demon, I make you a nice cup of tea; you'd like that, non?" She flicks her hand back and forth, beckoning for me to come along with her.

"I don't even know who you are and how did you know I am a demon?"

"I don't even know who you is but I can see that you are haunted, child, and I can help, now come." She commands. I don't move, which causes her face to scrunch up and frown in disapproval. "I am Marie Laveau and I'm well known round these parts, in fact all Louisiana. I am the Voodoo Queen." She smiles. I know of voodoo, Sebastian told me about it in derogatory terms when we arrived but he didn't tell me that they could figure out someone like me. I decide to go with her, what does it matter anyway, I could easily overpower her and possibly get a good meal out of her if needs be and if all else fails, if I need Sebastian, all I need do, is call – although I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that.

 

...

 

Near the French Quarter, the house of the Voodoo Queen of Louisiana is unlike any one I've ever been in before. I sit on her davenport, which is an odd bluish grey color and I fidget as I look around nervously. Her house is very strange; it is dark, as the heavy crimson drapes covering her windows are drawn. There are little dolls and sacks of things everywhere. Books, copious amounts of books, decorate her tables and other chairs, as do shawls of various colors. Amulets, charms and statues are also scattered throughout as well as roots and numerous herbs. The whole place reeks of patchouli oil and lavender, which turns my stomach.

Marie walks out of her kitchen carrying a tray with two separate pots of tea and two cups and sits it down in front of me on the table. She takes off the lid to one of them and sniffs the vapors.

"This one's yours." She motions as she places the lid back on. I nod and take the pot from the tray, the smell was quite neutral and I pour it into my cup, the liquid is almost clear as I take the cup closer to my face for inspection. Interesting, it has no real smell and almost no color. I can see her watching me as I go through a ritual that is so familiar to me but I haven't done in such a long time. I draw out each motion, without realizing it, I bring the cup to my nose and inhale the lack of scent, I swirl the liquid in the cup and I draw it to my lips – although I am slightly apprehensive as I don't know how it will taste – I'm surprised, it's wonderful.

Seeing the pleased expression on my face, Marie takes her own cup into her hands and sits down beside me.

"Ah, I knew you'd like it!"

"What is this?"

"It's a witches brew. I made it with roots from the maudit tree – it's very poisonous to humans but to a demon, it's fine. C'est bon, non?"

"Yes, very."

"Bon! I make some for you to take."

"Merci beaucoup!" I smile, I couldn't help it, she is being so kind to me. Not to mention that I missed tea and this kind woman had given me some that I can actually drink.

"Now demon, who is hauntin' you?"

"How can you tell?" I ask between sips. She shrugs and sits her cup down. She suddenly grabs my wrists and guides my hands to the table as I put my cup down. When I do, she takes my hands into hers, closes her eyes and breathes deeply, concentrating.

"Duex, there is two in you. The first one is a girl." She whispers – I am nervous but she is right, there seems to be two that are haunting me, one for sure – Alice – as for the other one, I don't know. Marie breathes in deeply again and exhales slowly. "The second one is-" She pauses, I watch her as she moves her head towards me, trying to listen to my thoughts but they are silent, "is a boy."

 _A boy?_  I haven't taken a soul from a boy before.

Marie opens her eyes and looks straight into mine, she squeezes my hands and I can feel a jolt course through me, my right eye burns as it must have changed over to the contract seal. I am scared but I can't look away as she holds my gaze.

"Interesting." She says curiously, "You were human before, I see, I see… You poor thing, how you suffered." She thinks aloud. Marie closes her eyes again, she mutters something under her breath but her voice vibrates through me. "He tells me you want out of your contract – but you can't. Fait intéressant..." She finally lets go of my hands, sighs and rolls her shoulders to stretch out. "Ok demon, I can help you." She smiles, "Although I have never exorcised a  _mal soul_ from a demon before." She muses aloud to herself.

"How?"

"It is simple." She lowers her voice causing me to instinctively lean in. "Stop eatin' souls!" She chuckles drolly. I frown immediately and sit back in a huff as she leans over to collect her teacup and hold it in her lap. "It seems that this is a downside to your curse, mon petit chou. The stronger willed the soul, the longer it stays with you. They should leave you over time as the  _will_ will disappear but be careful not to let them over take you." She warns.

I nod; I guess I understand that, even though I don't know why. She takes a sip of her tea, realizing it is cold; she places it back on the table.

"One more thing demon." Her dark brown eyes shoot over to me sharply, "Sebastian." If I had a beating heart, it would have stopped at the mere mention of his name, how does she know? "If you want Sebastian to be free of your contract, you have to stop caring about him. Stop caring and he will be free."

I snort, caring is the farthest thing away from what I am towards him.

"I don't care about Sebastian, I hate him." I spit.

She gingerly takes my hand and pats it, shaking her head at me.

" _Oh, la, la, la…_  It is in your heart and your mind mon petit chou. In time, you will come understand and what you must do."

"I don't have time." I sigh.

"What is the opposite of love?"

"Hate."

"Non, cheri, the opposite of love is indifference. When you are indifferent, you could not care one way or the other about that person. To hate means you still have some sort of  _feelin'_  towards him. It may not be a good feeling but it's a feeling nonetheless. No?"

Yes. She is right.

Standing to her feet, she guides me up, I guess our time here is done.

"I have a client comin' shortly." She leads me towards the door but before she opens it, she stops, "You will come again though, won't you?" I smile and nod, which causes her to grin broadly. "Bon, good. I can show you how to keep these two quiet up there." She taps my temple lightly. If she can, it will be a relief, though I have noticed that ever since I met her – they have stayed silent – then it hit me.

"Who is the other one?"

"Hm?"

"You said there was a boy?"

She lightly pats my shoulder as she puts her other hand on the door handle.

"He was the first one, there from the start, with you the whole time." She opens the door and lets me out. "See you next time, come by anytime and I'll have the tea for you." She waves. I dip my head politely and make my way through the busy streets back to the hotel. I feel warm and light – is this what it is like to make a friend? So much for anonymity.

 

...

 

It is dark by the time Sebastian comes to see me; he walks into my room without knocking and sits down on a chair by the window, facing me. I am already bathed and in my nightshirt and laying on my stomach on the bed, reading a book I had found on Haitian voodoo. I stopped into a bookstore by the hotel; they looked at me strangely when I asked about it, but then found it and accepted my money nevertheless. Flipping through it and sure enough, Marie was right, she is very well known around Louisiana and even quoted in this book – all though most of the book is based on her mother, the first Marie Laveau, apparently, this incarnation of Marie is just as good.

I thought about all of the things that she had said to me today and I tried to make sense of them all. Most particularly, who was the boy that was with me all along? I don't understand. He doesn't torment me as much as Alice but his voice is still there, his laughter sends shivers down my spine and his words bother me. I also think about what she said about not caring and how long it would take.

I understand what she means now. Even though it was all built on lies Sebastian was the one who saved my life, whatever was left of it. He protected me, sort of, well – he did try. I suppose demons are not perfect beings either. Even though it was because of the contract, he was always with me – even now, he's sat across from me. I don't bother to look up at him but I know he's watching me, waiting for me to acknowledge his existence.

"What did you do today?" I ask half heartedly, I know he was doing something that I don't particularly care about or am still too young to know about. He smirks and stands, striding over to me he sits next to me and pulls the book from my hands, how annoying.

"Voodoo? My lord, why are you filling your head with this nonsense?" He mocks, I struggle to my elbows and try to fetch it back but he holds it high above his head. Pushing off of my palms, I launch myself up and snatch the book back, cradling it in my arms.

"I met the Voodoo Queen of Louisiana today." I hug the book to my chest as Sebastian tries to pry it away from me again.

"The elusive Voodoo Queen, eh? You're better off not hanging around someone like her, she will give you the wrong ideas about things."

"She told me how I can be rid of you." I scowl, as I scurry to the head of the bed, book in hand.

"How?" He raises his eyebrow at that sentence.

"How what?"

He crawls along the bed and stretches himself out on top of it, on his stomach, with his head just below my lap.

"How can you get rid of me?" He asks curiously as he looks up at me.

I smirk and shake my head, I'm not telling him – I'm not letting him have any more power over me.

He sighs and rolls over onto his back, covering his eyes with his forearm, what was he doing? His playful behavior is unnerving, as I know that he likes to do things as you would with an animal, as  _reward_  and  _punishment_ – to lull me in a false sense of security and then take it away. Sebastian is the master of mental manipulation, he can be kind when he wants to but he can equally be cruel to me. I never know which one he wants to be until it's too late and I'm sucked in, I hate that about him but I do remember that he always used to be like this, even when I was alive. Then again, I wasn't totally blameless in that area myself.

"I found an excellent townhouse in the French Quarter, I'm sure you'll be pleased with it." He interrupts my thoughts.

Even if I weren't, it would be fine for me. I want a place of my own now, I'm sick of living in a hotel – not to mention, the French Quarter is next to Marie.

"Ok, the French Quarter. When do we move?"

"Well, I've already made preparations to move tomorrow. Does that suit you young master?" He moves closer to me and rests his head onto my lap. His arm flops over my waist and he tries to steal my book again but I snatch it away - again.

Moving tomorrow? That suits me just fine because, as it stands, all I want to focus on is how not to care anymore. How not to care about you...

 


	8. J'ai vu le loup

Sebastian has done a wonderful job; the townhouse is perfect and suits me well.

From the outside it is a beautiful royal blue and white Antebellum town house with a massive garden in the front filled with white rose bushes and another white flowering plant I have never heard of. Sebastian tells me that the flower is called a magnolia, in any case, it's beautiful and it lines the outside walls of the house.

The inside is very grand, white marble flooring in the foyer that leads into dark ebony wooden flooring throughout the rest of the house. A massive staircase right in the middle leads its way to the many rooms of the home. My room, at the far back, is the biggest and has a wonderful view of the French Quarter, and I can see everything out of my large bay window. Although I would much rather experience the world going by outside, rather than sit by the window, but ever since I had expressed an interest in voodoo, or rather, The Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau, Sebastian has been keeping a tighter eye on me than usual. This has resulted in him limiting my time outside.

Still, it has become somewhat fun staying inside with him. I would not go as far as to say that we are getting along famously but we cohabitate naturally. He has ceased to act as my butler when we are alone together, which I have started to welcome as I can do everything by myself now and I greatly enjoy the feel of freedom it brings. Especially now as he barely trusts me to go out on my own, accompanying me everywhere I go, whether I want him to or not.

Although it has been rather obnoxious of him to constantly tag along on my jaunts, he hasn't been that much of a nuisance to me, in fact, dare I say – I am rather enjoying it. It is fun to spend time with another person and share in all of the new experiences this town has to offer. Sebastian has even shown me around to places I had yet to explore which were full of wonderful visual treats for my eyes and the rich sounds, feasts to my ears.

He has taken me to various music halls, where we sit and listen to all kinds of sounds from whatever musicians are in residence at that particular place. I do love it here and I feel so much a part of it that I could be considered a fixture on the streets. With all of that being said, I do miss Marie.

I have only been able to see her every so often - when Sebastian goes out on his own. I sneak away and try to see her, even if it is only for an hour or so. I never know how but Sebastian will have somehow beaten me back home, always with a sullen scowl on his face and a snide remark about voodoo being witchcraft – maybe it is but it never bothers me, I am, after all a demon so what difference would witchcraft mean to me?

"I don't like that you spend so much time with that woman." He remarks as he finds me sat on the bench outside in the back garden amongst the magnolias that have started to bloom. It was late spring and the weather was perfect for reading. I don't look up from by book but I don't carry on reading either, I know he will interrupt me soon.

"I don't see what the problem is." I retort. He walks over and bends over to look at what I'm reading, it's a book of short stories by Edgar Allan Poe, currently, I'm reading The Fall of the House of Usher, which seems to have relieved him. I've hidden all of my books on voodoo, which, with Maries' help; I have built up quite a collection over the last few months. I simply find the whole thing fascinating, how they can marry Haitian witchcraft and Christianity together without the idea of blasphemy – it's intriguing. However, Sebastian seems to have taken a strong disliking to it, which only makes me what to learn more. Surely anything that would help break this contract, I thought he would welcome.

"Why do you insist on upsetting me so, my lord?"

"I wasn't aware that I was."

"Is my company so repulsive that you would do anything to be away from me?" He asks coyly. Well, that comment deserves my full attention, so I close the book and sit it down beside me. Folding my arms, I lean back and glare at him.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Sebastian shrugs and leans against the side of the white cast iron bench I'm sitting on. His back is to me but I can tell he's thinking about something, perhaps the _punishment_  part to his  _reward_  behavior. Whatever it was, I was bracing myself for what he felt like throwing at me. Instead he was silent, he just stood up and walked away, leaving me by myself.

Just before he goes back into the house, he stops at the doorway.

"I'm going to go out for a bit, would you like to accompany me?"

I think for a moment.

"No, I'll just stay here – I'm enjoying the sun."

He turns to me and smiles, "You'll stay here." It wasn't even a question, it was more of an order but I just nod and pick up my book. Seeming satisfied by my response, he goes back inside.

I wait, leaf through my book and just sit in the garden, I wasn't sure if this was a test or not but I thought that I would err on the side of caution and hang around just in case. An hour later and he was still nowhere to be found, so I run up the stairs to my room, grab my long black cloak and appropriate top hat, drape my cloak over my shoulders and head out.

 

...

Even though Sebastian has forbidden me to do so, visiting Marie has become a regular occurrence, whenever I can. She lets me sit in with her clients and I watch her work, I can see how she has earned herself the title of Voodoo Queen; I have never seen a human so powerful before. Of all the things she would let me sit in on, she wouldn't let me see an exorcism, she said that she was worried that I would be forced out too. I wasn't sure if she was joking or if she really didn't want me there but I was happy with it all the same.

It's only been a few months but she has a habit of making me feel like a true friend. She has even forgone her patchouli oil, as the smell is an instant give away to Sebastian, something that I'm quite glad of because it always turns my stomach. Aside from her kindness, she treats me as a human – even though she is very aware that I am a demon – she likes to be around me just as I am. I never dreamed that anyone could accept me but she does, more than that – she helps me. Not only does she teach me things, but she also keeps Alice and the other voice at bay – being around her brings me such peace, Marie is my sanctuary.

Sitting on her davenport, I flip through one of the books she has given me on demonology. I wonder if Sebastian is in here, he's been around for so long, he must have made a name for himself by now. Marie comes in with a tray of maudit root tea and what seems to be cake. I look at her curiously as she knows that I can't taste human food. I can't help but frown, as I would want nothing more that to remember what cake tastes like.

"Whatcha lookin' so sour for demon?" She drawls.

"Oh, nothing." I smile politely as I watch her cut into the cake, it looks sweet and moist as she sits it delicately on a plate and hands it to me, I know I must have looked at her curiously as she starts to shake with stifled laughter.

"Oh cheri, worry not. This here pound cake is made from ground digitalis, safe for demons."

I take a fork from off of the tray and cut into it, popping it into my mouth. I let my tongue absorb the flavor and texture – it was one of the best things I've had in a long time.

"Dis ish delisheous!" I mumble with my mouth full, which causes her to roar with laughter as she sits down next to me. "Aren't you going to have any?" I swallow.

She shakes her head, "Oh non, non, non. Digitalis is poisoness to humans." She pauses for a moment and then chuckles, "I like cooking for you demon." Her statement causes me to grin broadly as I inhale another bite – finishing off the cake and setting the plate back down on the table. She takes my hands into hers and breathes slowly.

"How have they been?"

"Quiet since I've arrived." I reply and she nods.

"D'accord. I must teach you how to calm them yourself. I am worried though…" She thought aloud.

"About what?" I ask as I exam her face, she looks concerned as she looks straight into my eyes.

"You have  _a deep darkness_  in you child, something that I don't think can ever be repaired. If you take a soul darker than yours-" She stops abruptly and lets go of my hands.

"Mon petit chou, could you go into the kitchen for me and get the honey, it's in a jar on the top shelf on the left?"

Straight away, I know that it's a feeble excuse; I don't even need to look around because I can sense him, and he's here. I am so outraged that I could rip his head from his shoulders but I decide to stifle my boiling rage and placate my anger by carrying out her request instead, she must have a reason for wanting me to leave the room. I nod to her and I get up to go into the kitchen. I know she's watching me so I turn the corner to be out of sight but I press my back against the wall to eavesdrop.

I hear her shift on the davenport, she isn't even nervous, which surprises me because of what I have told her about him. I can't see her, but I know she is relaxed. Now I can hear Sebastians' light footsteps as he approaches behind her. I slide down the wall, sit on the ground and turn my head towards the doorframe - I can't see much but I can see them.

Sebastian casually leans over the back of the couch, resting his elbows just behind Marie, who lightly scoffs to herself and folds her arms, leaning back into the cushion behind, completely unaffected.  _Please Marie, please don't mock him_.

"Bonjour  _Sebastian_ , I was wondering when you would make an appearance to see me."

"You know me?" He draws his finger down her cheek, it sends shivers down my spine but she is perfectly still.

"Oui, anyone with the slightest knowledge of the underworld knows about the demon Michaelis – that is what you're going by these days isn't it?"

" _Hm._  Is that so? Well then, it saves me the effort of introducing myself." He spoke so languidly - it was unnerving.

"What do you want demon?" She hisses.

"I want you to leave Ciel alone and I want you to keep him away from here."

"Why would you think I would do that?"

" _Because you know about me_." He grabs her by the cheeks and whilst squeezing her face, he turns her to face him. "So you must know what I'm capable of." He threatens, his nails dig into her flesh and I can smell the blood that is leaking out from underneath his grip. As her head moves, her eyes glance over to me, she knows I am watching, and she blinks twice and tries to smile under his grip in an effort to reassure me.

 _Please Sebastian, don't do this, I'll do whatever you want – just don't hurt her._  I want to scream, I want to run and take her with me. Why, why is he doing this to me? She's the only thing I have that has any meaning to me anymore. Is that it? Is it because she means something to me?

She moves her hand to his wrists and holds on tight.

"I am afraid that I cannot help you. I do not compel the boy to come, it is of his own free will – you remember free will don't you?" She goads, as Sebastian lets go of her face and smirks, licking her blood from his fingertips.

"Does he talk about me?" He asks her, his baritone voice was lowered into a soft growl. Marie sits stoically as she still faces him, her face is still dripping blood but she doesn't move to do anything about it.

"Can't say he does." She lies, there was no reason for her to lie to him but I think she was doing it to protect me – there was no need.

"You're lying."

"And so are you."

"What are you talking about?" He raises his eyebrow.

"Keepin' the boy."

Sebastian sniggers at her comment, "So you know."

"Of course I do."

"Does he know?"

"Not yet but I plan on tellin' him."

 _What are they talking about?_  I thought. Whatever it was, I could sense that Sebastian was fuming. What is it he doesn't want me to know?

"You know, there's nothing stopping me from killing you right now." He growls ferociously.

"Oh yes there is, you know the boy is here and you know he is listening. Il est vrai, oui, mon petit chou?" She calls over to me as her eyes land on me.

I move away from the wall, stand to my feet and turn into the doorway.

"Why are you here Sebastian?" I spit, balling my fist and clutching them to my sides, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. I watch as he moves directly behind Marie, this action has made me hesitant on attacking him head on.

"I came to check on you, you've been gone for an awfully long time my lord." He speaks as though nothing has happened, like this was a typical conversation, he rests his hands on her shoulders. I can't cry, that privilege has been taken from me - not that I ever did. In all my life, I can't remember shedding a single tear at any time; all I had was anger. It was all I had left then and it's all I have left now and what he is doing angers me deeply.

"I am here, I am always here! But now, I want you to go."

"My lord, be reasonable, she's filling your head with lies – you can't trust her." He moves his hands around her neck.

"Like I can trust you?"

He sneers at my response and wraps his fingers around her throat and squeezes tightly. She doesn't move or struggle as if she knew that this would happen to her and she is prepared for whatever is to come next. I hear her choke, gasping for air as Sebastian does nothing but stare at me. I stand here stunned, frozen to the spot. If I attack, what will he do? I don't know – should I risk it?

No.

"Let her go Sebastian and I will leave with you now." I snarl.

I can see that this will get us nowhere. I must leave with him, in order to protect Marie; I must go – even though I truly do not want to. I look over to her and this time; I see the emotion on her face, she is afraid, not for herself though – she seems to be afraid for me.

Marie is gifted, using her talents as an oracle and, being the Voodoo Queen, she can see not just what is inside of me but what my future is destined to be. She has never shared that information, as I never wanted to ask – what good is a future if you are endless? However, she must see something here; it's conveyed in her face. I nod to her to reassure her that I will be all right, even though not even I truly believe it.

He instantly lets go of her throat and she falls forward gasping for air. She places her hands on the table and clutches them into fists as she tries to breath. I'm over to her like a bullet discharged from a revolver, I use my small arms to envelop her and secure her safely as I hear Sebastian chuckle sardonically behind me. Pushing herself up from the table, she takes one of my hands and slips something into it, it was a something hard and metallic. Looking up, she winks at me, which causes me to look over at Sebastian, he didn't notice.

"Let's go Sebastian." I demand as I stand, and start to make my way to the door. He turns the handle and opens the door for me as I walk out. I pocket the small metal item quickly before he notices and I look over at her and smile, I don't care what I have to do, I will see her again.

As Sebastian follows behind me, Marie calls out to stop him.

"Demon Michaelis, do not do anything else to hurt the boy." She states firmly as she rubs her neck. "Don't you think he has suffered enough?" She waits for a reply but Sebastian does not give her one. She sighs, stands and walks over to him and continues, "I am not afraid of you and with or without you, I will help him summon the courage to break your contract."

" _Oh?_  You think you can see that, don't you?" He mocks her as he points to her forehead. "It's too bad that I won't let that happen. I will not let him go."

I am still within earshot and I can hear him, what does he mean that he will not let me go? I have so many questions but I know I will not get the answers from him – he's keeping something from me.

She places her palm on his chest and he leaps back instantly.

"Bloody witch!" He hisses as he rubs his torso.

"That's for me throat." She smiles and slams the door in front of him.

...

 

Sebastian was wise to leave me alone after that. He didn't bother to say anything but I know he must have felt victorious; he'd won after all. I left with him and vowed not to return to her home.

I never really realized it at first but now it was too hard not to notice, I was never in control of him, even when I was alive – I realize now that he was always the one in control of me. He would always wait before he came to rescue me, watching my reaction or how I would writhe in agony. Sebastian is a very clever demon indeed, all along, he has led me to believe that it was me who had control of the leash but I was the one who was collared.

Even now, he made me leave my home; he chose what country and city we would live in, where we stayed, where we live and now, who I can visit. Sebastian owned everything about me but made me think that this was all for my benefit.

If all that is true, then what was all of this about? Why make me go through the idea that not breaking the contract was my fault and that I had an obligation to him? What was he getting out of all of this? Surely this can't all be for the fun of tormenting me?

I strop off up the stairs and to my room, I pass Sebastian on my way up, he is leaning against the banister with his arms folded across his chest with an impressively smug look on his face.

"Oh, don't pout my lord. You'll forget all about that witch soon enough." He chuckles. I stop midway but I chose not to look at him.

"I don't want to forget about Marie. She cares about me."

He snorts at my sentiment, "She cares about you? Oh dear." I hear his footsteps as he approaches, he stands right behind me and places his hands on my shoulders. I can still smell the vague scent of blood that remains on his hands. He bends over, leaning in very closely to my right ear. "Don't you see Ciel? You now belong to me and I'm not willing to share you with anyone." He whispers coolly, which causes me to shudder.

"So I'm a prisoner?"

"No, I wouldn't say that, my lord." He coos.

"Then what would you say? I can't leave and I can't see Marie I am nothing more than a prisoner here." I wriggle out of his grip and walk up two steps - Sebastian follows me.

"Did I say you couldn't leave? I merely said that you can't see that witch anymore – it's for your own safety."

Safety?  _My own safety_? I sigh and lower my head, looking at my shoelaces; they seem to have come undone in the long hoof I took to get home. I think about tying them but then again, I think about being spiteful and commanding him to do it – in the end I do neither.

"I thought you would want to break the contract?" I exhale.

"I want nothing more than."

I turn my head to him sharply, "Then why can't I see her? She said she could help me! Damn it Sebastian, stop toying with me!" I shout.

Sebastian ignores me as he turns to walk back down the steps, I watch him leave and I can see a faint smile traced on his lips.

I storm off up the rest of the stairs and into my room, slamming the door behind me. I throw myself onto the bed and bury my face in the linen sheets that cover it. Rolling over onto my side, I feel something digging into my hip – oh! It is the thing Marie gave me. Sitting up, I quickly put my hand into my pocket and pull it out; it is a flat circular disk with a decorative carving on one side and an inscription on the other in a language I am unfamiliar with but it seems like it has some words of French in it. All I can make out is  _Amulet_ and  _Protection_.

I close my hand around it and squeeze it into my palm; Marie knew that this was going to happen and she was prepared.

I lay back down with the amulet in my hand and I try and devise a way of seeing her again. Of course, like clockwork – the moment I need to focus my thoughts, they appear.

' _Oh Ciel, you know you can't see her again._ '

Oh, it's you. This time, it was the boy giggling childishly through his warning.

' _Haven't you realized what Sebastian will do to keep you?_ '

I think I realize what Sebastian would do all too clearly now  _– wait..._  I can talk to you? It must be the amulet...! I take this opportunity to get some answers as I try to speak loudly in my mind to communicate with him.

Who are you? How were you with me all along?

' _Don't you remember? How could you forget the feel of the blade as you drove it into me? How after that happened, our souls were then merged together? Oh Ciel, I'm disappointed_.'

 _Alois_  – I gasp aloud and look around to see if I am heard, and of course I'm not, I am alone.

' _It's about time you realized that it was me…_ '


	9. Bella Marie

**Warning:**  Character death

...

'It's about time you realized that it was me.'

_Alois, h-how are you still here? I thought you-_

'Died? No – I didn't die, I only went dormant but thanks to Alice, I'm now awake.'

_But you can't be._

'I am and I'm in you –  _I am you_.' His words are enticing and hypnotic.

 _You are me._  I repeat as if under a spell.

'I am you.'

 _You… are…_ me.

A searing pain shoots through my head.

I clutch my scalp as I writhe in agony on my bed in an effort to try and ride it out. I can't, it's unbearable.

I hear Alois giggle, his voice chimes out in between my ears, it echoes and deafens me. I lay on my side, on top of my bed, as I grasp my head and squeeze tightly - I can't seem to silence him.

'Call him, I must call him.'

_No – don't, stop._

"S-Sebastian..." I feel my mouth move and I hear my voice feebly mutter as I continue to hold my head. These are not my actions and these are not my words. "Sebastian,  _please_..." I cry out, weakly.  _No, Alois please stop; I don't want him to see me like this._

"What is the matter?" Sebastian inquires as he enters the room and approaches me. I can't feel my head in my hands or my body lying on the bed, the only thing I can feel is the constant thumping and throbbing of my head.

"My lord?" His voice is low, almost whispered as he bends over the bed and hoovers in front of me. I want to speak but I struggle to get the words out.

He puts his hand on my forehead as I look up at him; he seems worried as he studies my face and sees that I am completely unresponsive. How can I be? I'm not in control of my own body but I try to fight back to regain control over it.

"H-help me." I utter, finally, I am able to control my own voice again. In one swoop, he scoops me up and presses me tightly against his chest. "What's happening to me?" I whimper as I now feel my body but it goes weak in his arms.

"Ciel, tell me what's wrong." His voice is calm but he is worried, I can tell, he is addressing me by my name.

"My head – it hurts."

"Your head?"

"I hear – I hear them." I stutter.

"Who? Who do you hear?"

"All of them." I breathe.

"All of who? Who do you hear?" He inquires as I groan in agony.

"S-Sebastian, please.  _Please_  take me to Marie."

"No, I will not allow you to see her." He says firmly.

"P-please, she can help me." He doesn't respond to my request but the pain is so intense, I feel like I'm going to black out at any moment. I am desperate, "Sebastian, this is an order, take me to see Marie. If this contract means anything, will you honor it?" I demand, barely able to hear my own voice as it speaks – the others are are far too loud in my mind.

I feel him squeeze me securely against his torso as his body shifts from the bed. He then releases me as he lays me down and quickly goes over to my wardrobe, pulling out my hooded cloak. Coming back over to me, he puts his arm around my waist, to brace me and drapes the cloak over my shoulders. Laying me back down – his nimble fingers tie the strands of ribbon together around my neck. I watch him as he does this so dutifully, is he actually taking me to see her?

Once done, he scoops me up again, cradling me in his arms and we take our leave.

 

...

 

He is fast as he darts through the empty streets of the French Quarter until we arrive at the front garden of Marie Laveau. Sebastian stops dead at the wooden gate, grunting, as he seems unable to move any further.

"Very clever witch." Sebastian hisses as he sits me down on the ground.

"What is the matter?"

"Unfortunately my lord, I cannot go in, it seems that she has put a temporary curse on these premises, which is blocking me from going any further."

The front door creaks as it opens and Marie appears and stands in the doorway, folding her arms as she leans into the doorpost. She is smiling sardonically at Sebastian but with a scowl.

"That's right demon Michaelis, you won't be chokin' me now." She scoffs. Turning to me, her face brightens up. "Well, hello mon petit chou, come in, come in. I have tea already made up for you." She waves to me, I look over at Sebastian who has a glower firmly etched into his brow, and I know he doesn't approve of my coming here but at least Marie had the sense to put up a barrier. I wasn't about to ask how she thought to do so – she was an oracle, I'm sure she knew that we would be coming.

"I will be here, waiting. The moment that barrier comes down though-"

"We'll be quick." She interjects sharply as she closes the door and ushers me in.

As soon as I step through the threshold, the voices stop and I feel instantly relieved, like a weight has been lifted and my head is completely clear. I wish I could live here; I would spend all of my waking moments here and live in complete peace. However, I know I cannot stay long and I know that Sebastian is waiting, so I sit down instead.

There's something that I want to say to her, something that has been bothering me since the other day but I'm too afraid to ask, perhaps I don't want to know the answer.

"He knows how to break the contract chéri, he is choosing not to."

"W-what?" She knew what I was thinking.

"That is what you want to ask me, non? I know you heard us, I know you know." She is standing in front of me but I can't bring myself to look at her. My empty mind is flooded with thoughts of Sebastian – I now realize that he is keeping me. He is keeping me like a pet and I never knew it. I know Marie is reading my face, I can't imagine what it must look like but I know I am crestfallen. "He is a demon mon petit chou, what did you expect from him?" I am not sure if she is trying to console me.

"He swore that he would never lie." I still keep my face down, but I feel the fabric of her dress as it sweeps across my tightly clasped hands that are on my lap.

"Before or after the mark of the contract?" Her voice is kind.

"After." I exhale; I know I'm trapped in semantics. I decide to look up at her; her wide brown eyes study me as they flicker back and forth.

"Well, there you have it. If he told you going in that he could break this contract at any time you would not have taken it." She stops for a moment and kneels down in front of me, she casually places her right hand on my cheek, " _perhaps you would have_." She concludes. "The  _contract_  is for you, not for them. They will honor it but most don't have too – I'm surprised you survived this long, chéri."

"Why?"

"I have told you before, there is a deep darkness in you, it must have been more than that demon could bear not to devour you whole." Maries' eyes narrow as they look into mine. "I can see your past and I know your future – you may be a demon but you do not have to let the darkness consume you. If you do…" She drifts off, still staring into my eyes but unwilling to share what is going through her mind.

"Is that what is happening with the voices in my head?"

She nods as she stands to her feet, groaning slightly as she hears her knees creak and crack.

"Oh, mon dieu, I am gettin' old." She sighs, "In any case, he could have broken your contract all along but because he can manipulate your feelings towards him, he has chosen to stay. You Demons - curious creatures."

"What do I do?"

"Break that bond between you." She holds out her hand for me, my time must be up. "Break the bond, only if you want to and then you will be free."

"Of course I want too."

" _Of course, of course_." She nods. "You must go now, that barrier won't last much longer and I can't keep him out but can you come back tomorrow night? I will need some time to gather some ingredients together and put things in place."

"For what?"

"For an exorcism – I will try and release them from you." She pokes my head as my eyes widen.

"You can do that?"

"I do not know and I do not know what will happen but I promise you this – I will try." She smiles. I can't help myself, I lean forward and grab her, pulling her into me and I embrace her, she smells like lavender soap, I will try to always remember this scent. Marie pulls away and places both of her palms to my face, "This darkness within you – I just need to get to it before he does and lets it consume you." She warns. "Oh, before you go, I want you to take this." She glances over to the table and picks up a small leather bag with strange writing on it, "Do you have that amulet?"

I nod as I fish it out of my pocket and hand it to her. She accepts it in the palm of her hand and squeezes her hand around it as she closes her eyes and brings her hand to her head. She then flicks open the pouch and puts it inside along with a few other small objects that she crams in, closing the pouch.

"What is it?" I wonder aloud as she hands it to me.

"It's gris-gris, a talisman, this will protect you – never lose it."

"Protect me?"

"Mon petit chou, I do not know what will happen in the exorcism but know that when you have this, you will have me." She smiles. I hold the gris-gris tightly in my hand and step into her, holding my face into her chest. I can her hear chuckle slightly and feel her hand running down the back of my head. "You are very strange demon, you know that?" Her voice is soft and sweet as she continues to stroke the back of my head. "Come now, the barrier is down and it is only a matter of time before he comes."

I step away from her and nod. I had better go for her safety, Sebastian could not be trusted around her and I know that if he were to come in, she might not make it out. I rush to grab my cloak and tuck the gris-gris away in my pocket. I wave good-bye to Marie as I start to leave the house and as soon as I open the door, I can see Sebastian stood on the front porch waiting for me. He is sulking as I approach him, his narrowed eyes never leaving Maries' as I pass by him.

"Come, Sebastian." I call to him over my shoulder.

 

...

 

We arrive back home.

I refused to speak to Sebastian on our walk back. It was easier to just be silent and rationalize everything in my, now clear, mind. What I truly want to do is throw him against the wall and batter him repeatedly but as I haven't fed, I know that I am weak against him. I opt to do nothing, nothing but walk home and think about my next move.

Sebastian holds the door open for me as I walk through. We have only just arrived home but the tension between us is unpalatable. I tug at the ribbon holding my cloak together at my throat, unraveling it and taking it off. Sebastian holds his hand out to take it from me but I ignore it – he frowns at this as I make my way through the foyer, with him closely behind, almost on top of me.

"So, you know." He decides to break the silence.

" _Tch._  Yes, I know." I hiss as I stop, my hand grips the staircase banister so tightly it could go right through it. "All this time..." I speak softly through gritted teeth. "All this time you made me think it was me."

"I have my reasons for keeping you."

"Break the contract." I demand.

"No." He replies flatly.

"I don't need you anymore and I don't feel anything for you – so break the contract. Give me my freedom." I growl as I can feel the wood of the banister start to splinter under my grip.

"No."

"Sebastian, I order you to break the contract!" He grabs my wrist from the banister and pulls me into him, wrapping his other arm around my waist and holding me still. I refuse to look at him but he lets go of my wrist and puts his hand under my chin, moving my head to face his.

"Oh dear, my haughty little lord has given me an order?" His voice is sarcastically languid as he speaks and holds onto me tighter. I wriggle and struggle but I can feel my ribs almost start to give and crack under the strain, so I stop. "Well, you and I both know that's not what you really want and until you can convince me otherwise – I'm afraid you still belong to me." He purrs as he stares straight into my eyes. His words shoot through me, they would seem sweet to some but to me, the tone was undeniably sinister.

"What do you want from me?"

He doesn't reply. All he does is loosen his grip and just hold me as my body goes limp and drapes over him like a rag doll.

I don't know what to say.

I want to move but I don't. I want to run but I won't. I want be free of him but I don't know if I can ever be, he is a part of me and he has been since he marked me. On that day, I become his.

My mind goes blank.

I wrap my arms around him and press myself in to him, holding him close to me and inhaling his provocative scent – so warm, so comforting.

'Oh Ciel. Ciel, Ciel, Ciel... Can't you see?'

_Alice._

_'He keeps you around, to punish you.'_ her voice deepens as she whispers in between my ears.

To punish me?

' _To punish you.'_  She repeats.

"To punish me." I say again out loud.

"Young master?"

"You keep me around to punish me." I respond, speaking directly into his ear. My voice devoid of any emotion as I break away from him, keeping my eyes down as I start to make my way towards the staircase.

"Is that what you think?" He asks as he takes my wrist, halting me. I glance over to his face; he seems disappointed by my comment. I snap my wrist out of his grip and continue to walk up the stairs. I don't know what I think but I know he is keeping me.

"You have no other reason to keep me around other than to play with me – to use me as I have used you in the past. Well, I'm not playing this game with you Sebastian." I leave him and walk up the stairs to my room.

' _You have to break the contract.'_  Alices' melodic voice is breathy and sparse.

_I understand._

Yes, I think I understand.

...

 

The following night could not have come soon enough as I spent the entire day locked away in my room. Sebastian had tried to see me a couple of times but I refused, I knew he would take one look at me and see that something was up and most definitely not let me out of his sight. He is incredibly perceptive – especially when it comes to me, all of those years of being my butler has given him more insight to me than even I probably realize. I grab my cloak from the wardrobe and wrap it around my shoulders, instead of using the ribbons, I opt to use my favorite silver clasps with the cross that just dangles from it. Pinning it together, I sit back down on the bed.

I have a plan.

I am going to sneak out of the house through the window as soon as darkness falls and make my way to the French Quarter. Unfortunately for me, I am feeling pretty feeble and weak. I haven't fed since I first meet Marie and she told me to stop eating souls, needless to say, I was starving. I don't really mind not eating; it doesn't really have that much of an impact on me, especially considering I don't really need it to survive but it is a necessity to keep my strength up.

Although, strangely, even though I don't mind not eating them, souls have become something I deeply crave and the craving makes me more than just hungry – I lust after them, salivate at the thought. I thought that I had fully become a demon but there are some things that I still don't know or understand. In any case, that will all need to wait – I need to take care of something first, I need to get rid of Alice and Alois.

I go to the window and quietly open it. The night air wafts through my hair as I make my way out of the window and down the iron drain pipe. I'm not very good at scaling down the walls; this wasn't anything I had done ever before, especially when I was human. My hand slips and I fall to the ground with a horrible thud.  _Shit_ , I hope Sebastian didn't hear that. It doesn't matter; I race through the back garden into the empty streets and cover myself in the shadows.

I arrive at Maries' house and she is already waiting for me in her doorway, she steps aside to let me in and shuts the door behind me. There was something different about her, she wasn't dressed in her typical long black dress but in head to toe white, from her shawl to her head wrap. The smile on her face is gone and a melancholy disposition in its place. In all of my time that I have spent with her, I have never seen Marie look quite like this before.

"Is there a barrier this time?" I ask as I unfasten the clasp on my cloak and take it off. I sling it over the armrest of the davenport and take my usual seat.

"Non, not this time." She replies solemnly as she walks around the front room, lighting the various candles littered throughout.

The room is dark and only lit through the candles that she has lit. There is a smell of burning in the corner, I turn my head to look and it's a bundle of herbs that have wrapped together and set alight. The smoke from it permeates my nostrils and into my nose, it's entrancing as my eyelids struggle to stay open under the weight of my heavy lids. Marie sits across from me and takes my left hand in hers and holds it on her lap, I look up at her, I can feel that my eyes have shifted to demonic ones but I can also feel my right eye burn as the contract appears. Marie reaches over and places the palm of her hand over my right eye as they both close.

I hear her mutter something in a rhythmic fashion as I start to lose conscientiousness. Through the smoke, I could pick up the smell of lavender, the bundle of herbs, patchouli and him.

Sebastian, he's here.

I black out.

 

...

 

That smell.

That fragrant, delicious and familiar smell – it's the smell of beginnings and endings.

It's the smell of blood.

I struggle, there is a heavy weight on my lap as I try to shift, I'm on the ground – how did I get here? I wonder as I try to open my eyes. It must have worked because my mind is completely clear and I am relieved.

Keeping my eyes closed, I crawl up to my elbows but the weight isn't shifting. Amongst the familiar smell of blood, there was the ever-present scent of Sebastian, which I can pick up on my lap. I will my eyes to open and I take in the room.

Everything is destroyed.

The windows are shattered, the furniture broken into pieces which along with everything else, are scattered about the room – all covered in blood. I look down on my lap – no… no… no… NO! Soaking wet in the fresh crimson blood that seeps through the white fabric of her dress - it was Marie.

"I told you not to come back here." He growls.

I could hear the cracking of glass as he treads on top of it; he is slowly making his way over to me. I try to move Maries' body but it isn't budging.

"I-is she – is she-" I try to get the words out but I can't.

"She's dead." He replies bluntly as he appears in front of me. This shape, this repulsive, horrible form – I have seen it before. He appeared like this to me when we first met, when he was purely a demon.

"What have you done?"

"Only what was necessary."

"Y-you killed Marie?"

"No, I didn't, my lord. You did."

"No. I couldn't have." My voice is empty. Did I?  _Did I kill Marie_?

"Yes and I could not have been prouder. I was here the whole time and I watched it all unfold. You were magnificent in your true form, the way you ripped her to shreds, absolutely exquisite. I had to stop you before you brought the whole house down." I could see his smile through the billowing shadows that envelope him. I can't speak, I'm just in shock. "Now, you must go home – you've created quite a racket here."

"Home?" I know I'm speaking but the words seem foreign in my mouth. Sebastians' arm reaches out to grab me. He pulls me up and Maries' lifeless body falls off me and hits the floor with a heavy thud. He retrieves my cloak from the wreckage and wraps it around my shoulders. As he does this, his natural form surrounds me as if it were an embrace.

What did I do?

I look over at Marie and in this moment, I wish I could cry – I wish I could mourn for her but I can't. Instead, I do as instructed and I leave, not looking back at the damage I had done to the house or the woman who did nothing but help me.

I am so sorry, Marie.


	10. Possession

Do you know how it feels?

How it feels to love someone so much that it turns into hate. To have that hate take over you, encompass you and over power you, so that you want nothing more than to break them, to punish them, rip them apart, devour them –  _to want nothing more but to annihilate them_.

That's how I feel about Sebastian.

This feeling is something I think about often.

There is a tree in the back garden surrounded by magnolia bushes. Even though it's early winter, the weather is quite mild, which allows me to sit out here. Even though I'm wearing long wool trousers, I bring out a blanket and lay it across my lap, although I cannot feel the cold and I brought a book out with me, although I'll not read it. I don't come out here for any other reason than to think – which is something I like to do often. Just lean up against the trunk of the tree, nestle in the magnolias and let my mind wander.

It's been five years since the death of Marie.

I went to her funeral; Sebastian refused to let me go by myself so he came with me. It was a tremendously lavish affair with almost all of New Orleans coming out to walk with her and parade her into the afterlife. There was a twelve-piece ensemble brass band that played a very maudlin sounding dirge as we all walked solemnly into the cemetery and to her gravesite.

This was something that I had never seen before.

I have previously attended only two funerals in my lifetime; one being my aunts' Madam Red and the other was my own. The mourners were dressed in black but some were carrying opened umbrellas, although it was a clear day. The men wore tailcoats and top hats and some had their faces painted white and black, like skulls, paying homage to the voodoo deity, Baron Samedi who, if worshipped, will prevent your corpse from rising as a zombie. In a way, I wish he were around when I died, perhaps I wouldn't be in the state that I am in.

A lot of the mourners had voodoo paraphernalia, such as, dolls, amulets and charms – I myself had my gris-gris, which never left my side, just as she instructed.

Sebastian and I kept a respectful distance in the back, away from the rest, as I really didn't feel comfortable mourning her amongst those who loved her, especially as I was the one who killed her.

That whole night played out constantly in my mind as I tried to piece the fragments of it back together – none of it made any sense. Although, every time I do think back, I become more aware of the fact that she knew she was going to die and she had prepared everything. The gris-gris she gave me before we parted, she told me that when I had this, I would have her. The fact that she didn't put up a protective barrier, she even said that she needed to make arrangements - she knew I was going to kill her.

If she knew, why didn't she warn me? Why did she let me? Why would she even perform the exorcism if she knew I was going to destroy her? I just didn't understand and it wasn't like I could ask her either.

There were many words spoken on her behalf and not a dry eye in sight – until the end when the band struck up a rousing rendition of 'When The Saints Go Marching In'. This was something to see as well as the parade of mourners all started to dance their way out of the cemetery – skirts hitched and hats waved. It was incredibly interesting to see all of these people who once were sad now celebrating – celebrating the wonderful life of Marie.

At the time, I couldn't help but think about how much Undertaker would have loved to see this spectacle. I wondered what he would have made of the whole display? Probably would have joined in some how.

Afterwards, Sebastian and I never really spoke to each other for a few years. It's funny how years mean nothing to me any more – it all went by in the blink of an eye. I was tired of him and he gave me space, which I appreciated but found surprising, nevertheless. However, after living in relative isolation I became bored with it and started to try and spend more time with Sebastian. We got along. We fought. When we did, we fielded forests, and I think my ability to harness my strength even surprised him. We hunted and we stayed in together – I made the best out of the situation and gave up on my need to be free, I suppose I never will be.

I could no longer hear Alois or Alice because of the gris-gris; it somehow blocked them from entering my mind but just because I couldn't hear them didn't mean that I didn't occasionally run their words through my own thoughts. I could feel a sense of disappointment and I know that that must have come from Alice – the one who wanted me to break free so long ago. From the moment she met me, she knew who I was – she could see straight though me to the demonic core I now possess. She was like a kindred spirit, someone who knew what it was like to seek their own death, after all, wasn't that what I was doing when I contracted a demon? I am sorry Alice; I couldn't break the contract after all.

I no longer had the urge to fight Sebastian or to set myself free of him; I gave up and wondered what the point of it all would have been. I was exhausted and tired of struggling against him - which I did try to do on and off throughout the last few years.

His treatment of me hadn't changed, it was a mixture of disgust and distain mixed with what he would describe as love – he's even called it that on a number of occasions although he has never said that he loved me, he only said that he wanted to own me. I became nothing more than a fixture here in this house, I rarely went out and then it was only to sample the local cuisine and when I did – he was always with me, probably in fear that I would run away – but where would I go? He had me trapped but there came a moment where I stopped caring.

I can't exactly tell when my feelings towards him had changed or what prompted it but I suppose it's what happens when you share your existence with someone for so long that your sentiments towards them starts to muddle, you become unsure and you start to wonder if these feelings you have are actually your own – if they are actually true. This was the case for me as my feelings of hatred towards Sebastian turned into some kind of warped affection – Marie was right, there was a fine line between love and hate and I walked it everyday.

I wished he'd leave. I longed to see him.

I needed to be with him. I wanted to be left alone.

Don't touch me. Touch me.

Don't leave me.

Be with me.

I have had nothing but time over these years to reflect on our maddening relationship and it is - it is madding. Sebastian has still not fully told me what he wants of me or why he keeps me but never the less, here I am, only here because he wants to 'own' me. He has done nothing but confuse me, treating me pleasantly only when he wants to – violently attacking me when he doesn't. He says he's frustrated but it that's the case then he should just leave me already but he won't, he never does.

"Young master, what are you thinking about?" He asks me drolly as we sit together in the back garden.

"I'm thinking about what I always think about Sebastian." I reply. He shifts his head on my lap, a position he takes whenever he joins me outside.

"And what is that?" He muses as he tilts his head upwards and closes his eyes. I look up and towards the sky, this conversation happens so often, it's like going through the motions.

"You know what I think about, it's the same thing I've been thinking about for the last five years."

"Five years? Has it been that long already?" He sounds mildly amused with himself but for life of me, I don't know why. I never know what he is thinking. "Ah well, tell me again." He insists.

"Why do you keep me?" I parrot as I've asked this so many times before.

"Young master, don't you know?" He smiles. This was a different response then the usual – what was he playing at this time? Well, I can play too.

"The only thing I can think of is that you want to possess me." He opens his eyes to see me staring down at him. "Well here I am, you have me."

"Don't tempt me my little lord." He grins.

"Tempt? How could I possibly do that?" I huff.

Reaching up, he grabs bow of my dress shirt and pulls me down to his face, our lips barely touching but I can feel the exhalation of air as he speaks to me.

"I do want to possess you." He growls.

"Why?"

"Because I love you." His voice is even and calm. I try and struggle out of his grip and he finally releases me and I slam back into the tree, causing the few leaves that had not fallen in autumn to come cascading down around us.

His words confuse me, they shake me and they enrage me.

This was the first time he ever said that he loved me.

"Love? You do nothing but torture and torment me – how is that love?"

"Because it is." He shrugs. I am not happy with that response in the slightest.

"No Sebastian, tell me how can you love me when all you want to do is own me?

"Oh but my little lord, isn't that the truest definition of love? To own someone? To possess them, control them and for them to  _belong_  to you and only you?" He pauses for a moment to regard my face. "Only humans have this simplistic, silly notion of hearts being set a flutter and happily ever afters. Will they kiss or won't they? That's what humans want to believe it is. It is an interesting concept but not one I subscribe to." He snorts. "I have been around forever and I can promise you this: true love isn't like that. It's morose and it's dark – it's ownership of one person above all others, to love someone so much that you'll die for them, that you would kill for them – to take another life, to stop a beating heart, because that person is yours alone you would do absolutely anything for them, that's not romantic. That type of love is cruel, vile and sadistic and that is the love I feel for you."

I don't know what to say.

His version of love is the same as mine – my twisted, maddening, all consuming version of love.

"I know that you must love me too." He smiles as he starts to move from my lap, sitting up right and facing me as I still remain firmly pressed against the trunk of the tree.

"I do not love you." I spit. He chuckles lightly as he touches his hand to my cheek.

"You're lying."

"I'm not!" I protest.

"You must be, our contract is still in place. Surely, even by now you realize it?" He smirks as he gently strokes my cheek. I did realize it, I knew all along, as that was what Marie had told me, in order to break the contract I had to become indifferent. "You already know that I can break the contract at any time."

"But you chose not to." I sigh as he nods.

"I want to own you, everything about you."

"But I can break the contract." I retort.

"You can't because you love me." He leans into me, his eyes never deviating from mine. "It's because of that love that keeps me here – I now have half of what I want." His voice is low and guttural and it sends shivers right through me.

"Only half?" I whisper. He is so close to me, his scent is so powerful and overwhelming – it's causing me to become dizzy.

"Yes, only half – now, I want the rest of you.  _I want to possess all of you_."

It was now I realized that I had been played all along. Wearing me down and making me give up was another way of manipulating my feelings – slowly but surely, Sebastian was destroying me. He was wrecking me from the inside because he was right – I hate him so much that I love him.

He leans in and kisses me deeply.

I give up and I give into him.


	11. Bon temps rouler

Love is immediately falling into a trap – a trap that you cannot break free from.

_But... do I want to be free?_

At this moment, I am unsure but I know that I am bound – bound and struggling.

_He holds me so tightly._

Pushing me down against the bed, he wraps his arms around me as he enters me; he kisses my throat and licks the salty sweat from my skin. I wrap my legs around him as he then leans back, pulling me on to him further as he goes deeper.

_Deeper and deeper._

Leaning in he kisses me. I breathe out in his mouth and he sucks it in hungrily, as though it were nourishment. I can feel my body bend and break underneath him, as he possesses me.

_I cry out but he just growls._

I tangle my fingers into his sweat drenches tresses as I feel my back smash against the headboard.

_I don't mewl, I don't scream – I just moan and I beg him to go harder._

Harder and harder.

Deeper and deeper.

_And I fall._

_Deep inside, I go._

...

"I shall draw you a bath now my lord." Sebastian states as he slips on a fresh, pressed shirt over his broad shoulders.

"Must you stay so formal? Especially given what we just did?" I wonder aloud as I sit up in bed. I watch him, leeringly, with a wistful smile fighting its way onto my lips. I must admit, this is my favorite part. As much as I love to watch him undress, watching him dress is much more enjoyable.

He has his back to me, his toned muscles gleam with a slight sheen of sweat as he wraps the crisp white shirt over him and buttons it quickly. His nimble fingers are swift and graceful as he pushes each button through their respective holes. He tucks the shirt-tails into the waistband of his trousers neatly, flat down and not one crease as he fastens his belt across his waist. Taking his black tie, he tosses it around his neck and knots it – the movement was so fast that I barely had the chance to take it all in.

Sebastian then walks over to the foot of the bed, kneels over and picks up the waistcoat that he had carelessly tossed aside before this whole event began. The smooth silk presses against his body as he pulls it down, straightening it. Finally, he finishes with his coat, putting it on and pulling it down over his chest.  _Why does he still insist on dressing like a butler_? I think silently to myself.

This has been a regular occurrence between Sebastian and myself for the last few months. It seems to have taken the place of the hatred and violence he had towards me. He still holds me down but now, he holds me down for another reason.

"Do you not want a bath?" His voice sounds surprised as he turns to me.

In truth, I couldn't think of anything I would prefer more. I would love to soak myself in a pool of hot water, my body aches, my muscles are tense and I am sore. I have been worked over in the best possible way.

As good as I felt I equally feel wretched.

Each and every time he lays me down; I hate myself more and more. I swear that it's the last time and each time after that. This isn't what I want; at least I think it's not. How can I be free of him if I keep getting sucked further and further in? Sebastian controls me, he owns me – he has taken over every facet of my mind and my thoughts. He has more control over me than a puppeteer, standing above me, pulling all of my strings and playing with me. Every inch of my body now belongs to him and I willing give it all away.

I realize that however much self-loathing I feel for giving into him so readily, I still cannot help myself - his caress, his taste, his body against mine. I need it.  _I need him._

I feel it, every time I'm with him; I feel I am losing myself to him.

Sebastian is destroying me from the inside out, I cannot control him and I don't want to stop him.

There is one thing I will not let myself do though, I refuse to love him. How can I love someone who wants nothing more than to keep me captive? To want nothing more than to possess me and own me? Although, if I was being honest – I know that I love him but I will not give him the satisfaction of knowing that I do. Especially as I am trying so desperately not to love him and I equally try not to hate him, as I now know, they are one in the same.

I long to be free and if my emotions are getting in the way of that – then I must find a way to not feel them.

He catches me glaring at him and smiles. He slowly walks over to the foot of the bed and bends over, crawling on top of it and towards me. I lean back against the headboard and fold my arms.

"Young master, aren't you cold? You don't appear to be wearing anything."

"I'm fine; I'm waiting for you to draw my bath." I snort halfheartedly. He's hovering right above me now; I can feel the goose pimples start to rise on my skin as they always do whenever he's so close to me. I can feel his eyes bore into me but I refuse to meet his gaze, I just hold my arms closer to my chest and look to my left. The sun is out, it pours in through the glass and refracts against some of the white furniture in the room.

Sebastian hums cheerfully as he plants a soft kiss on my still dampened forehead and moves off of me.

"I'll draw you a bath now." He smiles as he starts to leave the room. He stops by the door and looks over his shoulder at me. "Would you like to go out today? There is a parade happening in the middle of town." He suggests.

"A parade? It's Tuesday. What an odd day for a parade."

"It's the towns' Mardi Gras parade my lord. They have been doing this every year since we've been here."

"All right, I'll go." It's actually a beautiful day today and I would much rather be out and about rather than cooped up here or sitting by my tree.

"Yes my lord." Sebastian grins as he leaves the room. I slouch down into the sheets and hide myself under the covers. I try not to let my thoughts run away with me, especially as whenever I'm alone with my thoughts, I think of Marie but I am trying not to think of her so often these days.

For the last five years since her death, my mind was occupied with thoughts of her. I wish I could thank her for all that she had done for me, especially with Alice and Alois. Ever since I've kept the gris-gris with me – not a peep, which means now I can focus my thoughts on how to break free from Sebastian. If she were still here I know that she would help me but I must do this alone now.

Although, these days... I'm not so sure that I do want to.

...

I have never seen anything like this.

The bight midday sun cast its light over everything, illuminating all that came into its path.

This is phenomenal.

There are participants dressed in all kinds of brightly colored costumes and large floats made out of papier-mâché. Some of these floats contain various animals, or Native Americans, and there are humans too, like the President of the United States and Napoléon Bonaparte. There are many brass bands playing raucously as they swing their instruments around and dance around in the light. A heavy rhythmic pulse of African drums beats out and crashes through the air like claps of thunder as drum lines march through, surrounded by people dressed as voodoo priests in long white robes.

I can't help but feel slightly out of place, as I have never really been to a parade before, let alone anything quite like this. Looking over at Sebastian, I can see that he was quite enjoying himself as he eyes the bevy of beautiful women dancing and behaving rather indecently, in my opinion.

Even though it was around two in the afternoon, everyone is drinking and partying – generally having such a good time. The air smells of mint and spice from freshly cooked jambalaya that is on offer in the various restaurants we pass.

We turn the corner down a narrow alleyway. I can hear bawdy people laughing and ragtime music bleeding out through the various bars we walk past.

Sebastian leans over my shoulder. "Well my lord,  _laissez les bon temp rouler_."

" _Tch_ , laissez les bon temp rouler." I snort.

"It means let the good times roll."

"I know what it means."

"Well then, shall we enjoy what this town has to offer?" I glance over to him, his eyes have changed over to carmine and I know he can't help it. New Orleans being the hot bed of depravity that it is, there are so many wonderful tainted souls ripe for the taking, especially today, it must be so enticing. I can almost see him salivate with hunger and anticipation – I was not that far off. If we were here at night and in the thick of it all, it would be fantastic in itself, but to do this in the middle of the day? Electrifying. At this moment, to be the predator and not the prey – absolutely scintillating.

We choose to go into a bar. It is packed with people celebrating, drinking and singing to whatever song was being belted out by the band. It must be a well-known tune, as everyone in the bar knows the words and are singing along. I cast my eyes across the bar to look for my lunch, and there, in the corner – she's mine.

She is beautiful. Blond hair in a loose bun, placed at the top of her head with loose strands that waft around her childlike face. Large brown eyes the color of melted Belgium milk chocolate and full pink lips, which she keeps biting on nervously. This isn't her type of place; it is obvious by the way she is sitting, constantly fidgeting and looking around – she must have been brought here by someone else, but I don't see them around.

I stride over to her; each move I make relaxes me as I ready myself to go in. I roll my shoulders and prepare myself like a boxer but instead of using my fists, I think about how I'm going to get her out of here.

I approach her, leaning over the booth she is sat in, and look straight into her eyes.

"Are you alone?" I ask. She blinks twice at me as she looks up.

"N-no. I'm with a friend." She points to a woman near the bar who is draped over a man who has his hand firmly on her backside.  _Disgraceful._

"Would you mind if I keep you company?" She shakes her head and I'm in, I slide into the booth opposite her. As I do so, I can see Sebastian staring at me from the corner of the room, watching everything I do with a deep scowl on his face. Is he jealous, I wonder?

I decide to make a show of it; of course he can hear me so why not make it something worth listening to? "What is your name?"

"Charlotte." She replies timidly. With each exhale of air she makes, I can smell the sweetness of her soul permeating out of her.

" _Charlotte_ ," I repeat languidly, "how beautiful. Tell me, what's someone like you doing in a place like this? You obviously don't belong here." I lean forward over the table a bit, keeping my eyes firmly on hers. She blushes, obviously not used to the attention.

"My friend made me come." She says meekly. "I am waiting for her to finish so we can leave and go home." She sighs as she looks away. She is so adorable; I simply cannot wait to devour her.

"Go home? But the evening is only starting." I feign disappointment. She smiles back and now I know how I can leave with her. "How about this, I'll walk you home." I suggest. "That way your friend can stay here and I will get to spend a little more time with you." I move to stand in front of her. I look around but I can't see Sebastian, he must have gone with somebody else, fine then. Charlotte hesitates slightly but I hold out my hand and offer it to her regardless. " _Trust me Charlotte,_   _you're safe with me_."

She takes my hand and I help her to her feet. Putting my hand on the small of her back, I guide her out and towards the door. I let her exit first but as soon as I make my way through the threshold, a firm grip lands on my arm and pulls me back against the outside wall of the bar. I whip around to see Sebastian with that same annoyed scowl on his face, holding my arm as though he was about to rip it off.

He leans into me, "Why won't you ever speak that sweetly to me young master?" He purrs ever so slightly into my ear. Charlotte looks over at us curiously; I catch her eye and smile to reassure her.

"Because I don't want to." I curtly whisper back. Frustrated, Sebastian tightens his grip on my arm and drags me from my prey.

"Wait!" She calls after us.

"This does not concern you – go back to your tart of a friend." Sebastian hisses. She just stands there, dejected as we leave.

I am furious with him as he takes me down and back into a secluded alleyway.

He slams me against the wall, pinning my shoulders down with both hands and I know now we're going to fight.

"Why do you insist on infuriating me?" He snarls, bearing his teeth.

"I wasn't aware that I was." I respond casually.

"You know Ciel; you've never said that you loved me too, in all of these months."

"That's because I don't." I snort churlishly. That's a lie.

"Don't lie to me." He growls. I must admit, when he's angry like this, I'm tempted. I want nothing more than to take his scowling mouth and press it to mine.

"I'm not lying Sebastian." I lie again.

"All you ever do is lie to me."

" _Is that all I do_?" I coo softly, causing him to lean into me and to rest his elbows onto my shoulders. I lower my eye lids, wrap my left arm around his waist and draw him into me. I use my knee to push open his legs slightly as my upper thigh starts to grind into his groin.

" _No, that's not all you do_." He breathes out as he nuzzles the nape of my neck.

"Then tell me Sebastian, what is it that I do?"

"You infuriate me, you tempt me and you torment me."

"Torment you?" I smirk, knowing he can't see it.

"You torment me immensely as you make me want you,  _want all of you_." Ah, his voice in my ear, so sweet and delicious.

"You have all of me."

" _Then tell me that you love me_." He whispers.

I give up – I walk this line of love and hate so often that I may as well teeter off of the edge and just cave in to him.

"I-" A sharp shiver runs up my spine, causing me to shudder with my whole body and stopping the words form leaving my mouth. I gasp as the pain takes over me and Sebastian stands back, staring at me.

"Young master, what's the matter?"

" _What's that feeling_?"

"Ah, you've never experienced that before."

"Experienced what?" I pant.

"We're being summoned."

"Summoned?"

"Someone has performed a ritual to summon a creature like us. You don't have to go, I'm sure we're not the only demons in New Orleans."

I think for a moment and then decide.

"No, I think – I think I want to go."

"Ciel, you can't be serious?" He implores as he holds me by my shoulders.

"Why not?"

"Because you have never done this before."

"There is a first time for everything." I chuckle as I leave, pushing past him.

...

As soon as I made the decision to answer the summons, I step away from Sebastian and suddenly arrive in a room. It is dark, save for the flicker of dimly lit candles.

As I approach the light, I can see that the candles have been arranged in the fashion of a pentagram enclosed in a circle. It is different though, the pentagram has the points of a star but two points are curved into the shape of a heart. There is a figure in the center, huddled in a pile on the ground. I step closer to see what it is but I can't tell.

"Hello, who is it?" It calls out to me, the voice is feeble but it's definitely female.

I don't know how to respond as I have never been summoned before but thinking back to how it happened for me, I know only four words to say.

"What is your wish?" I ask, thinking it would be best to stay in the shadows.

"I don't – I don't have a wish." She replies as she starts to sit up.

"Then why did you call me?"

"I didn't know it would work. What are you?"

"I am a demon."

" _A demon_?" She gulps aloud as she struggles to her feet in the middle of the display of candles. I can barely see her but she is tall and wrapped in a heavy seeming cloak, which she tosses over her shoulders. "I didn't mean to summon a demon."

"Well you have and I am here."

She's suddenly quiet and unresponsive - perhaps this is a mistake.

"Well then, if you don't need me then I shall leave." I hate disappointment but if she didn't call for me –

"Wait demon."

"Yes?"

"What I wanted _, I mean_ , why I did this... I want revenge on my husband."

"Revenge?" This is a word I truly understand.

"Yes, I got this spell from a voodoo priest who said it would help me. Are you here to help me?"

I move forward but still stay in the shadows. With each click of the heel of my boots, I can see the outline of her body shudder and shake.

"What is your name?"

"Cybil."

"Well Cybil,  _I can help you._  I can form a contract with you and exact your revenge in any way you see fit.  _However,_  that will come at a price."

"Name it and it's yours!" She demands. I can't help but smile, she sounds like I did when I first met Sebastian. If only I knew then what I know now...

"What did your husband do to warrant such revenge?" I really don't need to know but I'm curious.

"He betrayed me." She hisses.

I step out of the shadows and right in front of her. She stares at me blankly but I know it's because she's scared.

"Well then, I think your wish is clear." I smile as I walk over the first set of candles, moving ever closer towards her as she staggers back.

"I would give anything to have him suffer as I have."

"Anything?"

"Anything." She reiterates firmly.

"You sound sure." I reach out and lightly stroke her face with the back of my hand. She doesn't flinch, not for one second; she just holds my gaze and never wavers.

"I am sure." She says fiercely. "He was my love,  _my life_  – my whole existence and he never cared – not once."

"Then ask me. Ask to form a contract with me and I will make sure you get your revenge." I purr as I move a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

Cybil slaps my hand away and grabs me by my shoulders.

" _Demon,_  form a contract with me. Help me punish my husband and those who ridicule me and make a fool of me!" She commands. I grab her by the waist and pull her into me, knocking over several of the candles.

"I will help you but in exchange, I want your soul."

"Fine! Take it, it's yours!"

The deal was struck.

I grab the fabric of her dress, which just covers her chest, and I tear a hole in it. I press my palm firmly against her breast bone as I hold her tightly in my other arm. She screams and it's like music, a blood curdling overture filling the air as I can feel the flesh beneath my palm start to burn. I can see the mark on the front of my hand start to form; it's in the shape of the pentagram she had laid out on the floor and I hold her tighter with each shriek she makes.

As soon as the mark appears vividly on my hand, I know it is done.


	12. About Her

"So, what will you do?" Cybil asks me as she gradually draws her fingers over the sign of our newly made contract. I can't help but admire it myself as I watch her touch it gently.

"I'll do whatever you ask of me until you get the revenge that you seek." I reply, sitting down on a nearby chair as I watch her touch her chest delicately.

I leave her in the middle of the candle lit pentagram where, after I marked her with our contract, I dropped her and she fell to her knees, choosing not to get back up.

Leaning back in the chair, I cross my legs and study her. I must say, for a marked woman, she is truly captivating. Her dark chocolate brown hair is in weakly curled ringlets that fall over her shoulders. Her skin is lightly tanned and her eyes a vibrant green that reminds me so much of Lizzie's.

Reflecting on Lizzie, I feel a sharp pang in my chest and I wonder if this is meant to be sadness? This is a feeling that I haven't felt in such a long time that it seems almost foreign to me now.

In this moment, I let my mind start to drift over to Lizzie and how she looked when I last saw her. Stoic, cold and almost as dead as me when she was at my funeral. That was six years ago, she will be twenty-one now, probably married. I wonder if she has any children or if she's even happy? It's not that I miss her, well, I do, but I think what I miss most is the life she encompasses. That familiarity, the routine and the tradition – life was just so simple then.

Alas, that life is not meant for me, especially as this is what I am now - a demon who has just successfully made a contract with this woman in front of me, who is now staring at me curiously. I must have drifted off thinking about Lizzie and my old life.

"So, this man who betrayed you is your husband?" I inquire.

"Yes."

"What did he do to betray you?"

"He has been having an affair with my best friend Ruby." She starts to stand up, closing her cloak over her chest to cover it.

"Why?"

"I cannot bear him a child so he is punishing me – especially now that Ruby is with child."

"I see." I don't really, but it is the only thing I could think of to say. What a silly thing, the woman cannot bear him a child, so what? Why torment her and have an affair?

"Demon?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask, do you have a name?"

"You can call me Ciel." I shrug as I drape my arm over the back of the chair, glaring at her.

The room is dark and I know she can't really see my face but I'm watching everything she does. How she stands, how she moves and carries herself. She is nothing but confident in each movement she makes. I'm impressed with her.

"Well then Ciel, how are you going to punish them?"

"Any way you see fit. I will only work on your command."

She nods as she hitches up her skirt and starts to walk over the candles.

"Don't do anything yet, I haven't figured out what I want."

"I can wait until you're ready." I reason. Well, it's true; I'm in no rush.

"Gideon was my whole world." She breathes as she starts to approach me.

"Gideon?"

"My husband."

"I understand."

"I did everything for him. He wanted nothing more than to have a child and I made it happen. I was once pregnant but unfortunately, I lost him – still born. I tried and tried over and over but I just couldn't get pregnant again. Gideon tried to understand and he took care of me, doting on me for a short while but that stopped once he started his dalliance with Ruby. He cast me aside like I was barren and empty, like I was nothing." She walks towards me slowly and seductively, switching her hips from side to side. "I tried everything to keep him. I even went to a Voodoo Priest for help, are you a part of Voodoo?"

I shake my head no, "I am not but I did know the late Marie Leveau."

She hums at my reply and nods.

"Well anyway, he gave me a potion to help me conceive but it didn't work and I almost all but gave up until Gideon told me that he wanted a divorce and that Ruby was pregnant with his child. I went back to the Voodoo Priest and asked for a spell to keep him but you came. I didn't realize my love spell summoned a demon."

"I'm not here to help you with love I'm afraid, I'm not even sure I understand the meaning myself."

"Do not worry, you're promising me revenge – I like that so much better." There is a glint in her eyes that is pure deviousness. "So you don't have anyone special in your life?"

"Sebastian." I let the name slip before I even have the chance to stop myself. I jerk myself upright as I sit up straight, silently cursing myself for letting his name slip.

" _Sebastian?_ " She purrs, as she starts to walk over to me. "So are you and Sebastian lovers?"

"Don't you have to be in love to be lovers?" I scoff folding my arms across my chest.

The truth is that I do love Sebastian. Although, it's a love I doubt this human could ever understand.

"I would like to meet him, is that something I can do?"

"Trust me Cybil, you do not want to meet Sebastian, he is vicious and dangerous."

"Then why are you with him?" She now stands in front of me, the candles softly light her face and her beauty is illuminated.

"Not out of choice I can assure you, we're contracted to each other as well." I wish I knew why I was being so confessional; I haven't even addressed these thoughts and feelings with myself, let alone speaking about them to a complete stranger.

Her mouth drops open to ask a further question but I know it's something I don't feel like discussing now, so I raise my hand to cut her off.

"What do you want to do now?" I ask. Tilting her head to the side, she smiles.

"I want to enjoy Mardi Gras and I want you to escort me."

"I think not - I should be getting back."

"Back to where? Hell?"

 _Hell?_  You could say that. Depending on the mood Sebastian is in when I get there, it could very well be hell. I just left him in the alleyway without so much as a good-bye, and he's probably going to be livid with me but that's something I am going to have to deal with once I get back.

"No, I don't reside in Hell." I answer.

"Then where do you live?" She places both hands on her hips, seemingly slightly disappointed that I don't live in the underworld.

"Actually, I live off of Bourbon Street."

"Bourbon Street? Excellent!" She claps her hands together and grins gleefully as she twirls around and heads towards the exit. "I must go home and change, Gideon will probably be with his whore tonight anyway and I really don't like to be alone."

"Shall I escort you home?" I offer, I'm not sure why but it seems like the gentlemanly thing to do.

"No, but I will meet you later, in say three hours for the second parade? I'll wear something blue to match your eyes." She titters.

"Meet me where?"

"On the corner of Canal and Basin Street, that's not that busy, considering it's on the parade route." She giggles. She is so carefree, beautiful and charming, I can't imagine any man letting her go as her husband has.

We bid our farewells and agree to meet at eight for the second parade.

…

Going home, I walk through the threshold and he's there, waiting for me, right across the foyer, he leans against the banister of the staircase. Ignoring him, I walk right past him towards the kitchen but he's on me like a shot.

Sebastian grabs my arm and throws me to the ground; he pounces me, his hands encircle my wrists, pinning them down on the ground as he straddles me.

"You left before we finished our conversation my lord." He growls at me, bearing his teeth. Oh yes, I remember what our last conversation was about; he wants me to say that I love him –  _no._

"I'm done talking about that." I smirk.

"I'm not done."

"What do you want to hear Sebastian?" I coo.

"You know what I want to-" He stops, leaning over, he sniffs me. "You were with a woman?" He sounds surprised and jealous, which is utterly delightful to me.

"I made a contract with a woman." I state truthfully. He sits upright and twists my hands over to see the back of my left hand. His exquisite face scrunches into a scowl as he sees my contract seal.

"You made a contract?"

"That's what I said isn't it?" I don't look at him, turning my head and looking towards the staircase. I could fight him off of me but what would be the point?

"A woman?"

"Yes."

"Are you doing this to make me jealous?"

"No, though you sound it." I simper.

"Did you even mention me?"

"And why would I?"

"Am I not important to you?"

"Don't flatter yourself Sebastian, I may be your world but you're not mine." I snort sarcastically, that should sting him sufficiently. "Besides, I've contracted – you should be proud of me, you taught me well." I pause for a moment, "Actually, you didn't teach me a thing."

"You will break this contract." He threatens.

"Oh? And why's that?" I still don't look at him, but I know he's angry.

"Because you don't belong to her, you belong to me."

"I do, do I? Since when?" He was right in that alleyway; I do exist to torment him now - and I enjoy every moment of it.

"Since I marked you and made you mine." He retorts. Fine Sebastian, you can have me but you cannot have all of what you want.

I'm not going to give into him – it's taking a lot of effort but I'm working as hard as I can to keep what I can of myself for me.

Then it dawns on me and I roll my head towards him, still averting my eyes, "You didn't want me to make a contract with someone else because then, I'm technically free of you."

Bending over, he kisses me roughly. I close my eyes and part my lips as his tongue protrudes and rudely enters my mouth but I put up no protest and I let it. As quickly as he enters, he releases my mouth and I tilt my head upwards, searching for them but they go without as Sebastian dips further to my ear.

"No matter where you go, no matter what you do, you will never be free of me as long as our contract is in place." He whispers, his voice is so sweet it is absolutely delicious.

I can't lie to myself, I love this and I love it when he's like this. There is something about being all that someone could want in this world that intrigues me and turns me on. Although, however I feel about it, my goal is still the same – I will be free of you Sebastian, just you wait.

My eyes flick up to meet his and, with a tighter grip of my wrists, he uses his knees to part my legs and leans into me, using the top of his thigh to rub against my groin. I'm aroused, I can feel my erection swelling and becoming hard as he grinds into me. He has a self-satisfactory smile on his face as he can feel me getting harder under the slightest nudge.

" _Damn you_." I whisper before he licks his lips and presses them to mine as he kisses me again.

God damn you Sebastian for having such a hold on me, and God has damned me, as I can never say no to you – you alone will be the end of me as you are the only one who is destroying me.

…

My eyes flutter open slowly as I start to stretch out in my bed. Once they fully adjust to the light, my eyes look over to my left and I see Sebastian sleeping soundly beside me.

Demons don't really need sleep, it's a luxury for us but when we can indulge, we do.

Before I left Cybil earlier that evening, I agreed to meet with her again, as per her order. She probably wants to go home and change first because I had ripped the front of her dress.

I slowly start to rise up to sit against the headboard. Sebastians' back is to me and I fight the desire to run my hands over his shoulder blades and the pronounced muscles of his back. I even stop short of stroking his face and gently sweeping the inky black hair that has fallen over his face.

I have to stop this.

Every time I look at him I desire him more and more which makes it harder to sever my feelings for him. I can't keep going on like this; it hurts me more and more each day. I am nothing short of confused as I love him and despise him all at the same time. I want to stay with him but I can't wait to leave. I don't want him to ever touch me but I want him to penetrate me so hard that I can never walk straight again.

Sighing quietly, I discretely slip out of bed and try to find my clothes.

Finding something that I deem suitable, I quietly and swiftly dress. Once I finish buckling my boots, I head for the door, stopping to look over my shoulder to cast my eyes over him one more time. He's turned over and propped himself up on his elbow, resting his chin in the palm of his hand, I didn't even hear him stir but here he is, wide awake and staring at me.

"Go back to sleep."

"Not unless you're here with me." He grins. I shake my head.

"I have to meet Cybil, it was an order."

He tosses the sheets back and my eyes land over his perfect body. There is nothing I would want more than to go back into bed and into his arms but a deal is a deal.

"Then let me come too." He suggests.

"Absolutely not." I bark. "I'm leaving now so you'll have to entertain yourself." I smile at him as I turn back towards the door.

I walk along the streets where everyone is still partying, drinking and having a good time. The second, larger, evening parade is about to begin and people are starting to line both sides of the streets as they wait for it to begin.

Cybil and I agreed to meet at the corner of Canal Street and Basin Street but she is nowhere to be seen. I look around for her in the crowd but I can't seem to find her. Where on Earth can she be?

Suddenly, I feel my left hand start to burn. It must be Cybil, is she in trouble?

As I dart down Basin Street, I can feel the burning sensation on my hand increase, as I get closer to an alleyway. Hearing voices, I stop, only poking my head around the corner slightly so I can get a better view of the situation.

It is Cybil all right, but she is pinned against the wall as a man in black holds her against it by her shoulders. I didn't have to see his face, I already know who it is.

"I want you to break your contract." He demands.

"And why would I do that?" She inquires; her tone is curt and huffy as Sebastian holds her still.

"Because if you don't, I'll kill you."

"Ah, so you must be Sebastian?" She states calmly. I should not have told her his name; I feel I have only made this situation worse for her.

"Pardon?" Sebastians' lips curl into a smile.

"Ciels' lover? Have I got it wrong?"

"So, he did mention me?"

"Not in so many words but I'm as intelligent and perceptive as any man. I can read between the lines." She quips.

"If you know who I am, then you'll forgive me when I do this." He holds her face in between his large hands and holds her perfectly still. Her eyes widen in shock as she realizes that she is about to die.

It's time I intervene.

"Wait!" She shouts and I stop, "I could call him and he would be right here, non? Isn't that how the contract works?" She inquires, not knowing that I'm already near. Even from here, I can hear her pulse race frantically in her chest.

"That depends, the more visible the contract, the closer the link."

She slides her hands up and between their bodies and unbuttons the five buttons that cover her chest. Pulling the fabric aside with both hands, I can see the glow of our seal on her chest. Sebastian looks down, his face is bathed in the bright lavender glow and I see Cybil smile. Releasing her face but holding her shoulder back with his left hand, he outlines the seal with his fingertips.

"I'd say that's pretty visible, wouldn't you?" She mocks sarcastically.

"Why your chest?" His voice is a low growl as he examines her seal.

Cybil shrugs her free shoulder. "We have something in common Sebastian." She says to him with a half smile.

"How do you reckon?"

"I have a love I cannot have all to myself too, that's why I made the contract. Don't you see? We're the same, you and I." She whispers and I listen in to their conversation curiously. "I can help you have him." She purrs.  _What does she mean by that?_  I wonder.

"How?"

"Let me live and I promise, I'll do everything I can to help you." Sebastian lets go of her and she holds out her hand in front of him. "Deal?"


	13. Sinful Nature

“I think we should have a ball.” Cybil announces.

“A ball?” I repeat.

“Yes, to welcome you both to New Orleans.”

It’s been a month since I made my contract with Cybil and nothing has happened, although, I’m not really sure what I expect. Especially, as I remember once, Sebastian told me that not all contracts were like ours, but this wait is ridiculous. I’m beginning to wonder exactly what she wants of me.

As I kill time waiting for her command, she has me follow her on various excursions through the town like a lap dog. A fact that hasn’t gone unnoticed by Sebastian, who likes to accompany me on these excursions as well. Each time I’m sent out to fetch and carry, he’s obviously tickled, seeing the irony with each shopping trip.

Currently, the three of us are sat in the drawing room of her opulent plantation. It definitely has Cybils’ touches all over it, vibrant plush green couches and chaise lounges with gilded gold leaf vases and lamps. The drapes that hang from the ceiling to the mahogany flooring are a creamy color with a gold brocade ‘fleur de lis’ pattern stitched into them.

Her servants, of which there are many, rush around us – offering us afternoon tea and cakes to which Sebastian and I politely decline. He is completely relaxed as he sits next to Cybil on the chaise lounge, wearing a broad grin on his face as he observes the swift movements of the servants. I suspect that he is glad to be on the receiving end of the service for a change.

I sit back in the chair and cross my legs and massage my temple with my index finger. If I were capable of getting a headache, I most certainly would have one by now out of sheer frustration.

“We’ve been in New Orleans for over five years now, a ball is completely redundant.” I sigh.

“Well that doesn’t matter, it’s about time you made your social debuts.” She chortles, totally ignoring my discomfort.

“We are not debutants Cybil, this isn’t necessary.” I try to maintain my composure.

“Well I know it’s not but it’s something I want to do for you by way of saying thank you.”

I furrow my brow at her, what does she mean by saying thanks? I don’t want a ball; I want her soul – but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth it.

“My lord, don’t you think a ball would lift your mood?” Sebastian pipes in.

“That’s the spirit Sebastian!” She claps her hands together excitedly. “See, _he_ wants to have a ball.”

Even though there is no air in my lungs, I exhale loudly. This is the last thing I want – how frivolous and bourgeois. Of course Sebastian would want a ball, from what I understand of his previously life before me, he was a frequent guest at many a social gathering, especially with kings and queens – he even told me as such when he taught me how to dance all of those years ago. This is the lifestyle he is accustomed to and, as far as I’m concerned, he can keep it.

“I didn’t like balls when I was an Earl in my human life, why would I want one now?”

“Well, if we have a ball, then you can meet my Gideon.” She slides in.

How sly she is, she knows exactly what to say to get me to concede to attending this ball.

Since our contract began, I have yet to meet the illustrious husband whom I’m meant to punish on her behalf. He doesn’t attend any of the small gatherings she throws, and he makes himself scarce whenever we’re around. It’s almost as though she plans on me not meeting him, which she knows will mark the beginning of the end of the contract. I just want to meet the man I’m supposed to exact her revenge upon – it’s simply a matter of courtesy.

“About that, at what point to do you want to obtain your revenge? We can’t just be here at your beck and call whenever you feel like shopping.” I decide it’s time we get this contract back on track.

“But don’t you like spending time with me?” She pouts.

“It’s not that,” _Yes, it’s that._ “I’m just wondering when you’ll let me know what it is you want.”

“What I want?”

“When we made our contract, you made it quite clear – you have to have a wish and yours was revenge on your husband and those who humiliated you.”

“Oh, it still is, I just haven’t thought about how I wish you to go about it yet.”

She smiles as she picks up her teacup and daintily takes a sip from it. I feel like she’s toying with me, although, to what end?

“My lord, don’t rush her, she’ll figure it out when the time is right.” Sebastian interjects.

“Exactly Sebastian. I’m just not ready yet.” She sits her teacup back down on the saucer and places it down on the table in front of her, lightly tapping Sebastians’ knee in the process.

Ever since that night at Mardi Gras, Sebastian and Cybil have been as thick as thieves. I can’t say that I approve of this at all.  They talk, they whisper and they confer with one another. Most of the time, from what I can gather, it’s about me.

I don’t know why Sebastian would have so much to say about me to her but he does. They mention voodoo a lot, and I try not to be paranoid as I still have the various items Marie gave me in my possession, along with books and other associated things I have squirreled away on my own. They help me and make me feel that she is still with me even though she is long gone from this world.

I still have to keep it all hidden from Sebastian who seems to have this unnatural hatred of it, perhaps he knows that once I figure out the hidden messages Marie has left for me, I will finally be free of him and, of course, he certainly doesn’t want that.

“So, it’s settled, a week from tomorrow, we shall have a ball.”

 

...

 

It is the night of the ball and I am not looking forward to this at all.

Cybil has sent us two excellently tailored suits as an additional thank you for accompanying her on most recent shopping excursion. Honestly, that woman has more money than she has sense. There is something about the nouveau riche that I find abhorrent – there is absolutely no class about them, they know the cost of everything and the value of nothing, and she embodies that. Constantly throwing her money around as though her wealthy status will impress, however, it does nothing for me.

I button my shirt half way and I slide on my trousers, fastening them together and smoothing down the pleat in the front. I spot my gris-gris amongst my accoutrements, and slip it into my pocket. I never leave without it. If I go too far from it, then the voices start to come back and I can’t have that. Besides, when I have it around me, it feels like Marie is still with me and that thought alone gives me a sense of warmth.

I sigh heavily as I let my thoughts travel to Marie but before I can ruminate on them, there is a slight knock on the door and Sebastian enters. It’s funny, even though we live together, hunt together and even sleep together – he still allows me this small sense of privacy by letting me have my own room and knocking before entering. Typically, he would have just entered but these days, he seems to be more polite.

I pick up my tie and flick it behind my neck as I attempt to tie it. I’ll admit, tying a bowtie is a lot harder than my usual bow and so I fumble over it a few times.

Sebastian comes up behind me; his chest just rests on my shoulders as his long arms reach around my neck. As I continue to fumble, he fastens the remaining buttons as he watches my frustration. His hands slip in between mine as he takes the loose ends of my tie. I drop my hands down to my side as I let him tie my bowtie.

“Are you excited about going to this ball?” He wonders.

“No.” I reply flatly.

“Oh?”

“It’s just another garish party that she throws, I can’t imagine it being any different than the others. Just perhaps with more people.”

He brings the two ends of the fabric together. “I don’t know, I kind of feel bad for her.”

“I can’t imagine that you have any feelings at all.” I reply coolly, which causes him to grin as he stops for a moment and leans further over on top of me.

“I have feelings for you.” He purrs into my ear.

“Leave off.” I move my head from his lips and he chuckles lightly.

“Well, in any case, she seems bored and lonely.” He loops the fabric.

“What should we care if she is?” I snort. He stops again and stares at me in our reflection.

“Are you telling me that you have no compassion for her at all?” He asks me spuriously.

“Are you telling me that you do?”

“No.”

“Then no.” I reply.

“You are truly becoming a demon.” He smiles as he continues to tie my bowtie into a knot at the base of my throat.

My eyes switch over to the lustrous carmine color as I gaze at them in my reflection.

“ _Becoming a demon_.” I repeat softly to myself. It’s been over five years since I’ve turned and I’ve felt no different dead then I did alive. I can see that I have physically changed, I’m no longer weak, feeble or sickly – I’m much stronger then I have ever been I can even take Sebastian in a fight, not that he has challenged me recently, but I know I can. I seem to have aged as I’m a little taller now and my childish face has matured. What would old acquaintances say if they saw me, now that I am no longer helpless? They would probably say that I look more and more like my father everyday. My father, my mother, what would they say if they knew me now? I’m no longer the innocent child that they once knew; I’m no longer anything human.

“Well, I can’t wait for the ball, I can’t wait to mingle.” Sebastian interrupts my thoughts as he finishes with the tie, straightening it out.

I turn my head to him sharply.

“Sebastian, are you insane? We can’t mingle with these people.”

“What do you mean? We’ve done this before.” He shrugs.

“Well, yes, when we were hunting but not in a social way.”

“What does it matter? Hunting or social? I’m bored and we’re going.”

“You’re not bored, just hungry.”

“Aren’t you? Come now my lord, you can’t tell me that this isn’t exciting?”

“What is?”

“Hunting prey in such a social arena. It’s electrifying, isn’t it?”

“I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little enticed by it all but no, it’s too risky.”

“What’s life without risk?” He grins as he completes straightening out my bowtie, resting his forearms on my shoulders. “It’ll be like old times, do you remember being at the Viscounts party and on the hunt for truly delicious souls?”

Sebastian looks at me in the reflection of the mirror. He smiles as he grabs the knot of the tie in one hand with the other he places it over my chest.

His hand trails down from my chest to my side and down onto my waist. He grips it firmly, causing me to shiver. Hands continue to travel to my front as they grip and pull at my shirts and explore the concealed skin underneath. I say nothing as he uses his thumbs to push me forwards, causing me to bend over – my own hands land palms down on the dresser tabletop.

“What do you want?” He growls as he bends over and nips at my earlobe. I smile as he fondles the latch of my belt, tugging and unraveling it from its loops. I watch him in the reflection of the mirror. His nibble fingers unbuttoning, undressing and freeing me, sticky hot breath, breathing onto my neck.

I know exactly what I want Sebastian, I want you and I hate myself for it. I wish I had the resolve to say no to you, to make you stop, to push you off of me but I don’t.

Instead, I want you to take me, to penetrate me and control me. This is wrong – I know it’s so very wrong but I need you. Fill me to the brim and make me cry out your name, I beg of you – although I still say nothing at all.

Before my lips can even part, his hands go down my hips and to the sides of my thighs and he lands on the small talisman in my pocket.

“What is this in your pocket?”

I don’t want to tell him that it’s the gris-gris Marie gave me so long ago. If I’m without it, then the voices come back – Alice and Alois – they will come crashing back. I need this to keep them quiet and to keep me safe. So far, it’s worked.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing – especially when it’s quite obviously something.”

I have to distract him.

Using all of my strength, I fight him and turn over onto my back, facing him. Pushing myself up, I sit on the tabletop; I stretch out and wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him into me.

“I’m telling you not to worry about it, it’s nothing, so don’t worry about it.” I coo sweetly. He seems to be buying it, at least for the time being as he starts to relax. Sebastian bends over and starts to nuzzle my neck.

“All right, if you insist, I won’t worry about it - for now.” He pauses as he starts to lick the side of my throat, causing my skin to break out into goose pimples. “I’ll let you have your secret for the time being, but, I will find out eventually.” He assures me and I don’t doubt it. That was close, I have to keep the gris-gris with me at all times but now I need to think of a better place of hiding it.

“We have to get going.” I exhale as his tongue makes light work of my neck and I can’t help but moan as his hand finds it’s way onto my lap, his palm massaging me.

With his other hand, he moves my collar down and trails his tongue down to the free space. I grip the edge of the dresser as I push my hips into his hand, beckoning him to squeeze harder. He doesn’t, instead he bites down hard on the base of my neck.

“ _Ahhh_ …” I cry out. “W-what are y-you doing?” I exasperatedly pant as a wave of pleasure and pain crashes through me.

“I’m marking you.” He mumbles into my flesh as he bites down harder.

“ _M-marking me_?” I whimper as his massage turns into rubbing and I buck against his hand.

“You belong to me, so I’m marking you.”

For now I belong to you. For now, I submit to your will. For now, I can’t help myself and I give in to you but mark my words Sebastian, I will be free of you soon.

As soon as he’s satisfied with the mark on my neck, he abruptly stops biting me, and steps back to admire his handiwork, leaving me panting and wanting more of his touch. 

“Come now my lord, we must be off.” He flashes a devilish smile as he starts to walk out of the door, leaving me wanting.

The bastard.

 

…

 

Dressed to the nines, Sebastian and I are ready for the ball.

Stepping outside, he delicately drapes my cloak over my shoulders and I attach the clasps together and adjust it around my neck as he hails a hansom cab. Finding one quickly, Sebastian escorts me in and takes a seat opposite me.

As we ride through the streets of New Orleans, a veil of anxiousness descends upon me. This ball is not something I care to go to, and I try to ignore Sebastians’ enthusiasm as I avert my eyes from him and stare vacantly out of the carriage window, watching the town streets fly past us.

I keep my hand in my pocket as I run my thumb over the gris-gris. I can’t help but exhale as I recognize the scenery around us and I know we’re getting close. Suddenly, everything feels tight, my throat and my chest – I feel like I’m suffocating, which is ridiculous as I have no need to breathe. I realize it now, my existence is not my own. They control me, Sebastian and Cybil – everything is always on their terms – they are the ones who are suffocating me. I didn’t want to go to this ball in the first place and yet, here I am, almost there and dreading it.

More fool me.

I was thinking earlier that I had changed, that I had become powerful and it turns out that it is nothing more than an illusion. Sebastian still owns me, Cybil rules our contract, if I travel too far away from the gris-gris, the voices come back to haunt me. Everything is out of my control.

“Is something wrong my lord?”

“ _Hm_?”

“It’s just that you seem distracted.” Sebastian tilts his head to the side and stares directly at me.

“Why won’t you let me go Sebastian?” I know I must sound frustrated but he just smiles at me.

“Why would I?”

“You’ve had your fun.”

“Have you not?” He asks.

I snort lightly at the notion. Of course, there have been times when I have been taken over by immense pleasure but to say it’s been fun? What is fun about our torturous relationship? I don’t know the answer to that, but the truth is there is something about him that keeps me coming back. I know I can’t leave any time and that I’m his captive prey, and I’ve stopped actively trying to not love him.

“No, I have not been having fun.” I lie but I so wish it were the truth.

“Why must you continue to lie?” He sees straight through me but instead of coming up with another lie, I just shrug. He looks at me curiously as he moves towards me, crouching down in front of my knees.

“What do you talk to Cybil about?” I wonder aloud.

“Love.”

“Love?”

“Yes, she tells me that she can help me get you to love me. A silly notion but I allow her to entertain the thought.”

“Why is it a silly notion?”

“Because I know you already love me.”

“Yes, I love you Sebastian.” I admit, the words spilling from my lips before I even had the chance to stop them.

Sebastian takes my left hand into his and kneels over, gently touching his lips to my knuckles.

“Now, was that so hard to say?”

“In more ways than one.” I grumble.

“What do you mean?” He arches an eyebrow at me.

“I mean that I love you Sebastian but I don’t want to.”

“Surely you don’t mean that?”

“Don’t I? Look at your version of love, how can I want that?”

“It’s not about what you want, it’s about what you have.”

“If this is it, then you can keep it. I don’t want this.”

“You’ll change your mind, in time.”

Before I can respond, the carriage comes to a halt and we both look over towards the window.

We’ve arrived.


	14. Things Are Sometimes Tragic

Sebastian offers me his hand and I step out of the carriage.

 

I’m still not completely sold on the idea of attending this ball but it’s too late, I’m here now. How I long for the ability to make a decision on my own, every choice I wish to make is always taken from me and I am left with no option but to obey.

 

We make our way up the pathway towards the entrance of the plantation, and I can hear the ethereal rhythm of a string orchestra playing out a Viennese waltz in the background. I’m not ready for this nor do I even wish to attend but Sebastian places his hand on the small of my back and guides me in, it’s as if he can sense my hesitation and is trying to reassure me – a gesture I greatly appreciate. 

 

Once we go in, we stand in the foyer and wait for a moment. I cast my eyes over towards the main reception area and it is thronged with people looking absolutely resplendent in evening attire, suits with long tails and morning coats, tight feathery ball gowns that glide over the floor with each step taken – it is the picture of sheer elegance and I would expect nothing less.

 

An attendant reaches around behind me and unfastens the hook of my cloak from around my neck. I shrug it off, stepping out of it as I let them take it off of me. I turn to see Sebastian looking around whilst adjusting his white gloves, his eyes are wide with anticipation and his lips are moist, almost salivating. I can sense it; he is on fire and can’t wait to just jump right into the thick of it all. This is Sebastian, he is a skilled hunter and this is his element.

 

Then again, I’m on fire too.

 

We can smell them from a mile away, the heady and intoxicating mixture of delicious, ripe and depraved souls. Whenever anyone opens their mouths, the sweet smell permeates through parted lips like words that spill out whenever they utter a sentence. Even though I don’t agree with hunting here, I know I am going to struggle. Cybils’ friends are like her in almost every way; vacuous and devoid of any moral credence. Then again, just like her, their souls also stand to be the most decadent of morsels. Thinking about it, I realize that I’m not hungry, I’m ravenous – I can charm anyone I want and make them mine for the taking, perhaps I can indulge in just one?

 

Chewing on my lower lip, I stop and stare for a target but as I search, two hands land firmly on my shoulders, pulling me back and squeezing them tightly.

 

“Well my lord, you can’t tell me that this doesn’t excite you.” Sebastian purrs from behind me. He’s right, it does. All of these beautiful, delectable souls – who wouldn’t want to sample? But no, I must refuse my instinct.

“I won’t lie, it does excite me but no, I’m not going to partake – not here.” I may not be able to see it but I know he must be sulking. “If you want to, you can, I won’t stop you this time.”

“But what’s the fun of it if I can’t do it with you?” He coos as he runs his hands down my sides and lands on the talisman in my pocket. Deftly dipping in his hand and taking it out, he squeezes it firmly and spins me around to face him. “What is this?”

“I told you earlier, it’s nothing.” I step out of his grip and try to snatch it back, but he holds it away from me.

He folds his arms across his chest. “I didn’t believe you then and I don’t believe you now.”

 

I need to diffuse the situation before it becomes a fight, which it very well will do if I can’t get him to stop and leave it – I also need to get it back.

“Sebastian please, not here.” I whisper as I place my hand on his crossed arms.

“Then when? You do a pretty good job lying and hiding things from me.”

I shake my head. “I’m not hiding anything.”

“There you go again.” He snorts.

“I’ll tell you about it when we get home, okay?” I promise him. I may not tell him the whole truth but at least I’ll be in my own territory where I can spin the conversation into my favor, something I can’t do here.

 

My hands drift from his forearms over to his hand and I’m so close to getting it back.

 

“My boys!” Cybil greets us as she walks over, Sebastian steps away from me and I lose my chance.

“Good evening Cybil, what a beautiful ball.” He smiles at her.

“It is isn’t it?” She enthuses, but then stops for moment as she regards what’s in his hand. “Sebastian, what are you doing with gris-gris?”

“Gris-gris?”

“Yes, the thing in your hand. Why would something like you need a talisman for protection?”

“A talisman for protection?”

“Yes. Why are you repeating everything? Is everything all right?”

 

Cybil, just stop, please, stop.

 

Sebastian turns to me and I hesitate. “Protection, my lord? From whom?”

I plaster on the brightest smile I can and I turn to Cybil.

“Yes, everything is perfectly all right. We just got here and I’m a little apprehensive about meeting new people, you understand.”

 

I can feel the burning gaze of Sebastians’ eyes blazing two holes into me as I brush off his question. I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this one, now he knows about the gris-gris, he will not be able to let it go. I stand closer to him and quickly snatch it back from him and stuff it in my pocket.

“I told you, I’ll tell you about this when we get home.” I mutter to him under my breath.

 

Cybil scans us but ignores the tension that is clearly brewing between Sebastian and I as she clasps her hands together with a light smile. She comes behind us, links her arms in ours and marches us into the main reception.

 

“Come, there are some people I would like to introduce you to.” She titters.

“We’re not done here.” He growls at such a low level that Cybil misses it.

“I didn’t expect so.” I reply.

 

Cybil ferries us around from person to person like a hummingbird looking for nectar. All of them were quite the same, similar background, similar interests and similar mannerisms – all very droll and boring. It’s hard for me to feign interest in things that I don’t particularly care for; it always has been, ever since I was a child. Although, with that said, I used to be more adept to faking it then but now, I can’t seem to concentrate enough to put the effort in.

 

Currently, I’m trapped speaking with a purely pompous individual, he reminds me of the Viscount Druitt a little but without the class, the charm and the disgusting deviancy. As we’re talking, I watch Sebastian out of the corner of my eyes. He goes over to Cybil and leans over to whisper in her ear. She giggles; nods and they leave the main reception room together.

 

I have to follow them, I need to know what they’re talking about, I _have_ to know – especially as I don’t trust Cybil alone with him.

 

Making my excuses to the world’s most tedious man, I follow closely behind them, taking care to cover myself, as I know Sebastian will be able to smell me in the air, although, it’s hard for me to track his scent. The smells of the room are so thick and intoxicating, it’s a mixture of the sweetest chocolate and the richest most pungent red wine, it makes me salivate as I inhale it all in but I have to focus on the task at hand.

 

I creep ever so closely as I hide behind the corner, like a spy, watching them and trying to listen in on their conversation.

 

“What does it do?” I overhear him ask her as he rests his back against the wall.

“As I’ve said, it’s a talisman for protection, it seems that he is protecting himself from you.” She answers.

 

No Cybil, that’s not true. Don’t you know what Sebastian will do?

 

“Would something like that work?” He wonders and she nods.

“I’ve heard about them being used for this sort of thing. Sebastian, take my word for it, if you want to make him yours, then you have to take it from him. The gris-gris is the only thing standing in your way.” She advises.

 

It’s not what they think; it has nothing to do with Sebastian. In this instant, I’m scared - terrified. I don’t want him to take this away from me because THEY will return if he does, but I also don’t know what to do. I have to stop her; I have to go over there. I quickly maneuver my way away from the corner and try to rush over there. However, in my haste, I accidently crash into someone, sending him back slightly.

 

“My apologies, I wasn’t paying attention.” I apologize as I extend my hand out.

“Not at all, it was my fault.” He says in return as he accepts my hand and shakes it firmly. I look up at him and he is a tall figure of a man with a refined ruggedness of him. His face looks strangely familiar as I think I may have made his acquaintance already.

“Pardon me but have we met before?” I inquire but he shakes his head no.

“Not that I remember, I tend not to make an appearance at my wifes’ parties as I find them to be quite dull.” He states honestly and my eyes widen, well prey, it’s about time we meet.

“You must be Gideon.”

“You must have heard of me?” He smirks and I nod.

“I have, you’re infamous.”

“And you are?”

“Forgive me, where are my manners? My name is Ciel, Ciel Phantomhive.” I introduce myself to him and he looks me up and down, studying me.

“Then you are the guest of honor this evening.” He bows slightly. “My wife hasn’t stopped going on about you, she’s told me so much, I feel like we’re old friends.”

 

So she does speak about me? Although, I’m sure she’s left out an integral part.

 

“Forgive me for asking but if you tend not to make an appearance, then why are you at this one?”

“I had to meet the man who has caught my wifes’ eye.”

“Excuse me?” I am completely taken aback by that statement.

“The way she enthuses about you, don’t tell me there is nothing going on between you, she’s even told me as such. I’m not mad, you aren’t the first and you probably won’t be the last.”

 _That little bitch._ I curse to myself.

“I can assure you, Sir, there is nothing going on between your wife and I, we have just become good friends over the last few months and nothing more.”

“Pity.” He snorts callously, “If you were in the picture then maybe she would have been more accommodating to my wish.”

“And what is your wish?” I can’t help but say, it’s almost second nature to me. I don’t know how I must appear to him but his face softens as he looks back at me. I flash him my most charming smile and I can hear his racing heart rate start to slow – I’ve got him now.

“Since you’re good friends with her, then you must know that I have been asking my dear wife for a divorce.” He says rather flippantly.

“I am aware, you have someone else?”

 

He reaches out and quickly grabs my arm and squeezes it firmly.

 

“It isn’t like that Ciel, you must believe me.” His eyes lower as he looks at me.

“Then what is it like?”

“Cybil, she… you wouldn’t understand.” He sighs.

“Wouldn’t I?”

“You’re her friend; she’s thrown this ball in your honor so it wouldn’t be right.”

“Gideon, may I skip the formalities and call you that?” He nods and I place my hand on his. “You can tell me, I’ll keep your secrets.” I reassure him.

 

I can see his whole body start to relax around me. I am good at this, Sebastian has taught me well. From the lightest touch, a look in my eye or the timbre of my voice I can command and control anyone – Gideon is no different.

 

“What has she told you about me?” His voice is low and calm.

“She has said that because she cannot give you a child, you had an affair with her best friend and now want a divorce.”

“That’s not completely true.”

“Then what’s the truth?”

“She uses Voodoo.”

“Voodoo? Well I know that she has sought out the help of a Voodoo priest to help her have a baby-”

“Is that what she’s told you?” I nod, “Well, it’s a lie.”

“What do you mean?”

“When she first fell pregnant, it’s true that she lost our baby but she never meant to be pregnant in the first place, she used Voodoo to miscarry our child.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Cybil has been using Voodoo to act as if she’s pregnant but in all reality, she’s not.”

“Why would she falsify her pregnancy?”

“To keep me. Cybil will go to any lengths to keep what she possesses. She never even wanted a child, she just did what she thought would keep me around. You must understand, I would have done anything for her, whether she could bear a child or not, I loved her. However, now, after learning about the lengths she went to, just for a lie. I couldn’t be with her anymore. I didn’t carry on with Ruby because of the baby, I went to her because she was sympathetic to me.”

“Stop, you needn’t say more, I understand.” I halt him.

 

And there it is, with that comment alone, I now know that I’ve been lied to and used. I think for a moment about what I want to do next and I realize what I must do.

 

“Run.” I state coldly as he looks at me curiously.

“W-what do you mean?”

“I need you to leave this party tonight, you can return in the morning but for now, it’s best if you go.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Your wife summoned me to kill you but I have a better plan in mind.” I smile deviously.

“Summoned you to kill me?”

“Yes, I am-”

“Ciel, chéri. What are you doing over here?” Cybil interrupts me as she comes over to over to us.

“Good evening Cybil.” Gideon greets her and she smiles coquettishly at him.

“Gideon, my darling, _what are you doing here_?”

“This is my house too Cybil.” He quips.

“Of course it is, of course.” She pauses for a moment as she looks at him, and then turns to me. “Come Ciel, there is someone else I’m dying to have you meet.” She coos as she yanks me away from Gideon – who looks at me curiously as I’m pulled away.

 

Cybil rushes through the party as she pulls me along. In truth, I can overpower her but I’m interested in where she wants to lead me so I willingly follow her, putting up no struggle.

 

After a while, she marches me into an empty bedchamber. I look around the room and notice that this must be their room. I have been through various rooms in this vast estate but I’ve never seen their room. It is lavishly decorated, as it would be being Cybils’ home. There is an ornate marble fireplace on a nearby wall, lit with a crackling fire, and beautiful, lavish fixtures everywhere, along with portraits of the couple.

 

Once in, she flings me to the side and slams the door shut.

 

“What are you doing?” She scowls.

“What are you doing? Wasn’t the purpose of tonight was for me to meet Gideon?”

“I am just not ready for you to meet him yet.”

“Is that because this whole thing you concocted is a lie?”

“No – that’s not true.”

“You are a whore and a liar.” I spit and she whips around and pushes me in the chest, I stagger back but find my footing.

“How dare something like you pass judgment on me.” She hisses at me.

 

I can feel my eyes switch over from their usual blue to carmine, as I’m mad now, seething.

“You lied to me Cybil.” I growl.

“Something you’re familiar with doing, I’m sure.” She jeers.

“Gideon is completely innocent.”

“Does it matter? You’re only here to fulfill _my_ wish not his.”

“I have half a mind to rip your heart out through your chest.” I snarl as I leap over and throw her against the wall, hard. I pin her against it by pressing down on her shoulders.

“ _Please, you don’t understand_.”

“That’s the second time I’ve heard that this evening.” I spit as I move my head closer to her. “If you think you can manipulate me as easily as you did Sebastian then you have another thing coming to you.”

“Ciel, please, you’re hurting me.” She whines feebly.

“I’m going to do a lot more to you than this. Now, tell me the truth.”

“You’re a demon, why do you care?”

“Because I still have one shred of humanity left in me. It’s thin but it’s there and with it, I cannot kill an innocent man just for your pleasure.”

“It isn’t for my pleasure, can’t you see? He’s the love of my life.”

“Then why?”

“Because if you kill him our contract is complete and then you’ll have to kill me.” Her eyes widen and glisten brightly as she speaks – it’s hard for me to understand her reasoning, as she seems as though she’s possessed.

 

“I don’t understand, your wish is for both of you to die?”

 

She smiles sardonically as she nods.

 

“Don’t you get it, he’ll never leave Ruby, now that she’s having his baby – he’s chosen her but it should be me, I’m his wife. This is… it’s the only way Gideon and I can freely be together, we can be together in the afterlife.”

She’s mad, absolutely insane but I can’t help but smirk at her comment, “There is no afterlife Cybil, just death.” I state as I push her deeper into the wall.

“Sebastian!” She chokes out.

 

Just like that, right on cue, I can here Sebastian right behind me. He puts his hand on my shoulder and grips it firmly.

 

“What are you doing my lord?” He purrs.

“What are you doing here?” I growl in return.

“You promised you’d help me if I helped you with Ciel.” Cybil splutters out.

“I did.” He agrees.

“What are you talking about?” I question as I look at the both of them. Sebastian rests his chest on my back as he swiftly reaches into my pocket and pulls out the gris-gris, presenting it to me in his open palm.

“What is this?”

“You know damn well what it is.” I bark.

“I want you to tell me.”

“It’s gris-gris, Marie gave it to me before...”

“Before you killed her.”

“Yes.”

“And what’s it for?” His voice is a low rumble that vibrates right through me.

“Protection.” I answer as he gets off of me; my head follows him as walks towards the fireplace on the opposite side of the room.

“Protection from me?” He arches his eyebrow, as he gets closer to it.

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying, I swear it’s not.” I whimper pathetically as I start to loosen my grip on Cybil and Sebastian holds his hand over the fire. “Please don’t Sebastian.”

“Do it, it’s the only way.”

“Shut up Cybil!”

“If you want him, then get rid of the only obstacle in your path.” She taunts him.

“Sebastian, don’t!”

 

He ignores me and throws the talisman into the flames, which start to engulf it. I watch motionless as it shrivels and burns. I let Cybil go and she slides her back down the wall, panting lightly and holding her shoulders.

 

“How could you?” I utter softly.

“I told you, I want all of you and I wasn’t about to let some disgusting bit of witchcraft keep you from me.”

“Don’t you get it Sebastian? You already had me, I was always yours.” I admit.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s lying. Like you always said-”

“Shut up Cybil! What do you know?” I hiss.

“I know more than you think.” She replies mockingly.

 

That’s it; I’ve had it with her.

 

“You know nothing, absolutely nothing about our relationship.” I spit as I grab her by her throat and hold her against the wall. “I should have killed you when I had the chance, a mistake I shall rectify now.”

“No.” She cries out as she grapples at my wrists in an ineffectual attempt to get me to release her. “Sebastian please, _help me_.”

“Sebastian can’t help you.”

 

Her eyes flick over to Sebastian who is now standing beside me.

 

“I’m sorry but my master is right.” He shrugs.

“What do you mean?”

“He means that he is not going to do anything, because he belongs to me.” I calmly inform her.

“But then, what about our contact?” She breathes.

“What about it?”

“You can’t kill me until our contract is complete.”

 

I smile wryly at her as she looks at me, pleadingly. I bend over and place my lips next to her ear.

 

“Would you like to know a secret?” I whisper. “The contract is for you, not us. We’re free to break it whenever we choose. All it does is bind you to us.”

“I don’t understand.”

 

I lean back and look her straight in the eyes.

 

“We’re demons Cybil, what’s there not to understand?” I state coldly. “There is no truth to us and as you know, _I do nothing but lie._ ” I smile.

 

I start to rise and I bring her with me, holding her still against the wall. I can feel her pulse throb ferociously under my fingertips as I squeeze her throat tightly.

 

“What are you going to do, Ciel?” Sebastian asks me, and I hum to myself as I stare straight into Cybils’ green eyes, which are wide with fear.

“I’m going to do what I do best Sebastian.” I answer, completely nonchalantly as I smile sweetly at her, “This is good bye, Cybil.”

 

She thrashes and squirms under my grip but I press her body hard against the wall, still smiling as my lips meet hers and she closes her eyes, constantly fighting me. I can taste it, potent and rich; the flavor goes straight to my head as I suck the soul out from her parted lips. I can see tears start to trickle down from her closed eyes as they fall down her chin and onto my chest, saturating my shirt.

 

Once I finish sucking her dry, I cast her lifeless body to the side and it hits the ground with a heavy thud.

 

“Well, how was she?”

“Delicious, not worth the struggle but well worth the wait.” I look at the palm of my hand as our contract starts to fade and disappear. “We’d better leave someone will be looking for her soon.” I advise and he nods in agreement.

We start to head towards the door but Sebastian stops for a moment, turning to me.

“It’s a shame, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?”

“Her death.” He smiles wearily, “You know, I truly understand her.”

“How do you mean?”

“The way she loved her husband.”

“I thought your concept of love was warped and twisted.” I snort.

“It is. Simply put, without realizing it, that human loved like a demon.”

“How so?”

“She was so consumed with the love of one person that she was willing to lie, cheat and risk her life over it.”

“And in the end, all she got was death.”

“And isn’t that a shame?” Sebastian wonders.

“You’ve asked the wrong person.”

He gives me a knowing smile and dips his head slightly.

“Indeed, I have.”

 

He leaves the room first and I follow after him. Stopping just at the doorway, I rest my hand on the frame as I turn to glance over my shoulder, looking into the fireplace and the burning embers of what is left of the gris-gris.

 

_‘Ciel, Ciel, Ciel.’_

 Hello again, Alice.


	15. Giving In

“I sure like cookin’ for you demon, I get to test out recipes that I never could for humans.” Marie chuckles jovially as she hands me a plate.

I cast my eyes over it and start to salivate at the sight of the perfectly molded sponge with a thick caramel colored sauce that drips down from the sides on to the plate, creating a sweet and sumptuous moat.

“What is this? It smells familiar.” I wonder as I bring it to my nose for a little sniff.

“It’s Sticky Toffee Pudding, I remember you sayin’ that it was a favorite of yours, non?” She sits down on the black chair in front of me as I try to stifle my absolute joy over the prospect of tasting my favorite dessert again.

“Yes, it’s my favorite.” I pick up the fork on the plate and cut into it. It’s incredibly moist as it folds, then bounces back into place. Popping the piece of pudding into my mouth, I savor the sweetness as it melts on my tongue.

She shifts her orange and gold embroidered shawl around her shoulders and leans back in to the plump cushion behind her. Cutting another piece of the dessert and pricking it with the tines of the fork, I glance over towards her as she stares at me, her head cocked to the side as she watches me with a wry smile.

“Well, dis-moi, how is it? I made it with dried ground conium maculatum, poison hemlock to you an’ me.”

“Ish very deleeshous.” I attempt to smile with my mouth full of scrumptious pudding.

Marie claps her hands together gleefully as she laughs, “I’m so very glad demon...!”

Placing the plate down on my lap, I can’t help but frown at her. She covers her lips with the back of her hand to stifle her laugher as she leans forward to pick up a black leather bound book on the nearby table.

“Marie, why do you keep calling me demon?” I ask her seriously as I sit the plate down next to me.

“Well why not? That is what you is, n’est pas?” She replies, flicking through the pages.

“I suppose but I didn’t choose to be.”

“I know chéri, I know. We never really choose to be what we are, but we can choose what we wish to become.”

“Do you think I can?”

She shrugs, “That’s up to you, isn’t it?”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“Mon petit chou, I am _always_ right.” She chuckles. The tone of her laughter is so sweet and infectious that I almost want to join in with her; I want to feel as good as the sound she makes.

A moment passes and we settle back down again. I pick up the plate with the remaining half of the sticky toffee pudding on it and start to cut into it. Marie takes the book and leafs through it, both of us just enjoying the silence and the pleasure of each other’s company. After a while, I finish the dessert and sit the plate down on the table. Reclining back into the davenport, I watch her read as my mind wanders. 

“Do you think it’s possible?” I mutter my final thought aloud.

“What’s that?” Marie replies, keeping her eyes fixed on her book.

“Do you think it’s possible that I can change who I want to become?”

“You tell me, chéri. Do you want to?”

“I think so.” I nod.

“I’m gonna ask you a question now, you don’t have to answer but it’d be best if you did.” She states.

“All right?”

“Chéri, do you love that Sebastian?” She asks, her voice is low, almost whispered. Averting my gaze, I chew on my lower lip and stay silent. Marie gives me a knowing smile and sits the book down on her lap. “Oh demon, he is no good for you.”

“I didn’t say that I did!” I protest but she just shakes her head.

“Does it matter?” My mouth drops open to reply but nothing comes out. "I see. _Oh, la, la, la_...” She sighs. “What _am_ I going to do with you Ciel?” She smiles.

“So you think I can’t change?

"You have to learn how to be indifferent."

"That's very hard for me. Sebastian is... well, he is very important to me. It’s hard for me not to feel something for him." I reply as I fold my arms across my chest. Marie instantly gets up from her seat and hovers in front of me, flapping her hands out to motion me to scoot aside, to which I comply.

Taking a seat right next to me and grabbing my hands, she holds them tightly as she stares at me hard. Taking a few deep breaths in and holding them for a moment, she slowly exhales as she closes her eyes.

Several minutes later, her eyes open gradually as she arches an eyebrow, looking at me suspiciously.

“He will only destroy you and will stop at nothing until he has done so.”

“Destroy me?”

“Oui.” She replies as she tilts her head to the side, eyes running the length of my body as she inspects me. “You are young, perhaps you do not understand just yet - but in time, you will.”

“Will I?”

“Love… is a powerful force demon; it is greater than any magic that even I can produce and, like magic, not all love is good for you." She lets go of my hands, guiding them back down to my lap.

“What do you mean?”

“There are many different types of love, it’s the one you feel the strongest that is the one that will have its hold on you.”

“What type of love do I have?”

“It is hate.”

“I don’t understand, how can I love something I hate?”

“Oh mon dieu! You are young demon.” She smiles, tapping me lightly on the hand, “Love and hate coexist so easily that it can be hard to differentiate between the two. They are two horns of the same goat.”

Leaning over, her hands reach out and cup my face into her warm palms. I breathe in her inviting scent, an earthy cinnamon with a light, sweet hint of sugar, most likely picked up from when she was baking. She smells comforting and calming, and I feel completely at ease. Thumbs run over the curves of my cheeks as dark brown eyes lock into my gaze. 

"Marie, what will happen to me if I can't be indifferent towards Sebastian?"

“What will happen to you? Who can say?” She answers quite casually. “Do you really want to be free of Sebastian?”

“Yes, more than anything.”

"I wonder if that's true?" She muses to herself as she drops her hands back on to her lap.

"Of course I do!" I yelp, almost snapping at her.

“All right, all right, I believe you, no need to wake the dead or Baron Samedi will be afta you.” She titters, leaning to the side and placing her elbow on the armrest, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. “I just hope you learn before it’s too late, for your sake, mon petit chou.”

“Too late?”

She smiles as she glances over at me, “Before you fall too deep and can no longer get out.” She warns lightly.

…

 

What is love? I wonder.

Is it what the books would have us believe or is it what Sebastian feels for me?

Endless devotion verses possession, are they one in the same? I wish I knew.

Sebastian told me once that love is cruel, vile and sadistic, I believe him but I think there is something more to it. There must be, because I feel it too. I understand now what Marie meant about how love and hate can coexist because now the lines are blurred and I can’t seem to figure out which is which anymore.

I lay motionless on top of my bed, vacantly staring up at the ceiling. The early morning sun creeps in through the gaps in the drapes, slowly spilling its light over everything it touches as it seeps through. I close and open my eyes slowly as I let my mind wander. I think of Marie often, these days, I think of her more often than not. I miss her; she understood me and never judged me, even though I am a demon. I still don’t know how I could have killed her.

Sighing heavily at that thought and rubbing my eyes, I try to clear my mind but I can’t, it’s filled with nothing but thoughts of her. Rolling over onto my side, I wrap my arm around my pillow and hug it tightly to my chest as I continue to stare blankly towards my window.

Over the last few years, I’ve learned more about life than I ever have when I was alive. Above all else, I’ve realized that real hate is nothing more than real love and love is nothing but an obsession. All of those things that Sebastian told me about love, the possession, the desire to have that person above all else, the ability to die for them and to kill for them, it’s all a part of the obsession.

This is what he feels for me and now I am starting to feel the same way too.

As I lay here, I start to enjoy my brief moment of peace. It’ll only be a short while until Sebastian comes in to wake me, although, he knows I’m already awake. I’m sure he can hear me stir but he waits, as always, 7:15 on the dot and not a moment earlier.

‘Ciel, Ciel, Ciel...’ She calls out to me and I roll my eyes.

_Why won’t you leave me?_

‘Because you need me.’ Alice giggles, her voice just as nonchalant and melodic as the first moment I heard it.

_I need you?_

‘Don’t worry, we’ll help you.’

“Help me?” I utter to myself and she goes silent.

_Alice?_

‘You need to be free of him.’

_I don’t want that anymore._

‘He will destroy you.’

_I know._ I agree. This is something I have come to terms with, Sebastian will eventually destroy me.

The relationship between he and I these last few days has been nothing but terse, especially as I haven’t forgiven him for throwing my gris-gris into the fire. I can barely stand the sight of him and yet he still comes. He still tends to me as though nothing has changed between us. He ignores my foul mood and placates my temper. However, despite my anger and rejections, it hasn’t kept him from increasing his hold on me. In fact, he seems to take great pleasure in the knowledge that he’s won.

He has won, he’s over powered me and I can’t help it, I cave in, always giving into him. Although, I know that each time I do, I lose another piece of myself.

Sebastian takes chunks out of me, each time I stay around him and every time he lays me down, I surrender another part and he takes it, greedily. It’s almost nothing more than a game between us now, mere one-upmanship, although currently, he seems to be winning. He takes me over and I willingly give myself up, I let him possess me. Each time he does, for the moment I feel alive and needed but when we are through I feel nothing but hollow and disgusted with myself for giving in to him so easily.

I no longer have self, I no longer have control, I just have him and he owns me. He got what he wanted; he now possesses all of me.

Although, for however angry I am at him and however disgusted I feel, I still can’t help but want him near me. However violent my temper, he does nothing but calm me. He brings out the beast in me, the demon I am now and I want to hate that part of me but I don’t. I’ve embraced it, I love it, and I love him but I wish that I didn’t, I wish that I could make all of this go away. I wish I didn’t feel this hollow.

Releasing the pillow from my chest, I put it back behind my head, which then rolls over to the side. I look at the empty space beside me and sigh as my hand falls over on to the space. My fingertips run the length of the area, feeling the cold fabric of my sheets. I suppose there is one thing that I can’t deny; I can’t help but want him with me.

Exhaling loudly, I push the blankets off of my body, I suppose, it’s time to get up.

Sitting upright, I stretch out; my joints pop and adjust themselves into place. I love to feel my body work, the movement and the sensation of everything falling into place. My feet land on the ground and I feel the wood on their soles as I start to get up and walk around, padding over to the wardrobe. Opening it, I can’t help but smile to myself as I look around for something to wear. I know many will take this for granted but it’s something I have come to enjoy, the solidary freedom of being able to dress myself.

Pulling out a high-necked white shirt, I take it off the hanger and slip it on, swiftly buttoning it all the way up. I then find a pair of trousers, putting them on and tucking in my shirttails, I fasten it around my waist. Going over to my dresser and grabbing a thick strand of ribbon from the top drawer, I wrap it around my neck, tying it into a neat bow as I wander over to the large bay window on the opposite side of the room. Sitting down on the bench, I push back one of the drapes and look out. 

Even though it’s early morning, it seems that all of New Orleans is awake. Smoke plumes from chimneybreasts and float out in the morning air. Dapper men in sharp suits hurry on their way to work and woman drag children along to the bakers down the street. I do this often, I sit here and I watch them go about their daily lives, seemingly without a care in the world.

How I envy these people, going about their business and living their lives with such ease until the day they die.

Everyone will get the chance to die.

It's something that I have always thought about, even when I was a child. It's a simple fact that I took for granted. It wasn't something that I was afraid of. In fact, I welcomed it.

Nightmares always tormented me, the past continued to haunt me - death would have been a welcome release from all the memories that keep their claws digging into me. Ripping my flesh apart from the inside. To go to sleep and never wake, to me, sounded like bliss. I wanted my revenge and after that, I wanted my death, a final end to things. I knew what it all meant when I made my contract with Sebastian, I knew and I was ready. I wasn't scared and I had been nothing but prepared for it. Then it was all taken from me.

'And are you still?' He asks, almost solemnly.

_Am I still what?_

‘Prepared to die?’

_I’m not sure Alois. What was it like?_

'It was as painful and as frightening as you could ever imagine.' He pauses for a moment and emits an airy chuckle. 'You know, you should thank me.'

_Thank you?_

'I did you a tremendous favor Ciel, I spared you death.'

_You think you did me a favor?_ I almost laugh at the notion. _You've selfishly cursed me to live, you made me a demon!_

'You were always more a demon alive than you are now.'

_Is that so?_ Well, I suppose it is. It didn’t matter how young I was, I was ruthless, cruel and disaffected. Everything that happened to me shaped me, created me, made me who I became and I didn’t dare change it. Despite Lizzies’ efforts and regardless of Madam Reds’ wishes, I refused to heal, how could I? They took something from me and I wanted them to pay, I wanted to make them suffer just as I had. Did that make me as bad as him? Was I more of a demon then he was?

‘What do you think?’

There is a knock on the door and Alois goes quiet.

Sebastian comes into the room, his eyes land on me instantly and he smiles to himself as I turn to look back out the window.

“You’re up early.” He comments as he walks over to my dresser and pulls open a drawer. Taking out a pair of black socks and two suspenders, he comes over and kneels down in front of me. His hand gently slides behind my calf and he uses it to turn me towards him. “Did you want to go out tonight? When you were serving Cybil, I found this excellent saloon I think you might enjoy.”

I fold my arms across my chest and ignore him as he places my foot onto his knee.

“Not speaking to me today, are we?” He grins.

“I have nothing to say.”

“Ah, there’s your voice. For a moment, I thought you’d lost it.” He simpers as he rolls the trouser leg up and starts to put on one of the suspenders around my upper calf. I’m always amused by these types of interactions. Sebastian knows that I am now quite capable of dressing myself and that I take pleasure in doing so but still, he continues to do things like this.

Leaning back, I cock my head to the side as I watch him slide the sock up and attach it to the latch of the suspender. He then puts my leg back down and brings up the other one.

“Why do you always do this?”

“Do what, young master?”

“I am perfectly able to put my own socks on.”

“Of course you are.”

“So then why won’t you let me?” I ask as he finishes putting the other sock on my foot and rolls the trouser leg down, tugging at the pleat to ensure it falls correctly around my ankle. He drops my leg down and maneuvers himself in between them.

“It is something that I enjoy doing, something that gives me pleasure, my lord.”

My nose scrunches up at that familiar term.

“Why do you still call me that? I’ve said before that I am no more an Earl than you are a butler now.”

“But I still serve you.” He replies.

“I’m telling you that you no longer need to.”

Sebastian can’t help but grin broadly as he rocks forwards, his hands land on the tops of my thighs as he comes closer to me.

“My, my, don’t tell me that you now consider me an equal?” He purrs sweetly.

My eyes drift over to the side as I think for a moment. I snort lightly and fold my arms across my chest again as he watches my mind tick over.

“I wonder, will we ever really be equals?” I mutter to myself. His hands travel round the back of my thighs and towards my back.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He slowly pulls me forwards.

“Oh yes you do Sebastian. We’ve never been anything more than master and servant; however, I’ve always felt that you were just humoring me.” I uncross my arms and drop them to the side as I lean back, resting on the cold glass of the window.

“Humoring you?” He delivers this with an arched brow as he starts to crawl on top of me; his hands creep up my sides, sending a sharp shiver down my spine.

“Sometimes I think it was you who was in control of me. You could control whether I lived or died in many different circumstances.”

“True, however, if I really wanted you dead, you would be so.” He retorts with a sly smile before he bends over and begins to nuzzle my neck. Raising my hand up, I tangle my fingers into his inky black hair as he runs his tongue up the back of my neck and behind my ear.

“Still, that doesn’t make us equals; in fact it proves my point. You have the ability to end me, if you really wanted to.” I sigh out as I start to squirm underneath him.

“Then I suppose the question is: do I want to?”  His voice is so low; it’s almost a growl.

“Do you?”

Sebastian pulls back for a moment. His hand roughly grabs onto the knot in my bow as he brings me forward. The color of his eyes flickers from the usual ruddy brown to the glowing rosette hue as he lowers his lids. He stares at me with such burning intensity that I feel as though two holes are being burrowed into my skull.

“Why all of this talk?” He questions.

“It’s only natural for one to fear for their safety, especially given the circumstance.”

“And you think that I would do something to harm you?”

“Haven’t you already?”

He pushes me back into the window, causing it to rattle from the force.

“Is that why you valued your precious voodoo amulet? You really are scared of me?”

“No, that’s not it at all.”

He leans over me. “Then what is it Ciel? Why was it so important to you?” I turn my head to the side to avoid his gaze and I remain mute. “Don’t tell me you cared for the witch.”

My head snaps towards his. “Marie wasn’t a witch. She was kind to me and she helped me.”

“She tried to separate you from me, and that’s something I simply could not abide.”

“Well that’s obviously not going to happen now.”

“Is that so? And why’s that?”

“Because _...I don’t want that_.” I resentfully admit. Sebastian lets a smile creep onto his lips as he looms over me.

“Then tell me, what do you want?” He purrs.

“I...”

“Go on.”

“I don’t want to love you.”

“Why would you deny what you feel?”

“This isn’t the type of love that I want to feel Sebastian. It’s grotesque and flawed, this feeling I have for you, it – it tears me apart.”

“My dear master, this is what it is like to be in love.” He coos as he lets go of my bow and I fall back slightly. He hoovers on top of me, his lips are so close, I can feel them ghosting past mine. “It should take you, captivate you and tear you up inside.”

And that it does.

You said it before, why won’t you tell me again?” He moves down to my neck and starts to plant feather light kisses on my throat. “Tell me how much you love me.” He whispers between kisses.

I breathe out as he continues to lick the side of my neck. I close my eyes as my whole body works against me, responding to Sebastians’ every touch so eagerly. It shudders and squirms as it begs to be felt. I can’t help but roll my head back, emitting a soft mewl.

‘He will destroy you.’

_Not now Alice, I know, I already know._

I know all of this and yet... I can’t help it. Hands slide down my waist, they work their way over my belt buckle, unfastening and releasing me. Feverish kisses land all over my neck causing me to writhe underneath him. My back arches and my chest fights to make contact with his, just to feel him on me.

How many times?

How many times must I tell myself before I can believe it? How many times must I try to convince myself that I don’t want this, that I don’t want him? I can’t love him and yet he is everything to me. All that I was and all that I am now belongs to Sebastian and I can’t help it.

Fingers drag themselves up the ridges of his spine, feeling each vertebrate through the cloth of his shirt.

_I want to disappear._

My head rolls back as I feel as his tongue trails across my chest. He hums loudly as he makes his way down. My breath hitches every time he breathes over a freshly moistened part of my skin, cooling it with each exhale. The sensation sends shivers throughout my body and my hands squeeze him tightly.

_I want to dissolve._

My trousers are pulled off with little effort as he casually tosses them to the side. My hands reach up and tangle themselves in the drapes as he grabs my hips and moves them forward to position me. My eyes close as I feel the tips of his fingers drag themselves down the inside of my thighs.                                      

_I want to dissipate and spread._

He slides into me so easily and even though I’m ready, I can’t help but gasp and whine as he moves within me. I grip the drapes so tightly, I’m sure to send them crashing down. A hand travels down my leg, lifting it up and over his shoulder. My whole body responds to his touch as it tenses with each contact made.

Breathe out and breathe in again as he goes deeper.

My cheeks flush as the embarrassment washes over me and I turn my head to the side to hide my face, bringing the drapes up and attempting to hide myself and to stifle my moans. Sebastian leans over, the back of his hand gently stroking the exposed side of my cheek. Taking my chin into his hand, he guides my face back towards him.

“Tell me you love me.”

“I... love you.” I pant breathlessly.

“Say it again.” He commands and my head rolls back.

“I love you Sebastian.” I cry out, my voice filling the air of the room.

“I love you too.” He growls and I can’t help the satisfied smile that forms on my lips.

 I’m sorry Marie; you must be so disappointed in me.

 


	16. Devil Side

The warm water surrounds me as I lay back in the bathtub.

Cupping my hands together under the surface, I bring them up to my face, splashing it with the warm water. Leaning back, I scoot myself down to sink further into the warmth and let my whole body relax. For the first time in a long time I feel calm, my mind is empty and I welcome it, relishing the relative quiet. At the moment, all I hear is the sound of the water hitting the sides of the porcelain with each move I make. I can also hear Sebastian milling about in my room next door, readying an outfit for me to wear when we go out tonight. I listen to his footsteps as they pace back and forth, probably flitting between the wardrobe and dresser in order to coordinate something appropriate for this evenings outing.

He is insisting that we go to this saloon he’s found but he's barely given me any further information about it. All he has said is that it's a place that may be of interest to me. I’m not all that bothered in leaving the house tonight but his excitement at the prospect of sharing this place with me has peaked my curiosity. Sebastian is very rarely interested in anything of late - a fact which swayed my decision to go. I don’t know how I have gotten into the habit of pleasing his whims but in this moment, I can’t seem to help myself, if it will make him happy for me to go, then I shall go.

I have decided to stay with him now, not just because I am scared of what would happen to me if I were to leave but because I want to, I feel it so strongly now, this warped love I have for him. He is a part of me, within me, and we are bound together. There is one thing I have come to realize, even though I am his captive, his prey, Sebastian is still my protector. This is the very nature of our relationship and it always has been.

I am bonded to him in ways I never imagined I could be, never thought that I would be but here we are. Involuntarily closing my eyes, I can feel the right one start to burn. There is no need to see it; I know that the mark of our contract is still blazed in my eye. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it but I know that it’s there, tying me to him.

I wonder, do you love me Sebastian, I mean really love me or is it just ownership? Do you love me as I love you? Although, I barely know what it is myself.

The only love I knew when I was alive was the love of my family but I cannot really remember what that felt like now. I never knew romantic love or at least I don’t think I did. Elizabeth loved me but I never felt the same, my heart didn’t flutter, she never occupied my mind, not like he does. I know that I belong to Sebastian and that is something I don’t care to change, at least not any time soon.I don’t want out, I don’t want to leave, I just want him to consume me, and to destroy me as promised.

I’ve made a mistake Marie, one of many; I’m in too deep, just as you said I’d be.

You knew, you always knew how this would be for me and you tried to tell me, you tried to warn me and I didn’t listen. I just let myself fall for him, give in to him and now, I want nothing more than to be near him. Have him on me, kiss me, to touch me and be in me. You saw this as my fate but what else did you see?

Leaning further back into the water, my mind drifts over to past conversations and the words she said to me.I remember Marie once said that there is a darkness within me, I never knew what she meant until I woke to find her lifeless body on my lap. Is that what lies beneath me? Is that what she was trying to warn me about?

It’s a horrifying prospect to know that eventually there will be no humanity left in me; it will be like the water I sit in and eventually it will drain away. I can feel it slipping further through my fingers but I grip the strands as tightly as I can, too scared to let them go. Once I do, I will finally lose myself, I will become like him and that is something I cannot bear.

My chest is heavy at that thought; I feel as though I’m sinking. I do not want this; I do not want to be a demon.

Sighing out loud, I feel it, the water going over my head as I start to slide under until my head is fully submerged.

I wanted nothing more than for Sebastian to take my soul and in a way, I feel betrayed. At first I thought that it was Sebastian who suffered more when I became a demon but I see now that it’s me. I was once human and now I am not. No matter how dead I longed to be then, I now want nothing more than to be alive, to feel breath in my lungs, to have a beating heart, to feel human.

I still have remnants of my humanity, it's thin but it's there. It comes in waves and is mostly filled with feelings of guilt. The guilt of the souls I’ve taken weighs on me daily, and sometimes I want it to disappear, other times I hope the guilt never leaves me. It’s all I have left of my former life and I don’t want to let it go. I do not want the darkness to consume me. Do you hear me Marie? Of all the mistakes I have made, this will not one of them. I will hold on as long as I can to this last piece of me.

I open my eyes to see Sebastian hovering over me, his hands on the sides of the bathtub as he leans over. He smiles as he bends further down, his lips almost touching the surface and I start to come up. As I rise, he moves back, allowing some space between us.

“Are you trying to drown yourself, my lord?” He wonders as I sit up.

“No, I was just thinking and I guess I must have slipped under.”

“What was it that had your mind so preoccupied?”

“I was remembering what it was like to be human.” I sigh, wiping my eyes.

“Why would you think about that?”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s best not to linger on a life that you cannot get back.” He pauses for a moment, his eyes travel to the side, as he seems to be thinking about something and then he smiles. “Wasn’t it you who once told me that once something is truly lost, it will never return?” He finishes, pulling over a nearby stool to sit behind me.

“I did say that.” I agree, leaning back against the porcelain curve of the bathtub. “But this is something I haven’t fully lost yet.”

“How you have managed to hold on to your humanity for so long, is something I cannot seem to understand but it will soon go in time.”

My head turns towards him. “What if I don’t want it to go?”

Sebastian starts to roll up his sleeves past his elbows and pins them in place.

“How long do you think you will be able to keep it?” He asks me casually.

“I will hold on as long as I can.”

Bending over, he rests his elbow on his upper thigh as he looks at me.

“And how long is that? Instinct will take over soon enough and we will then see the devil inside you.”

“The devil inside me?”

“It’s what I saw in you the first moment we met, it wasn’t just the anger and hatred that festered within you it was more than that. It was so beautiful, so potent; I couldn’t resist you, not even then.”

“You couldn’t resist me?” I utter softly as I turn my head back around, drawing my knees up to my chest.

“From the moment that sacrifice was made, I knew it was you that I wanted to seek.”

This devil inside of me, is it the darkness Marie spoke of? Ever since she told me, I have been trying to understand what she meant by it but I couldn’t figure it out. Sebastian knows me, he knows almost everything about me and he has the ability to see right through me. He must see it too. Does he know what it is? The darkness Marie saw, does he know what’s lurking beneath?

I wish you were here Marie. You would help me. I have no one now; I’m all alone but...

‘You’re never alone.’ Alice reminds me tenderly.

No, I’m never alone.

“I suppose it’s only natural for you to think about your past life from time to time.” Sebastian interrupts my thoughts.

“Hm?”

“I said that it’s natural for you to miss your past life.” He repeats.

“Is it?”

“You were human; you must miss it from time to time.”

“I guess I do.” I suppose, as he begins to massage the side of my neck and shoulders. I start to relax under his touch and my mind again starts to wander. I know Sebastian has never been human but does he think of a time before me? I never asked about who he was before we met, I never cared to know but now, I’m interested. “Do you ever reflect on previous contracts?”

“No, they never bear thinking about. They served a purpose and nothing more, some of them were measly at that.” He finishes. I shiver at just how cold he is as I reflect on his words.

“How can you say that?”

“Quite easily.” Placing his hands on the side of my head, he pulls me back so that I am looking up at him. Glowing eyes lower, focusing on mine; his firm grip keeps my head perfectly still. “Humans are creatures that fascinate me but it was nothing more than just that. My fascination never warranted affection or kindness.”

“But you were kind to me when I was alive.”

Using the back of his hand, he gently strokes the side of my cheek as he shrugs.

“I was kind to you when you were alive as per our contract; it suited my needs at the time. Do not mistake me, you were nothing more than a meal to me, something delicious that I could sink my teeth into and I must admit, I was starving.”

His words pierce me.

I never entertained any thought of Sebastian having any actual affection for me other than the confines of his position. His behavior always lulled me into a false sense of security, like I could control him but actually; Sebastian was the one wielding the power.

“So you were protecting your interest.” I conclude. Lifting my head off his knees, he pushes me forwards slightly. Bending over, he picks up a small green bottle of oil and pours a little into his hands.

“I suppose I was.” He agrees as he rubs his hands together. The oil makes his black nails glisten like polished obsidian as he works it into my skin. Taking a deep breath, I let the sweet smell of lavender permeate my nostrils and feeling his hands go down my spine, my body shudders under his touch.

He is so gentle with me, even now. His hands caress my skin with such graceful care, as though the slightest bit of pressure would bruise me. Sebastian has always been this way with me, I never took any notice of it but then again, I would imagine that it is all part of his aesthetics; he was only doing what was required of a butler. His hands make their way over my neck and shoulders as I lean back, resting my arms on the sides of the bathtub.

My whole body feels at ease and relaxed as Sebastian continues to massage the oil into my skin.

“What am I to you now?” I wonder aloud, letting the words pour from my lips before I could stop them.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean now that I am no longer a meal for you, what am I to you?”

Sebastian stops for a moment, thinking to himself, and then after a while, he picks up a small cloth from the side, dipping it into the water.

“Now?” He begins as he draws the cloth over my oiled skin slowly. “I’ve grown quite fond of you and I enjoy your company, even though you can still be as difficult as you ever were.” He finishes.

“Is that all?” I ask, turning my head over my shoulder to look at him. He smiles at me, his hand gently guides my face forwards. He runs the cloth down my neck and remains quiet, much to my frustration, I hate when he avoids my questions. “Well?” I almost snap.

Sebastian stops washing me and leans over onto his knees.

“My dear master, what would you like me to say?”

I roll my eyes. “Nothing, never mind.”

“Then what would appease you?” He coos.

“Nothing.” I exhale. Two arms reach out over my shoulders and drape themselves across my front as he rests his chest on my back. His lips graze past my ear and I shiver as his breath breezes over my wet skin.

“Would you like me to tell you that I’m still with you because I love you?” He purrs sweetly.

“No, of course not.” I huff, wiggling to try and free myself from him but to no avail.

“Why ever not? It’s true, I love you Ciel. I love you in the only way I know how. I was once yours by nature of our contract but now you belong to me.”

“I belong to you? Like a possession?”

“Only if you wish to see it that way.”

“What do you see it as?”

“I see it that we belong to each other. I belong to you because our contract in still in place but you, well, you are mine and mine alone.” He kisses the back of my head affectionately as he lets me go, putting his hand back under the water to remoisten the cloth.

There is still one more question that I have always wondered about but never wished to ask, I’m not sure if I really want to hear the answer, however it comes out. Drawing in a deep intake of breath to gather some courage, I decide to ask.

“Did you…” I stop, quickly losing my nerve.

“Did I what?” He wonders. Sighing and shaking my head, I drum my fingers along the edge of the bathtub frustrated with myself for stopping.

“Did you… Did you ever love anyone, aside from me?”

Dropping the cloth, Sebastian grabs the sides of my face, bringing it back down to his knees again. My eyes look at him imploringly as he looks down at me with a stern and serious face.

“No. I have never loved anyone before you.” He states frankly.

“Why are you so serious?”

“Because I want you to know that I do not care for anyone. Emotions are not anything that I chose to feel. I am a demon Ciel, as are you, something you seem to forget. We are not creatures of niceties, loyalty or romantic love, we are simply beings bound by our aesthetics.” Letting go of my face, I rest my head on the back of his knees as I stay still. Sebastian looks at me with a wry smile as he leans forward hovering over me. “I am cruel, but then again, I have always been cruel. I am unfeeling and uncaring towards the things that I wish not to bother about but you are different. You fascinate more than any other human I have ever met. I watched you, your actions, how you were with others and your whole demeanor, you were different than the others, perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“You may not know it, my lord, but from the moment I laid eyes on you, I saw your potential and I wanted to make it mine.”

“Well now you have it.”

“Not quite.”

“What do you mean?”

He leans over and touches my lips gently. 

“When will you let me have all of you?” He whispers with his lips still on mine. Turning my head to the side, I move away from him and he sits up.

“You do have all of me, every part of me is yours.”

“No, I don’t and no, it’s not.”

“Then what is it? What more could you possibly want from me.”

“Give me your darkness.”

“My darkness?”

“That’s the last part of you that you refuse to give me.”

How does he know what it is if I don’t? How does he see it?

“Take it, it’s yours.”

“How can I have what you are unwilling to give?”

“I don’t know Sebastian but it is as you say, you own me, and I am nothing but yours. All that I am, everything.” I state almost as though I am resigned to this fate. I knew, I always knew, that I belonged to you. Whether I was your meal at the end of the contract or the lover in your bed, I was marked for you, bound to you. It was always to be my fate.

“Is that all?” He smirks.

“My dear Sebastian, what would you like me to say?” I snort, using his rhetoric against him.

“You know what I would like you to say.”

“I’ve already said it.”

“Say it again; I will never tire of hearing it.”

Sighing heavily, I keep my head forward, unwilling to look over at him.

“I love you, Sebastian.” I utter, despite my better judgment. I hate giving into him so easily.

“Now was that so hard?”

“Harder than you can ever imagine.”

“Why is that?”

Wrapping my arms around my knees, I rest my chin on them.

“Because, it is. Because I love you so much that I hate you. I hate everything about you and yet, I’m drawn to you and I know that I can’t be without you. It’s maddening. I’m going mad and it’s because of you.” I confess, burying my face into gap between my knees.

Two horns on the same goat, isn’t that right Marie?

Saying nothing, he stands up from his stool and goes over to a shelf along the wall to collect a towel. Taking it by the edges, he shakes it out of its folds and holds it open for me. Using his arm as a brace, I get up out of the bathtub and he wraps it around me tightly. Stepping into me, Sebastian embraces me, holding me in his arms.

“Love is maddening, my lord, I have told you this many times before. It is destructive and consuming.”

“Then consume me.” I whisper. Placing his hand under my chin, he tilts it upwards and smiles at me.

“I will.”

“Will you also destroy me?”

“Only if you want me to.”

Marie said that he will destroy me but I did not know that this was my choice. Do I want him to? I feel like I am not so sure anymore. What I want and what I feel, these things are no longer my own. What do I do Marie? I’m in far too deep.

 

...

 

It’s nighttime and that’s when this town comes alive.

The cool night air hits my face as I lift up the collar of my coat, wrapping it tightly around my chest to button it.

We meander down the crowded streets of the French Quarter, with Sebastian leading the way. We go slowly enough for me to take in all the sights of the place that I love so much. I’ve lived here for so long that every street corner and cobblestone is memorized and yet I still can’t help but be enamored. The large pastel wooden buildings with dark timber shingle overhangs, they cover the pavements right up to the edge of the streets.

Royal blue flags, with silver fleur de lis embroidered on to them, hang from the lit gas lampposts and sway gently in the night air.

We weave in and out of people, as they seem to be everywhere.

Some promenade with their sweethearts in tow, walking and chatting amongst themselves, whilst others make their way into the nearby brasseries or saloons to drink and to dance the night away. We seem to be following the tourists and couples looking for a little adventure, as we turn left down the street towards the red light district of Storyville.

Going down the brightly lit streets lined with brothels, I watch as women in short dresses peddle for patrons to enter their establishments. Men follow along when beckoned by them, lured like strings are pulling them into each place.

Sebastian grabs my hand as he tugs me along at a faster pace, turning sharply down a secluded alleyway, dragging me along. I don’t ask any questions as he leads me down the darkened pathway. In the distance, there is a shining light, which seems to be where we are headed to; it’s a lit red painted single lantern that is hanging next to a shiny black lacquered door.

We stop in front of it and I look over to Sebastian curiously.

“What is this place?” I finally inquire.

“It’s the saloon.” He smirks. My eyes scan the door, there seems to be something engraved on it but I don’t recognize the characters.

“What kind of place is this?”

“It’s a place for creatures like us.”

“What do you mean? _A place for demons_?”

“Not exactly.”

“Will you stop being coy and just tell me.” I huff.

“This is a place where lovers of the occult come to meet like-minded individuals. They talk about witchcraft and voodoo, and some pontificate on how to correctly summon a demon, if you can imagine...!”

“Why would they discuss that?”

“Because some people, young master, are not afraid of the dark.”

“I am not afraid of the dark.” I snap.

“Then why do you choose to still hold on to your humanity?” He lowers his eyes, glaring at me.

“What does that have to do with being afraid of the dark? I made a contract with you didn’t I?”

“You were desperate then, I’m not sure if you fully understood what it all really entailed.”

“I did, I knew what I was asking of you when we made our contract.”

He looks at me curiously as he shrugs a shoulder with a slight smirk. 

“Perhaps you did. In any case, you hold on to your humanity because you are scared of what you may become and that makes you afraid of the dark.” He smiles as he leans over towards me. I pout at his statement but I know he’s right.

“It’s not that I’m afraid, Sebastian, I just don’t want to be you.”

“Why ever not?” He chuckles as he strokes the side of my face. “You will eventually become me, it may not be now or tomorrow but it will be soon, then we will see your darkness, what it is you try to hide.”

I move my face from him but I stand still.

“I’m not hiding anything.”

“Yes, you are but it doesn’t matter, at least not right now.”

“What if I don’t want to give into it?”

Sebastians’ eyes glance over towards the door and he slyly smiles to himself, as though he has just remembered a punch line to a joke that only he understands.

“I don’t think that will be an issue for much longer.” He replies. I fold my arms around my chest as I stand in front of him.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing, I just think that I’ll get what I want sooner rather than later.” He surmises as he wraps his hand around the handle and gives it a pull, “Shall we go in?” He asks, holding the door open. I nod and he motions for me to go inside.

As soon as I step in, I turn my head from side to side to take it all in, the first thing I notice is that the inside is dark and filled with plumes of cigarette smoke. Ebony wooden panels line the walls and flooring which leads to a matching bar at the back. It’s dim in here; thin white candles align the walls whilst a large black gas lit crystal chandler hangs from the middle of the ceiling, picking up the slack. There is a small stage along the side where a brass quartet is belting out a very maudlin song, almost unenthusiastically.

At tables, men sit fully engrossed in their conversations, whilst woman wait at the sides to be approached. This isn’t what I thought it would be but then again, I am not sure exactly what it is I was expecting.

Sliding his hand down to my lower back, Sebastian guides me towards the bar as we walk towards the center of the room. Stopping, he bends over and kisses my ear lightly. I can hear a low grumble from his chest; he must have seen something that intrigued him.

“Those two.” Sebastian growls in my ear. My eyes follow the direction of his head, and they land on two women sitting at a small round table at the back. A blonde and brunette, both dressed elegantly in figure hugging high necked, beaded black dresses, with large feathered hats that adorn their heads.

Going over to them, they immediately stop talking, tilting their head slightly as they regard us, waiting for one of us to speak. Sebastian takes the lead, smiling politely as he places his hand on his chest and bows slightly.

“Good evening ladies. It appears that all of the tables are taken, may we join you?” His languid words drip off of his tongue like honey. Their eyes flutter as they bat slowly, both turning their heads to each other and coquettishly giggling as they nod, allowing us to sit with them.

“My name is Sebastian and this is Ciel.” He introduces us.

The women look at each other and the one with dark brown hair smiles as she holds her hand towards her blonde companion.

“This is Cecile.” She says with her Cajun accent laid on nice and thick.

“Pleased to meet you.” Cecile smiles as she extends her hand out and Sebastian takes it, pressing his lips to her knuckles tenderly, causing her already rosy cheeks to rouge.

“And I am Rosalind but everyone round here calls me Rose.” Rose finishes as she holds her hand out to me.

“Then we shall call you Rose and what a becoming resemblance to the flower you are.” I smile, taking my cue from Sebastian, I touch my lips to her fingers and she playfully fans herself with her free hand.

“And what brings you gentlemen here? This isn’t a place that is so easily found.” She asks.

“We heard that this establishment is full of like minded people.” Sebastian answers.

“Like minded as in?”

“Well, Ciel has taken an interest in voodoo, I for one think it’s all silly but try telling him that.” He smirks as his eyes look over to me. I’m fuming at his comment but I maintain my composure.

“Voodoo isn’t silly, it actually works.” Rose states.

“I have yet to see any proof of it but Ciel believes in it, so I thought that I should try to as well.”

“Oh you should, you really should.” She agrees. “You have definitely come to the right place then.”

“He even knew the late Marie Leveau.”

“Did you? Mon dieu! She died tragically, didn’t she? Never caught her killer.”

“No, they didn’t.” Sebastian shakes his head. Just what is he trying to do to me? He eyes me again and my mouth drops open to say something but Sebastian continues. “In any case, what were you ladies discussing before we so rudely interrupted you?”

“You are not being rude cheri.” Rose insists.

“Well thank you, that is very kind of you to say.”

“We were just discussing the murder of Mary-Anne Le Bon, have you heard about it, it was all over the newspapers.” Cecile chimes in.

“Murder? What a gruesome thing.” Sebastian smiles, it’s not genuine nor is it forced as he leans in to listen to their gossip.

“Oh it was positively horrific but she wasn’t murdered.” Rose almost enthuses.

“Wasn’t she?”

She shakes her head, “Non, she belonged to a group that worshipped the devil.”

“Oh?” Sebastian smirks.

“Well, apparently, she was a sacrifice in order to summon a demon.”

“I wonder how that works?” He asks, of course knowing full well how to summon a creature like us. They carry on but I no longer wish to listen, I can feel myself getting angry as I ball my hands into fists, holding them tightly on my lap. I half-heartedly pay attention to their conversation as they talk about sacrifices and witchcraft. Sebastian carries the conversation as though it is the most natural thing to talk about.

His words are slow and measured, each one delivered with a low guttural growl that vibrates right through me. I can feel the effect his voice is having on me, as they surely must do. His charm is effortless and easy as his appeal is one of elegance and grace. Sebastian is so good at this that these women fall for him instantly, their body language responds as though he is a snake charmer. They lean forward touching his arm and shoulder as he purrs every sentence. They giggle and sway to the beat of the music playing in a bid to entice him but, little do they know, they are the ones under his control.

I almost pity them for being so easily enthralled. They came to seek the devil and they are blissfully unaware that he is here before them, coaxing them and drawing them in.

Completely tuning them out, I eavesdrop on all of the other conversations and sure enough, they are things of an occult nature. Some talk about the next solstice, some of the meeting of various voodoo priests and priestesses from all over Louisiana. Various practices were discussed, especially those concerning black magic. Marie once told me that not all magic is good and I realize that this is what she meant.

I wonder if these people are like those who kidnapped me and set me up as sacrifice? They want the same things as those people did, riches beyond their wildest dreams, power, fame and eternal youth. Before Sebastian destroyed them, I should have asked if it was worth it, taking all of our lives. They used me, and the others, to call upon a demon for selfish reasons. This is something I’ll never understand.

As I sit here, I feel myself getting incredibly furious. Why would Sebastian bring me to this place? He must have known that it’s full of people like them, like the ones who soiled me, people I would soon rather annihilate. Was that the point? To make me angry, to awaken my bloodlust? He knew what he was doing when he brought me here.

“To torment you.”

No Alice, to teach me.

“To teach you what?”

A lesson.

Sebastian says that he doesn’t have all of me, he wants the darkness within me and I haven’t given it to him yet. I haven’t given it to him because I don’t know what it is.

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” Alois asks me nonchalantly, almost knowingly.

Figure what out?

“The darkness within you. Don’t you know what it is yet? What Sebastian wants from you?”

No, I don’t and I don’t wish to find out. As long as I can hold on to my humanity, I will never let the darkness take hold of me.

He knows what this place will do to me, what I would think and yet he still brought me here. Yes, Sebastian can see straight through me. Is this my darkness, this past I’m constantly haunted by? Is he trying to get me to lose myself here, it would make sense, to further my revenge on these people who would do better than to not exist. Is this what he wants from me, to lose control?

“Young master, you’re quite quiet this evening, is anything the matter?” He whispers, leaning over towards me. Blinking to regain my focus, I remember where I am.

“Yes, yes everything is fine.” I answer back.

“Well then, shall we get these ladies a drink?” He asks, raising his voice so they can hear him.

“I’ll get them.” I offer, standing to my feet. “What are you ladies having?” I smile, causing them to blush.

“Two amaretto sours please.” Cecile requests.

“Very well and Sebastian?”

“Bourbon, on the rocks.”

“Then I shall be back.” I dismiss myself from the table.

Running a hand through my hair, I take in a deep breath to try and calm myself down. If Sebastian is trying to wake my bloodlust, it’s worked and I need to hold myself together, I cannot lose what’s left of me in this place.

Getting to the bar, I look around for the bartender but he isn’t here. Leaning against the counter top, I rest my head in the palm of my hands, rubbing my eyes and exhaling slowly as I steady myself.

“Well, well, fancy meeting you here?” A familiar voice chuckles beside me.

Raising my head from my hands, I hesitate before I turn. The tone is jovial and familiar and I know exactly whose voice this is. Standing upright, I slowly turn my head to the side to face him.

“Hello again, Undertaker.”


	17. In Good We Trust

My body stiffens but I manage to turn my head to the side.

"Hello again, Undertaker," I greet him dryly.

Standing next to me, dressed in a white shirt and tie covered by a long black overcoat, and silvery-grey hair down his back with fringe still hiding his eyes, is Undertaker.

I haven't seen him since my funeral all those years ago and yet he hasn't aged a day. Then again, I wonder if reapers can really age? I'm a demon, frozen in this prison of timeless eternity and I've aged. Well, I've changed my appearance to show maturity but I suppose it's not the same as actual aging. I've been living in New Orleans for over five years now, if I stayed exactly as I was when I arrived, suspicions would have no doubt been raised.

Even though I've made myself taller, I'm still dwarfed by Undertaker's statuesque frame and height. A fact made increasingly apparent as he looks down at me. He rests his hip against the edge of the bar whilst a slight smirk forms on his lips.

"My dear Earl, imagine my surprise seeing you here of all places," he begins coolly. "How long has it been? Years?"

"Something like that," I scoff. Of all the places in the world, why is he in New Orleans or better yet, this saloon? "What are you even doing here?" I ask, deciding to cut right to the chase. I am not one to believe in coincidence. Undertaker is here for a reason and I know he's going to make me work for an answer.

"Didn't you know? I'm very good friends with Baron Samedi," he chuckles, making my eyes roll. I should have realized this wasn't going to be as quick as I hoped.

"Baron Samedi? He isn't real, just some voodoo legend." I shake my head, dismissing his rather glib response. "Next you'll say Papa Legba owes you a favor."

"Now you jest but I know him too."

"Of course you do, silly me." I snip.

"Oh my, how novel of a demon to become a realist," he simpers. "Just because you haven't seen 'em doesn't mean they don't exist." He teases and pokes my nose with the tip of his long black lacquered nail. Swatting his hand from my face, I cross my arms, bracing my weight on the bar's edge.

"You could say the same of God but I know he doesn't exist," I quip under my breath.

"I suppose that's true eh? Else you wouldn't be in this predicament," he grins.

Ignoring his jibe, I turn my head to the side. Eyes glance around the room to see if anyone is paying the slightest bit of attention to us. It seems no one is. People are so absorbed in their own conversations about the damned that they don't realize the things they speak of are actually amongst them. I'd laugh at the notion but in this moment the hilarity is lost on me.

"Just tell me why you're here," the exasperation coming out of me with a heavy sigh. I need him to stop dancing around the question and just get to the point.

"I came because I heard this was the place to be, a den of sin," Undertaker slides toward me until he's uncomfortably close. Each muscle in my body tenses, clenching desperately to stifle the shudder it wants to give from the overwhelming discomfort I feel. "I had to see it for myself," he finishes with a smile streaking across his face.

"You took the long boat journey to come all this way just to visit?" I carry on the conversation as though the proximity isn't a bother.

"Among other things," he answers plainly.

The outline of his eyes pokes through the fringe of hair as he examines me carefully; they glitter like two citrine stones in the dim light. Resting his elbow on the bar counter, he draws an index finger across his bottom lip looking me up and down. I want to say something further but the bartender distracts me. He plods back into the room carrying a large box of bottled spirits, sitting it down behind the bar. Coming over to us with a slight swagger and weary smile, he presses his palms against the counter.

"What's your poison?" he asks us. Undertaker continues to study me but I ignore his stare so I can voice my request.

"Two amaretto sours and a bourbon on the rocks," I order. Noting the obvious tension between us, the bartender's eyes dart from me to Undertaker and back again.

"There'll be no trouble here," he warns in a thick Cajun accent.

"No trouble, just our drinks please." I flash a reassuring smile. Grumbling something under his breath in a language I couldn't understand, he shakes his head.

"Comin' right up," he complies and leaves us to set about making the drinks.

"Interesting," Undertaker surmises, tilting his head over to the table I'd come from. My eyes follow and land on Sebastian, who is still entertaining the two women destined to be our meals for the night. He doesn't seem to notice I've been gone for a while or he has and is waiting for the right time to step in. Either way, Sebastian hasn't raced to my side. A fact Undertaker seems to have noticed as well.

"What's interesting?" I inquire.

"You didn't get yourself anything," he grins. Not the response I thought I was going to get but maybe he's reserving any judgment on Sebastian for later.

"I'm not thirsty," I answer. My gaze returns back behind the bar and to the man putting painstaking effort into making my drinks. Slicing the lemons into halves, he picks one up and squeezes the juice into a glass filled with ice. "Besides, it all tastes like dirt to me."

Humming at my comment, Undertaker's face falls for a moment but quickly rebounds with a smile.

"You know I've missed you Ciel," he says earnestly.

"Missed me?" I nearly splutter.

"I've not had any proper entertainment since your funeral," he chuckles in amusement.

"I see," I frown.

"You've grown."

"I have."

"You look so much like your father," he says with a wistful smile playing on his lips. Reaching out, Undertaker strokes the side of my cheek with the back of his fingers. Twisting my head, I shirk away from his touch, which only causes his smile to widen.

"Why are you really here?" I sneer, realizing he still hasn't told me.

He shrugs. "I came to see you and what luck, I found you."

"What do you mean; you've come to see me?"

"I mean exactly that," he affirms.

"How did you know I would be here?" I wonder and he replies with an uncharacteristic silence. "Have you been following me?" I accuse.

"I've been watching you, yes." He nods.

"Watching me?" I reiterate, feeling my nails digging into my palms. My fists ball so tightly I'm sure to draw blood at any moment.

"Those were the words I used," he giggles.

"Stop toying with me and tell me what you're doing here." I demand through gritted teeth. He's starting to rile me and I'm not sure how much more I can stand it.

"It seems you live in infamy," he says plainly, once again, not answering my question.

"Infamy? How so?"

Taking another step closer, his coat brushes the whitened knuckles of my fists and my head lifts to look at the broad smile etched on his face.

"Everyone knows about the demon who executed the beloved Voodoo Queen of New Orleans," he whispers through his smile. Grabbing onto the edge of the bar to brace myself, I feel my knees buckle at the mere mention of Marie.

"How did you know?" The question shakes out of my mouth before I have the chance for properly make sense of it.

"Just because you're no longer around doesn't mean I still don't have my ear to the underground, especially when she passed. And as I've said, I know Baron Samedi."

"I don't understand," I mutter more to myself than him. Undertaker chuckles quietly, rocking his head side to side with the rhythm of his laughter. Fingers roll as though they are tapping the keys of an invisible piano and he plays merrily in his head. "Undertaker," I bark to grab his attention. He suddenly stops but keeps his head high in the air.

"Perhaps you didn't know this but before her… untimely demise shall we say, she was asking around for help."

"Help?"

"For you," he states simply, lowering his face back down to mine.

"Me? Why?"

Putting his hand into his pocket, he pulls out a long black ribbon and slides it behind his neck, bringing up the ends along the side of his head and looping it around itself. In a swift motion, Undertaker gathers his long silvery hair between the ribbon and ties it into a neat bow. The bartender returns with my drinks, his face furrows in a deep frown looking at us in antipathy.

"I'll put this on your tab, pay when you leave." He advises and I nod. Either he can tell what we are or has a natural aversion to us, it doesn't really matter, the bartender leaves us as swiftly as he came over.

"I always knew there was something queer going on between you and the butler," he deftly ignores my question yet again, smoothing the loose strands of hair behind his ears.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I snort.

"I'm just noting how your former collar to the Queen has turned into a collar of a different sort."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It seems you've become a pet," he infers.

"A pet," I grunt under my breath.

"Instead of a vicious guard dog, you're now nothing more than a little pussy cat," he taunts.

"If you're just going to insult me, do it elsewhere, I'm bored of this now."

"Insult you? Not my intention deary, not my intention at all." He titters. "Just making an observation."

"You're making an observation based on the little information you have."

"I have more information than you think," he returns. Pausing for a moment, Undertaker watches my face and my stance as I shift my weight from side to side, mulling over his words. "He will only drag you down Ciel, do you not see that?"

"Is that so?"

Studying me for a moment, he chuckles softly.

"I think you're only with him because you believe there's no other option for you," he grins.

"And I suppose you think there is?" I ask with an arch in my brow.

"I do," he replies quite matter of fact and I cross my arms, leaning my weight against the bar.

"This should be good, please, enlighten me."

"Leave with me," he suggests with a small smile. You could have knocked me over with a feather at his response. My eyes blink to ease their dryness; I've had them open for far too long.

"With you? And why should I do that?"

"Because," he begins, keeping his voice low. "I know he only makes you miserable. Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong."

I don't know what to say, am I miserable? The love I have for Sebastian, the love he has for me, is something I do not want. It's been simple to resign myself to this wretched fate because, as Undertaker has noted, I don't believe I have any other option. However, this is my choice, to stay or to leave, I've made it. This isn't the love I would want but perhaps it's the love I deserve. I have known no more than this, no different. It's not sweet like Elizabeth's love for me, which was something I could never return. It's harsh, vulgar and destroying, the love I have is really all I am good for.

"How would you know how he makes me feel?" The words pour from me before I have the chance to rationalize them.

"I guess I don't," he agrees. "But he doesn't care about you, not in the way you think he does," he concludes.

"I think you're wrong," I dismiss, which makes Undertaker roar with laughter and I frown. "What's so funny?"

"You Earl, you." He bellows, wrapping his arms around his waist to hold his sides. "In all my time knowing you, I never thought you'd be the one to be so, how should I put this? Absurd."

"I'm not," I riposte.

"You are! If you think that creature is capable of being anything other than the monster he is, then you're being absurd." He mocks.

"Am I not also a monster?"

"No," he giggles, wiping a tear from his eye trying to calm himself.

"No?"

"You're not like him yet," Undertaker assures. "You've still got something he has yet to possess but I know him, it's something he wants badly."

"And what's that?" I wonder with mild curiosity. Sebastian has always said that there is a darkness within me, something I haven't given him yet. I don't know why Undertaker would know any better as to what it would be but I'm already down this rabbit hole, I may as well hear what he thinks.

"Your humanity," he states solemnly.

"My humanity?" I repeat.

"Yes," he nods. "That last part of you that keeps you from being the monster he is." I stay silent and he grins. "If you were to give up your humanity, there'll be nothing left of you and then you'll be just like him."

"How do you know this?"

"How do I know anything?" He says flippantly, shrugging a shoulder.

Undertaker observers me with a slight interest, I drop my arms to the sides and rest against the bar. Bowing my head, I can feel his stare firmly on me as I think. If I go with him, what then? I have never entertained the notion of Undertaker caring about my wellbeing. He has warned me numerous times about Sebastian and taking care of my soul but it didn't go any further than that.

"What do you want with me?"

"Ah, well that's my secret to keep," he winks and I chuckle.

"Don't tell me you're worried about me?" I say with as much sarcasm as I'm willing to give in this moment.

"Ah no my dear Earl, I'm afraid you're mistaken," he cracks. "As I said, I miss the amusement you bring and nothing more."

"Then why should I leave with you?"

He takes a step toward me but I remain still. Fingers graze past my forehead brushing the tips of my fringe from my brow.

"Because I like the amusement you bring," he repeats slowly with a smile.

There's something behind his smile I can't seem to figure out, I've seen it before, something wicked and knowing. It's a smile he gives to show control.

"I'm going to need more than that," I retort.

"Very well," he drops his hands to his sides. "How about this, I was sent to fetch you."

"By whom?"

"Would you believe me if I said your dear Marie Laveau sent me?" He answers. My mouth drops open but I struggle for words, opting to stay silent. "Ah, that's got your attention now, hasn't it?"

"No, you're right, I don't believe you," I balk, sliding away from him.

"Why not?"

"Because as you've pointed out, she's dead, I killed her."

He cocks his head. "I wonder, did you really?"

My eyes narrow. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing," he sings.

"Then I'm leaving," I huff, twisting around to leave.

"Come now mon petit chou," he smiles and I stop.

"What did you say?" I ask with my back still to him.

"Isn't that what she called you?"

"It's a common term of endearment."

"Indeed it is. All right, then how about this demon, she sent me to help you break free of Sebastian." He states. "Seeing as though being indifferent didn't seem to work. Two horns, same goat. Am I right?"

A sharp bolt races up my spine. There is no way he could have guessed that, even if he tried. Does this mean she's still alive?

"How it is possible?" My voice comes out in a whisper.

"Well, that's my little secret, isn't it?"

I whip around to face him. Eyes wide with an mouth open as I gasp for air.

"No, you have to tell me," I stress. I must look like a creature possessed but I have to know.

"My you're demanding, aren't you?" He simpers. "Unfortunately Earl, you'll have to wait a little longer. It's still too early for you to know just yet."

"To know what?"

"I knew I smelled something foul," Sebastian interrupts me from behind.

"Butler, how are you?" Undertaker smirks, moving away from me.

"Don't give me that, what are you here for?" He asks sharply.

"Why is anyone ever here?" Undertaker remarks facetiously. He's completely unfazed by Sebastian's arrival. Shoulders relaxed and not one muscle in his body is tense as he casually leans against the bar. "I've come for your young master." He says flatly.

"Excuse me?" Sebastian bares his teeth with a snarl.

"You heard me butler, I've come for Ciel."

There is no humor in Undertaker's words, no amusement, or joke. He is clear and almost demanding but how dare he be so bold. Shaking his head with a chuckle, Sebastian darts in front of me to act as a shield but I step aside slightly, not needing his protection. It's been a while since I've seen him like this. He stands with his chest puffed out and the fine hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. My eyes scan the room to see if anyone has noticed this display of demonic bravado but conversations carry on seamlessly to the next topic. Hushed voices remain low, the band plays on and we continue unseen.

"Well, I'm afraid you are going to be left disappointed," Sebastian says calmly. "Ciel is mine."

Watching, I can't help but feel confused as Sebastian starts to growl lowly, which causes Undertaker to smile and shrug both shoulders.

"I think that should be his choice, don't you?"

"It is his choice and he chooses to stay with me."

Moving around Sebastian, Undertaker looks at me with a broad grin.

"Well now, young Earl, what are you to do?"

"I-" I hesitate.

"See now, he stutters," Undertaker remarks over his shoulder with his eyes still fixed on me. "He's wavering Sebastian. Perhaps your hold on him isn't as great as you once thought it was?"

"I think it's best if you leave, now." Sebastian hisses through clenched teeth.

"Do you want me to leave Ciel?" Undertaker asks me. I know he's serious; he's addressing me by my name. My mouth drops open to say something, anything, but my mind can't seem to formulate a response. With his hands in his pockets, Undertaker comes closer to me. "I'm waiting dear Earl," his voice is even and calm. "Should I stay or go?"

My eyes flick from his to Sebastian's. If he doesn't go, I don't know what Sebastian will do but I know there will be blood and I don't want any of the people here to be caught in the crossfire.

"You should go," I decide. Shrugging as he pulls his hands from his pockets, Undertaker rests them on my shoulders.

"Very well," he nods with his ever present grin plastered on his face. Leaning forward he puts his lips close to my ear. "Keep hold of your humanity Earl, you're going to need it." He whispers, sliding his hands down my arms and over my sides, stopping at the top of my hips. A muted growl rumbles in Sebastian's chest before his eyes change to a luminous roseate.

"You've over stayed your welcome, now go." He utters in a low voice. Undertaker hums to himself, squeezing my hips before taking his hands from my sides.

"You know, you really do look like your father." He notes one last time. Finding amusement in his words, he laughs to himself and starts to pass me. "You can't keep him forever butler," he remarks nonchalantly to the side as he walks away.

Sebastian's gaze remains fixed on him, probably ensuring he actually leaves. As soon as Undertaker is out the door, his whole body relaxes with a little roll of his shoulders just before he turns to me with a smile. It makes my skin crawl over how nonchalant he is within an instant.

"What did he want?" He asks.

"He wanted me to leave with him," I answer honestly, folding my arms and shrugging off the discomfort I felt from the tension.

"I gathered that. Did he say why?"

"He said he missed the amusement I bring him."

"How delightfully droll," Sebastian muses to himself. "Anything else?"

"No," I lie, thinking it wise not to divest the whole truth to a demon still provoked.

"No?"

"Of course not, why would there be?" I deliver my line flawlessly, maintaining a cool composure.

"Because I know him and I know you," he ascertains.

"What does that mean?"

"It means you're lying, my lord."

"I'm not," I defend. I can't tell Sebastian the truth, in fact, I'm not sure I believe it myself or even if there is a truth to believe. Is Marie alive? What does Undertaker know?

Sebastian studies me for a brief moment, reading my face to see if there is anything in my expression to give me away. The corner of his lip twitches, the lie must be written somewhere on my face.

"All right, I'll choose to believe you for the time being," he concedes with an unnerving smile.

"How gracious of you," I snort, taking care not to make too much of a point. I know he doesn't believe me but I'm not going to push it.

"I'm not going to let anyone or anything take you from me," he informs.

"Why's that? Because you love me?" I almost taunt, using the word love as some tawdry expletive. Sebastian looks at me, his gaze is firm, but his face is soft.

"I meant what I said to Undertaker, you are mine, and you belong to no one but me."

Maybe Undertaker was right and I'm now nothing more than a pet. Possessed and kept like a creature without a will of my own. Suddenly, I'm lightheaded. This has all gotten too much for me now. Looking around I remember exactly where I am, in a place that leaves a rancid taste in my mouth. These people disgust me and I want nothing to do with the two women waiting for us at the table, I want to leave and I want to go now.

"I want to go home," I sigh.

"But what about the lovely women we have at the table?"

"I don't care about them," I almost snap. Sebastian watches me whilst a faint smile creeps onto his lips.

"Very well, I suppose I too have grown tired of this place."

"Make our excuses to the ladies and I'll pay for these drinks," I suggest.

"Very well," Sebastian acquiesces, collecting the two amaretto sours before leaving to head back to the table. I watch as he weaves through the others starting to fill the space. I'm glad he's agreed to go; at least I can consider what just happened in the privacy of my own home. Turning back to the bar to pay for the drinks, I reach into my pocket to take out some money. As I pull the money clip out, a folded piece of paper falls to the ground. After picking it up and unfolding it, I notice it's a note addressed to me. Looking around to make sure Sebastian is nowhere near, I read it.

_My dear Earl,_

_If you want to see Marie again, meet me at the corner of Canal Street and Bienville Avenue tomorrow night at eight – and bring two bottles of your finest rum._

My eyes blink slowly at the slip of paper. Folding it and slipping it back into my pocket, I lean against the bar. I have known Undertaker for a long time and I know he does nothing without a price. So far, it's been nothing but humorous jokes but how can I repay him this time? What does he really want from me and more importantly, did Marie really send him? I am confused but if I want to know more, I will have to find a way to see him tomorrow night.


End file.
